Posts Tagged ‘ potty train ’

The Sh-t is (Almost) Hitting the Fan

Sunday, April 21st, 2013

Okay, I’ve written about how hyperactive my boy is. But now he’s taking it to a whole new level. The ceiling. Well, not quite.

I lift weights. I lift babies. I do yoga. I have strong arms and sort of a strong core…at least it’s getting there. I’m almost a hundred pounds more than Emmett. And at least three feet taller. So how is it that he is beating me in a race against poop? And why is it only me? Not his babysitter or his dad?

When I go to change his diaper, particularly when it’s poop, I go armed with toys. I get everything I need right next to me and then the boom, the race is on. Or off  I should say… with the diaper.

He starts to scream and move and twist and turn while poop is hanging off of him. At times I find him dangling upside down as I hunch forward holding him by one leg, shouting “Emmett–NO!” He screams like he’s being waterboarded.

At least once a day I get it smeared on me. How’s that for disgusting? If Fia is home, I have her try and hold down his arms while I change him. She joyfully joins in on the “Emmett NO!” chant. She loves nothing more than having the upper hand. Or at least thinking she does–as feces go flying. It’s a race against the shit clock. No shit.

He is 15 months. I swear if I thought he (or I) could handle it, I would potty train him now. But I fear he’d just crap all over the house and himself. With glee.

No parent should want to take Xanax or drink before changing a diaper. It shouldn’t be this hard.


Picture of dirty diaper via Shutterstock

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Need Suggestions! My Toddler Is Eating Her Hair!

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

Fia’s hair is finally at chewing length. I noticed lately she’s been picking around at her tongue. When I’ve asked her what she’s doing, her reply is, “Eating my hair.”

“No Fia, you don’t eat hair, it’s bad for you,” I told her.

Now I seem to be repeating that sentence a couple times a day.

Yesterday I even saw hair in her poop. I wasn’t on an archeological dig in the toilet. I just happened to notice it while, well, wiping her.

Sure, I can put her hair up in a ponytail, but let’s face it, if you want to find a way to eat your hair, you will.

I’ve heard this is a really bad thing because hair doesn’t digest (as evidenced by my sewage excursion this week).

Can anyone offer me any suggestions? Appreciate it.

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Milestone Monday: First Poop

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

Fia Looks At Her Poop

I took a picture of poop today. Now that’s a sentence I never imagined writing.

Cleo (my nanny) and I have been working on potty training Fia. Just very gradual and casual. We bought her Pull-Ups and we ask her to tell us before she goes. If she poops in the potty, she gets a cookie. So far she always tells us after the fact. And of course still wants the cookie. Thing is, you can tell when she’s about to go. She stands perfectly erect, lifts up her right heel, and gets this semi-blank look on her normally animated face. If you didn’t know better, you’d think she was doing a ballet move. What can I say? She’s a graceful pooper.

“Fia, do you have to poop?” I always ask when I see the stance.

“No!” she always exclaims. Strongly and with passion, I might add.

“But baby, if you poop in the potty, you get a cookie!”

“NO POO-POOS,” she shouts.

Then one of us grabs her and runs her to the potty, knowing it’s probably too late. And usually it is.

However, yesterday we were eating lunch outside together and she had “the look.” We brought out the potty, stripped off her pants and Pull-Ups, and let her run around naked. We kept reminding her the potty was there. Cleo says not to put pressure on her or make a big deal about it until after mission is accomplished. I follow her lead. As she likes to say with everything from tantrums to teething: “It’s the same movie. I watch it over and over and over again.” Bless her. She’s like the mother I never had. And an amazing teacher.

But back to the poop: Fia would run around the yard, come back and sit on the potty, then get up and run again. We didn’t say anything. Finally on about her 6th time, she sat longer and made pushing sounds. We still didn’t say anything, as we didn’t want to make her self-conscious (hmmm…what’s there to be self conscious about? Pooping in public? With an audience? I can’t imagine…).

She stood up and announced, “I POOPED.” Oh did she ever. Without getting too graphic (I really like this blogging job) it was like a horse or a cow’s poo. Wow.

Cleo ordered me to go get the camera and take a picture. Huh? Whhaaattt? But I do as I’m told. (BTW–do you guys take a pic of the first poop? I’ve never heard of such a thing). I then took another one of Fia looking at her poop. Which is the picture I did post.

We all celebrated. Fia and I danced in the yard and she got 2 cookies. This morning as I was breastfeeding Em, she got “the look.” I told her to pull down her pj’s and sit on the potty. I couldn’t help her, as my hands were full. Instead, she pooped in her Pull-Ups and yelled, “NO POO-POOS!” And so it goes….

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Moving Mid-Pregnancy: The Pacifier Gets to Stay! Yay Hooray!

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.

Sleeping Angel

Okay, I know she’s two. And for many parents that means the pacifier (or Bagdee, as Fia calls it) should already have gone into outer space. My pediatrician in Brooklyn told me to get rid of it before 18 months. That’s when they get really attached. We didn’t do it. Then came the move to LA. With that whole sh-t show of a plane ride/barfing baby, moving across the country, etc, we needed Bagdee as much as Fia did.

But now we’re settled. Except that…in 6 weeks all hell is going to break loose with Baby #2. And once again, Fia will find big changes in her little world. So it was with great trepidation I brought up my dilemma with her new pediatrician during the 2-year check up.

I explained to Dr. Iyer that Fia only has it during nap times and bedtime. And usually it falls out once she falls asleep.

When she looked in Fia’s mouth, she said she couldn’t tell that Fi was a paci-user. Then she gave a FREE PASS!!

She said with all the changes about to happen, and the fact that Fia is already hooked on Bagdee, not to worry about it. Just let it be. I also still give her a bottle at night, but only before bedtime. Then we brush her teeth. I cringed, waiting for Dr. Iyer to say it’s time to give that up too. Nope. Said that as long as we brush her teeth after and the bottle isn’t going in the crib with her, it’s fine. The only thing she had us do is switch from whole milk to 2%.

She also explained that with the new baby, he’ll presumably have a bottle and pacifier. So to take away both of those things from Fia, only to then “give” them to the new baby could cause her to feel sad/jealous/insecure, etc. I buy it. Happily.

(Side note: I’m planning to breastfeed, but I also don’t buy the whole “nipple confusion” thing and plan to do both bottle and boob. BTW–that’s another piece of faulty info I had from some in the natural community during my pregnancy with Fia–that if you introduce a bottle they won’t take the boob. I call B.S. on that one!).

So both bottle and Bagdee are going to stick around a while longer. Which leads me to wonder–should at least potty train? Get one hurdle out of the way… Thoughts?

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