Posts Tagged ‘ pregnancy ’

Company=Chaos=Low Milk Supply

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

A Rare Moment of Quiet

I got up a few nights ago to pump (Phil does the late night feed). Nothing came out. I was alarmed. I can typically get 5 oz in a matter of minutes. But I knew deep down what was happening. My body was giving me an ultimatum. Slow down or else…

For weeks I’ve been running myself ragged.  Actually, ever since before Emmett was born.  I’ve been catering to company and overbooking everything from play dates to mom dates.

I woke up today and realized Emmett is almost three months old. He’s my last baby. I want to enjoy him, to soak in and savor his existence.

I’ve been so concerned with Fia not feeling my attention shift and so overwhelmed by the constant stream of guests, that I haven’t been taking proper care of myself–mentally, emotionally, or physically. Or him. I have missed feeds (he is given a bottle if I’m not around) and it doesn’t help that I hate pumping–partially due to my boob wound. It tends to open back up if I’m on the pump too long.

What it comes down to is this: I have basically blown off the most basic needs of my newborn and put everyone else–including myself–ahead of him. I’m not proud.

It’s tricky because on the one hand, you love your friends and family. I want them to meet the babes and I want to spend quality time with them. But let’s face it, even if people are here to “help,” there is a level of “entertaining” involved: cooking meals, cleaning up, showing the sights, etc.  I want to be a gracious host. But at what expense? With a new baby, I can barely pull off a routine as it is.

I know a lot of life is running errands, grocery shopping, and yes, having loved ones visit. But when our last round of visitors left, I exhaled for the first time in ages. Company=work.  No matter who it is. Inevitably any semblance of a schedule goes out the window.

Tell me I’m not alone in this quandary.

Looking back at the past 6 months, I also realize how exhausted I am from moving our family across the country when hugely pregnant and setting up a life for us in LA– also when hugely pregnant. Then…I had a baby. Yes, a baby! That small, earth-shattering event that rocks your world.

Oh, and it was a C-section, with some recovery involved–but I blew that off too. I was dust-busting my floors two days out of the hospital because I couldn’t take the mess. As a result, I kept bleeding. A friend finally gave me a similar ultimatum that my boobs did: if you don’t stay off your feet, you will not heal. It’s that simple. I finally listened.

Now I’m listening again. And luckily, the body forgives.

For the past two days I have relaxed, meditated and breathed. I have been drinking Mother’s Milk tea constantly. I’ve gotten our feedings back on track and have spent some serene, quiet moments with my sweet son. I have kissed, smelled and nuzzled him like a mama cat.

As I type, he is sleeping next to me. He peeps and coos and smiles as he dreams. He is joy.

Forgive me baby boy. I’m back now. And our “Inn” on Ames Street is CLOSED until further notice.

 

 

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Fia Friday: Easter-Panda-Time!

Friday, April 6th, 2012

Fia hasn’t met the Easter Bunny yet. But at her little “transitional” school (ie: pre pre-school), they had a big Easter Egg hunt. Of course she loved it. We’re going to do a big one here since we now have a great yard. One of my best friends, Pamela Thomas, is coming from New York with her two girls, Emerson (age 10) and Elliott (age 7). So excited to see them. They are one of the families I miss the most since moving to LA.

Sidenote: Pamela’s company is in charge of the prenatal photo contest I wrote about if anyone out there is pregnant! We’re looking for the best sonogram/ultrasound photo of your baby. I’m one of the judges. Click on this link for more info.

Okay, back to Easter: My only problem is Fia still won’t see the Easter Bunny even though she will have had two egg hunts. We do happen to have a panda costume (don’t ask). Two actually. I asked Pamela if she would put it on and pretend to be the “Panda Bunny.” She’s game. Fia may grow up to have an Easter Bunny Identity Crisis (EBIC), but we’ll deal with that down the road. I’ll post panda pics next week!

And just for fun…here is the panda outfit. It actually looks kind of creepy. Wonder if she’ll scare the other kids?? Hmmm. This may not be my most brilliant of ideas…

Scary or Sweet Substitute for Easter Bunny?

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Lexapro and Breastfeeding

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

I wrote at length about my decision to stay on my antidepressants while pregnant. It was the right one for me, and so far, knock on wood, Emmett is nothing but alert, healthy and happy.

I did end up going off the Wellbutrin at around 7 months. It was sort of by accident, because I ran out of pills and hadn’t ordered any more. There were no side effects to the instant withdrawal and I felt fine without it. I did stay on the 10 mg of Lexapro until 3 weeks before my C-Section.

At that time, I decided to taper. The reproductive psychiatrist I had met with told me that there was a 10-30% chance of having a baby who is slightly fussy (or fussier) post birth if you keep on the meds. Still, she encouraged me to stay on them, because the fussy-factor dissipates within a few days. However, I tapered with Fia and I wanted to do the same this time around. I can live with .01% risk of staying on an antidepressant while pregnant. But 10-30% felt high to me, even though it’s a short-lived problem.

My taper wasn’t fun. I felt that dizzy/spaced out feeling pretty constantly. But I went with it because when you’re that pregnant, you feel exhausted anyway.

Emmett was born on January 25, 2012 and he has, knock on a forest, been an incredibly easy baby thus far. However, about a week after he was born, my hormones were raging, my nerves were getting frayed and my husband was pushing me to go back on the Lexapro before things went south.

I consulted a lactation consultant who informed me that Lexapro is now an L2 drug. Here is the website that explains the categories and gives a list of drugs. An L2 is a drug which, has been “studied in a limited number of breastfeeding women without an increase in adverse effects to the infant. And/or the evidence of a demonstrated risk which is likely to follow use of this medication in a breastfeeding woman is remote.”

L1 is the safest, L5 is the most risky.

I was so relieved to hear that Lexapro had been studied, that the first thing I did when I got home was take a 5 mg dose. I’ve been on that for about 2 months, and just last week went up to 10 mg. I was feeling a lot of anxiety and intensity about things. I was hoping 5 mg would be enough, but it wasn’t. I have noticed an immediate difference in my state of mind.

Wellbutrin is still an L3, which means it’s moderately safe, but no controlled studies have been done. I may go back on a small dosage of that as time goes on. We’ll see. I have some semi-obsessive issues I’m trying to deal with that seem to be getting worse. Like my obsession with cleaning. I feel like it is getting a bit out of control–which is ironic because I think “control” is what it’s all about. I will blog about that soon, as I have some ideas on how I may try and tackle this.

Anyway, I just wanted to update all of you who were interested and/or in similar situations as I was with the whole antidepressant arena. Thanks for listening.

 

Picture of breastfeeding via Shutterstock

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Prenatal Photo Contest

Saturday, March 24th, 2012

Here is one of a friend of mine

Hey gang. I’m judging a “cutest baby contest” for Brainstrong, which is a DHA supplement. They’re giving the winner $5000! Woot!

Here’s what makes this contest unique: It’s for a baby-in-utero. It’s the first time they’re doing it, and the first time I’ve been asked to judge something like this. My co-judge is Nate Stolldorf, the Head Booking Agent for the Children’s Division at Product Model Management.

If you or anyone you know has a good picture to submit, go to this link for details.

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Emmett’s Mid-Week Milestone

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

 

Capturing the First Smiles...

He smiled earlier this week. And this morning I got the biggest grin yet.  My little man is melting my heart.

We are both definitely coming out of the fog. It’s been 8 weeks now and that means he is getting more alert each day. As am I. I actually went on a slow jog this weekend. It felt good.

The funny thing for me about baby #2 is how I forget to do the basics. With Fia I had a chart. It detailed her poops, pees, barf and bath. Emmett is lucky if I remember to bath him. Things like tummy time just often get forgotten. Last night I had him on for about 5 minutes and he seemed really excited about trying to roll over.

Our pediatrician had a great line for me I wanted to share. It might be the only thing I believe is true from a peds mouth (I wrote about my frustration with baby docs). He said you’ll be so focused on making sure your first-born doesn’t feel left out, that you’ll give her 80%. And for the rest of her life she’ll feel jipped for not having 100%. Your second born, on the other hand, will be eternally grateful for the 20% you manage to give him.

I had to laugh at that when I realized it had been almost a week since I bathed him. And yet, he seems perfectly happy and chill about it all. Maybe it’s just his temperament but he doesn’t seem like the wild child Fia was from the moment she came out.

My brother is super mellow. He ice climbs. As a profession (technically he’s called an Alpinist). If you haven’t heard of it, don’t worry. It’s insane to me. He lives in a shack in Colorado and travels to places like Patagonia and Pakistan to climb for months at a time.

I am the opposite.  I like a good adventure, but I like my beautiful home, and all the comforts that go along with it. In other words, I don’t like roughing it anymore (unless I’m going to re-climb Mt Kilimanjaro).

Yet despite our differences, we’re incredibly close.

It will be fun to see how Fia and Em shape up in this world together. Smiling, I hope!

 

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