Posts Tagged ‘ routine ’

Milestone Monday: Is Your Toddler Different At School?

Monday, July 9th, 2012

Is it a milestone to suddenly turn shy? To go from boisterous to bashful?

The other day I went to pick Fia up from preschool. I asked the director if she was the wildest one in her class. What she said made no sense to me.

“Fia? No, she’s probably the quietest one.”

Huh? Feral Fia? The one who never stops chatting at home? Who oozes personality and spunk? Who dances and climbs and twirls? Even the other day while we were sitting at dinner, she squeezed her eyes shut, put her hands in prayer position, and went into a yoga chant. Phil and I almost died laughing.

“Fia, where did you learn that?”

“From yoga at school!” she exclaimed.

I’ve seen her do downward dog and tree pose, but the chants blew me away. It was so damn funny.

The school situation has me baffled. They said that during free play, she usually just plays quietly with herself, reading books or coloring. During the structured activities she is with everyone else. But other times she’s kind of a loner.

They told me she often stands back and just watches the other kids; that she is an observer, not a participant. I don’t know why the thought of that breaks my heart, but it does. Is she shy? Scared? Not confident? This is a girl that for months couldn’t stop hugging every kid she met.

She’s 2 years and 7 months. Is this still the age of parallel play? Or is she insecure? This side of her is a mystery to me.

She only goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The teachers suggested we bump her up to 3 days in a row. Tue-Wed-Thur. Perhaps the repetition will make her more interactive with the other kids.

I have no doubt this is a great preschool. So it’s not that. Maybe my girl is just more subdued in unfamiliar situations? Or larger crowds? The other day our nanny had 6 kids over. Phil observed from his study that while all the other kids were running through the sprinklers, Fia just stood back and watched. She did that for 10 minutes. When she is one-on-one with a playdate, she is much more engaged. I’ve never seen her just stand back.

Should I tell our nanny and the school to pull her into the group more? Or is this something where you take a hands off approach and let her find her own way? Is going to preschool for 3 days in a row a wise choice, so it becomes more familiar? (It’s only from 9-1 pm).

I’m looking for advice from the moms who have been there before me. I don’t want to overstep my bounds with her, but I don’t want to ignore something either. Thoughts?

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Daycare Dilemma

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

I decided to put Fia into daycare. It lasted exactly one hour.  (For those who follow my blog, I did this a few weeks before I wrote the Sitter Chronicles).

I had this idea that she’d get more interaction, have structure, and maybe even learn to nap in a group setting (she currently naps in the stroller in our downstairs bathroom). I pictured her sitting at a table with other tots, drawing, or sitting in circle time, listening. She already plays with other kids her age, but it’s without any sort of routine.  And I keep hearing how good it is for kids to have a routine.

Fia and friends

I found a daycare in our neighborhood that allows part time. The ratio is 4:1. Seems reasonable. I enrolled her for two afternoons a week.

The “transition” started a few days before. First day: 1 hour with me there. 2nd day: 1 hour, but with me for only 15 minutes. 3rd day: I disappear for the hour.

I went the first day and that was it. Here’s why:

(more…)

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