Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
Fia shares with most of her friends. She has never been a baby who says, “That’s mine.” She also isn’t a huge grabber of toys. Until recently. And only with her baby brother. What is up with that?
Who Me? But I’m a perfect princess Mama!
I can have a handful of her friends over playing and with most of them, I run very little interference. But with Emmett it is CONSTANT. And it’s driving me crazy. Everything he grabs for or wants, she suddenly needs. He will be crawling towards his rattle, which she has never shown interest in, and suddenly she is bolting across the room to swoop in and get it before he can. It’s as if her life depends on stealing from him.
We keep telling her to stop it. To share with him. But I am so sick of hearing my own voice repeat this over and over again. She also delights in tackling him. She puts her arms around him from behind (while he’s sitting) and pulls him down on top of her. There have been times that she puts him in a chokehold. He doesn’t seem to enjoy being choked. I can’t imagine why. (He is a tank. He is so going to get back at her once he can hold his own.)
She is always in his space
The thing is, she doesn’t seem to be doing either of these things out of hostility or jealousy. The sharing seems to come from more of a bossy, I’m-in-charge place (wait, is there a mirror around?) and the tackling comes from her obsessive hugging habit. But both need to stop because he’s getting to the age where he cares and starts to cry. And I’m sick of playing referee.
When I say, “Fia, that’s not nice. Give it back to him. He’s upset,” she does, but not after saying, “B-b-u-utt-mama, I need it for just a tiny little bit more. Th-th-then he can share with me later.” She says it with such authority too. If it didn’t drive me crazy, I’d find it hilarious.
Is this normal sibling stuff? And is there a better way of handling it than being a broken record? Fill me in.
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Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations, Mom Tricks and Tips
Monday, July 16th, 2012
This is going to make me sound like an inept parent, but here goes: I haven’t “done” anything with Emmett yet. As in, any mommy-and-me classes, music, a stroll in the park — nothing. With Fia, it was the exact opposite extreme. We never stayed in, partially because it was a Brooklyn apartment and we always had neighbors and friends to hang with. Plus, you stroll everywhere there and isolation just isn’t an option.
With Em, we hang out around the house and on weekends when we go somewhere we (obviously) don’t leave him home. But if I’m doing playdates they are with Fia, and our nanny is out and about with Emmett or at home with him. In fact, she’s much better at figuring out fun parks to take him to. She puts down a blanket and they play. That’s another thing I don’t really know how to do. Play. I’m great at smothering him. Sucking his cheeks, smelling his hair… if I could eat him, I would. He’s that delicious. But playing? Not so much.
Anyway, this morning a crew was coming to work on our house. We had to leave. Cleo had arranged a playdate with Fia and I was taking Emmett. Because I’ve given myself an online blackout at nights, I didn’t Google anything to do. I panicked. I also felt like a major idiot. What mom doesn’t know what to “do” with her baby?
I drove to a nearby park, put his car seat in the stroller, and went to a patch of grass, only to realize the morning dew made the whole area wet. Back in the car feeling like a total failure, I drove to an indoor playground I’ve been to with Fia.
I walked in and began doing what I do when I feel insecure. Over-explaining.
“I know he’s only 4 ½ months, so we probably don’t belong here, but I wasn’t sure where to go with him and my daughter is on a playdate and there are people in our house, so I’m sorry, if you think we shouldn’t come in…”
She gently interrupted my diarrhea of the mouth.
“This is a great place for him. You can sit in the ball pit, he can look at all the colors, see other kids. And, because he’s so young, it’s free for you both.”
Huh? No way. With a small amount of confidence back, I walked in and started to “play.” With my new Blackberry blackout plan, I didn’t check my phone once. I even met a nice dad there with his son. I felt focused and in the moment. And I remembered that I do actually know how to play.
After an hour, we got back in the car, he zonked out, and I took him to lunch, where I’m writing this post. I’ve had a great date with my son and plan to do it every week. Momma’s got her groove back.
Small update: Just as I finished writing this, two large men came in and started bellowing a conversation back and forth. Literally talking as if there was a jackhammer behind them. The whole restaurant was empty, yet they choose to sit near me. Really? I did loud shhhhh-ing in Emmett’s ear to make the point. Hello! Infant sleeping! Not a clue. Within minutes Em was awake. I wanted to poison their food. Aaarrrggghhhh.
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babysitter, blackberry blackout, indoor playground, milestone monday, play date, playdate, playing, technology, technology addiction | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Milestone Monday, Mom Situations
Friday, January 13th, 2012
What can I say? Fia Rocks. And she loves our “secret rock garden”. Yet another place in this weird house that we’re renting in LA (by weird, I mean very cool with lots of nooks and cranies to explore. It was built in 1928 and was Cecile B. DeMille’s cinematographer’s home). This garden is tucked away off the main yard. It has lots of shade, and, as the name suggests, lots of rocks. She never gets tired of picking them up and depositing them somewhere else. Or having “Mama Hold Them”…. we have lots of little adventures back here.
In the Secret Shady Rock Garden
Her Moment of Zen
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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011
I had a new sitter, Gayle, come over today and meet Fia. We were sitting on the carpet playing. I wanted to stay for a bit and make sure all went well. My feet were on the floor and I suddenly felt the ground moving. I almost said to Gayle, “did you feel that?” But then I thought, no, I don’t want this woman to think I’m a whack job. Yet. I must be having a dizzy spell….even though I’ve never had a dizzy spell before. Or maybe I’m going crazy. So, like a good hypochondriac, my mind went to all the dark places, including the what if something happens to me and I suddenly collapse and no one knows my symptoms??? Fia won’t have a mama. I won’t have the baby. Oh god, I’m dying. I just know it.
Then I get a text from my friend. “Did you feel the earthquake?”
Yes folks, we’ve had an earthquake! New York City! The reports are still coming in, but it appears the epicenter was in Virginia.
Holy crap. This is crazy stuff. And yet, I’m not going crazy, which is good. Such a relief. My body and brain are intact. I just have a good, paranoid placenta brain that doesn’t connect dots….like floors shaking might equal an earthquake, not a tumor in my head.
I hope no one got hurt.
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