Posts Tagged ‘ pressure ’

The Failure Hour: A Must For Every Mom

Friday, September 7th, 2012

I may have come up with my most brilliant idea yet. At the end of the day, between 4:30-6, my mental state falls apart. I am exhausted from schlepping in 100-degree heat, working on my lack-of-career, “pretend play” (read my rant), changing diapers, begging Fia to eat one more piece of turkey, telling Wayne to stop eating her piece of turkey, and on and on and on.

But as all you moms know, the day is far from over. In some ways, the hardest part is setting in.  The dreaded dinner hour (what to make? I have no food), the bath (“No shampoo mama. I don’t want it! No!!!”), and book time.

Sidenote: has anyone tried “reading” Good Dog, Carl to their toddler? Yes, let’s show our child how to fall out of the crib, open a refrigerator, choke on food, poison a dog with chocolate, maim themselves in a laundry shoot, and drown in a fish tank. All without words. It is a hopelessly exhausting book. Not to mention full of stupid ideas.

In short, by this time of the day, I feel like a failure. I’ve failed as a wife (messy house, sh-tty dinner), a mom (Benign Neglect + 2 hours of Sesame Street/Super Why/Sid the Science Kid), and as a person (I swear running shoes, I’ll workout tomorrow).

What better way to get over it than celebrate! Introducing: The Failure Hour.

Bring the babies! Bring the wine! Let’s embrace inadequacy!

The pressure is so great on being the perfect mom, wife, blah blah, we may as well benefit from failing on all fronts.

A couple times a week at the allotted hour, we moms gather at my house, drink wine, and watch our kids get even filthier. Sometimes we feed them dinner; so at least one thing is checked off our evening list. As the sun sets and we sit around laughing, the rest of the night seems so much more manageable. Even bearable.

Maybe I’ll make this a national organization. Let me know if you’re game to start a chapter in your area. It’s easy. BYOB (Bring Your Own Baby–and bottle. Of wine, that is).

Founding Members of The Failure Hour

Occasionally a husband or two will join in. But they have to have at least one kid in arms to participate.

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Where’s The Poop?

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Okay, so I tackled the Diaper Rash update. Now onto Fia’s poop. Ever since her first one a few days ago, it’s gotten harder and harder for her to want to go. She hasn’t peed yet in the potty either. The last thing I want to do is pressure her, but I also don’t think we should give up at this point.

What’s happening is she wants to go, but is scared to go. She says, “I have to poop.” We tear off the diaper, put her on the potty, and after 10 seconds, she says, “All Done.”  Okay, we say. And let her put her diaper and pants back on–only to have the same scenario repeated over and over. It can go on for 30 minutes, at which point she gets upset with herself (I think), and starts to tantrum and cry about it. I tell her I don’t care if she poops in the potty. I tell her to put her diaper back on and forget about it. But I think she’s a little overachiever and doesn’t want to disappoint herself. So she cries even more. And then the whole thing gets stretched out for hours.

Eventually she does poop (after exhausting all of us) and we cheer, give her a cookie, etc.

Last night this routine began about 30 minutes before bedtime. Problem is, she never made the poop. We finally put her to bed 45 minutes late. Poopless in LA.

This morning, it started again. Now it’s late afternoon. She still says she has to poop, but hasn’t. She’s going to constipate herself. But more than that, I hate to see her put this pressure on herself. Especially because I don’t give a sh-t. No pun intended. I like diapers. I think they’re cute. I don’t care if she goes in them. But she was giving us the cues that she was ready to start potty training, so here we are. Poopless and frustrated.

Any advice?

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