Posts Tagged ‘ noise ’

My Baby Naps in Bathroom

Monday, July 18th, 2011

My baby sleeps in the bathroom. It’s perhaps my best trick of motherhood. But before the sleep Nazis get all over me, let me smugly clarify: she goes down like an angel for 12 hours in her crib at night. Ferber is a genius. With naps though, his methods fall short for me. And Fi.

For months I’d get anywhere from 29-31 minutes, at most twice a day, in the crib. Hardly enough time to wash a dish, pet the cat or write a blog. Our Brooklyn apartment is very loft-like and her room and the downstairs bathroom are the quietest places in the house. But the bathroom has something her bedroom doesn’t: total darkness (if I make her room dark, I can’t run the a/c window unit).

I happened upon my baby-in-the-bathroom trick when a guy was coming over to install a safety gate (this, after my husband threw his drill across the room in frustration, proclaiming KidCo had “ruined his day.”) I knew the handy man would be pounding near her bedroom. Desperately I tried to think of where to put her.

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Irrational Mom Anger

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

I have irrational anger. And I’m not a completely irrational person, nor am I particularly angry. But in my mommy life, I have found the mundane to be maddening.

For example: sirens. I live in New York City. They’re expected, right? But what about after 45 minutes of strolling when Fia FINALLY succumbs to sleep? It happens constantly: an obnoxious siren wails by. Probably to save someone’s life. But damn it, it interrupted her REM and now I’ve lost the nap. Great. Thanks a lot.

ambulance

Then there’s the old ladies, the maternal grandma types. Revered and respected. And yet, I find myself wanting to pull out duct tape and handcuffs. Just as Fi is dozing off in her stroller, they come and huddle. They’re like hens and she’s the egg, being smothered.

“Look at the baby!!! Isn’t she cute?” they say, wriggling their hands into our personal stroller space. This of course makes Fi light up, knowing she has once again eluded naptime. Yeah yeah, I know, it’s a tough problem when one has a beautiful baby. But seriously, I can’t be mean and shush them, can I? Plus, they swoop in so fast, I hardly have time to jerk the stroller and run the other way. We need an invisibility cloak.

And don’t even get me started on the construction workers. A cement drill starts up right when I walk by…really? Are you so oblivious to the world around you, trying to be a hard worker, that you can’t notice a BABY IS SLEEPING????

And damn you city bus. Get your breaks fixed…PLEASE. You grind and shriek to a stop on every corner of my neighborhood. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard times 1001. If I were a spitter, I’d wet you down with all the saliva I could muster.

But a mom doesn’t do those things. She doesn’t throw rocks at ambulances, punch old ladies, scream at construction workers and spit on buses. After all, we’re trying to set an example for our children.

And in case I get some mean-awful-nasty comments on this one, please know that as a requirement to read my blog, you must bring a sense of humor.

crying Fi

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