Posts Tagged ‘ pee ’

Penis Anger

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

He looks so innocent....don't let him fool you!

The penis is killing me. I will soon need anger management. I have followed the advice of other moms but I am still getting bathed in urine. As are my walls, Emmett’s body–even his face. Today it happened three times in a row. What am I doing wrong?

Here is what one mom wrote to me:

1. Open the front of his diaper for a few seconds to let the air hit his penis; the temperature change is usually what triggers the peeing;

2. Lay the front of the diaper back over him and wait a few seconds to see if he’s going to pee;

3. Proceed with diaper change.

I have not been peed on since I learned this trick over two years ago.


I have tried this trick. The problem is, I pull the diaper back, then wait a few seconds. I proceed with the change. And 8 times out of 10 I still get hit.

Emmett poops a ton. And I am still battling this diaper rash. It turned bacterial. I got prescription ointment. Added an anti-fungal ointment in there as well, by my own accord. It went away. But now it’s back.  I don’t want him to sit in the poop for even a few minutes, as that seems to be what made it come back, despite the 10-inch buffer of creams + aquafor + triple paste.

So he poops, I change. 10 minutes later he poops again. I change. This goes on for about 30-45 minutes and up to five diapers. Somewhere in there, we both get a golden shower. Maybe three.

At about 4 a.m. this morning, we had simultaneous poop-pee-barf. Yes, baptism by fire with a newborn. But with Fia I only really dealt with the barf/reflux. She didn’t poop 5 times in 30 minutes either.

I am going to look into a pee tent, but honestly, he wiggles so much, even a burp cloth doesn’t work. It would have to be a tent that you use in a circus to cover the whole area. Oh, but then I’d be under it and get sprayed anyway. I’m also trying to dry out his bum each time, which adds to the length of time we both become moving targets.

This morning I texted my husband. I told him I was sorry to break the news to him, but I may become a lesbian or a nun as I am beginning to hate the penis. He hasn’t written back. He’s probably too terrified to come home.

Now I’m off to swimming lessons with Fia. Where I won’t get peed on because a) the instructor is in the water with her not me; b) she wears a swim diaper; c) she has a vagina. Thank the lord!

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Moving Mid-Pregnancy: 3-Day Potty Training?

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.

Since we now have a house, a yard and nice weather (to run around diaper-free) I was debating the whole potty training thing again. Ideally, before Baby Leroy (working title) comes onto the scene January 25th.

I’m all for a condensed method and a friend told me about the 3-day potty training. Who out there has tried this? With sleep training, it took less than 3 nights. I can be a stickler. And Fia catches on fast (she’s a girl, after all!). However, I don’t want to set myself–or more so Fia–up for failure.

My new pediatrician said you really have to gauge if the child is *ready*. Fia’s first sentence was “I pooped.” But that doesn’t mean she’s ready, does it? She says, “I pooped” all the time and 9 times out of 10, she hasn’t. I correct her, “No baby, you peed.” Her typical reply is either to stick to her story, ie: “I pooped” …or “I farted.” Silly girl.

She watches me go the bathroom and her little potty is there too, but so far it’s not like she’s taken much interest. I’m just not sure when to push and when to hold back. Any advice or insight? Is there a way to peak her interest in potty training first, then go in for the 3-day military-like method?

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I’m Having A…..

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

BOY. Working titles: Little Leroy.  Wayne Sanchez Junior. Baby Oops. Found out at 11 weeks when we got the CVS results back.

Fia Gets a Brother

Fia Gets a Brother

I knew from the moment I got pregnant that it was an XY. I am usually not one of those people with a second sense for this sort of thing. But somehow I just knew.

When the genetic counselor called to tell us that the chromosomes looked normal (whew), she asked if we wanted to know the sex. Yes!  I had rehearsed this moment for the past 2 days. I know she is going to say boy, but maybe just maybe, she’ll say girl.

Nope. My instincts were right. Boy. Oh boy.

If I’m being honest, there was a moment of disappointment, of mourning. Maybe it’s because I think we have a better chance of another great baby if it’s the same sex as Fia. Maybe it’s because I wanted her to have a sister. And maybe it’s because I am already so familiar with her.  Change is scary.

There’s also a nagging fear with a boy: the most modern of medicine still can’t test for Autism and the rates are so much higher with boys. My husband’s nephew is severely autistic, which I know adds to my worry. But I know there is nothing I can do about it, so just like this “unexpected” pregnancy, I am going with it. I have to. I’m grateful for the tests we could do. And if something is wrong, we’ll deal.

In the weeks since the CVS I have wrapped my head around “boy” much more. Boys love their mammas. They are big snugglers. And puberty will probably be easier to deal with.

But in the meantime, do I really have to look forward to a penis peeing on me when I change his diapers? That doesn’t sound like very much fun.

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Potty Training

Sunday, August 21st, 2011


Fia said her first sentence today. “I pooped!” I couldn’t be more proud. My work on this earth is done. Except that now it’s time to potty train, right?

We went to the store and picked out a cute little training toilet that makes music when you go. Of course all she wanted to do was climb on it.

I kept saying, “pee pee?” She would repeat. “Pee pee.” I’d take off her diaper, sit her on the potty, and she and I would just stare at each other. Then she’d laugh, stick her foot in the bowl part to hear the music and laugh. I’d put the diaper back on. Five minutes later she’d say “pee pee.”

“Oh, you want to pee pee in the potty?” I’d say, taking off the diaper again. Then same scenario.

After about 7 times of doing this in 30 minutes, the bowl was still dry, Wayne was bored of watching and so was I.

The potty is sitting in our living room and we’ll see what today brings. But I ask you moms: I have no clue how to go about doing this. And no, I don’t have time to read a book on it. I barely had time to read the instructions on how to make the music go (hint: put in battery). It goes back to my “If I only had 10 minutes” list.

So I’m asking for your expertise. Do I keep the potty out in the living room or am I going to have to take her back and forth to the bathroom every few minutes for the next 6 months? Because honestly if that’s the case, I’d rather stick with diapers. They don’t bother me a bit. But I also don’t want to miss the training window.

Fi, Wayne and I await your wisdom.

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