Posts Tagged ‘ moving ’

Feeling Blue

Monday, November 7th, 2011

I just started crying. It came out of nowhere. It was bound to happen. You can’t go through moving your entire family across the country while pregnant, leaving your base of mom friends and a totally different way of living without expecting some sort of emotional toll.

Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to move to LA. I was sick of apartment living, having no yard, strolling everywhere (as in subways, sidewalks, sometimes up to 6 miles a day). New York City is an exhausting place to raise a baby. Now I have a car, a house and a yard. But I feel devoid of my mom posse. Or any sort of routine for me and Fi.

I know it takes time. I know I’m social enough and I will connect with people. I know Fia will get her sleep back under control and we’ll get into our groove. But right now, at this moment, it just feels daunting.

I also realize that since I left home for college 20+ years ago, I’ve never lived in a house for any extended period of time. I’ve always lived in the center of a city. Even if that city was Omaha. Or Sioux Falls. I almost feel like I’m impersonating someone. Is this new lifestyle “me?” At 40+ years old, what if I don’t adjust? I know it sounds crazy, and there are much bigger problems, like world peace and the Eurozone to worry about, but it’s just how I’m feeling at the moment.

I have 3 months to get this all down before the new baby comes. That is plenty of time. And this is my first real day without the chaos of a move or company (my in-laws were here for 10 days and so I had constant daycare and people around me). So I need to go with it.

I have a playdate set up with a mom friend I knew from a few years back. She’s coming over tomorrow with her daughter who is Fia’s age. So hopefully I’ll feel a bit more grounded. But the bottom line: change is hard. But also fun. I am looking forward to feeling the fun part soon.

 

Photo: Woman with Crossed Arms by Picasso.

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Milestone Monday: Sleep Training Revisited?

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Monday as I share Fia’s ongoing milestone (mis)adventures–from potty training to talking to everything in between.  Mayhem and mischief guaranteed on Milestone Monday!

Okay, so I’m a self-declared sleep Nazi. At least I have been since Fia was 4 1/2 months and we did Ferber. Worked like a charm. Got a few hate comments from my blog on it, but I stand resolute. I believe sleep is the best thing for her and myself and I have never backed down. I haven’t had to. She has consistently slept through the night. Until now.

I can attribute it to a few things: a huge move from Brooklyn to LA; having her routine completely uprooted; having my in-laws here the last 10 days showering her with constant attention (which I have no problem with). But in the midst of all the chaos surrounding us, we have lost the sleep. It could also be that this is a milestone regression. I hear that some tots hit a certain age and you have to re-Ferber. She is 23 months now, and I’d say the sleep started to go downhill a month ago.

I have held off on re-training because I wanted us to settle in. And here’s my dirty little secret: when she wakes up at 2 or 3 a.m., the only way to get her down now is to lie with her. In other words, co-sleeping. Gasp! And whereas before, in those early months, I was terrified of rolling onto her and never slept, now I actually cuddle into her warm little body and doze off nicely until 5:45 (which blows, but she goes down at 7 pm, so I can’t expect much better).

When my mother-in-law was here, I could hand her off and go back to bed until 7 or so, feeling rested. Now I don’t have that luxury. And with the new baby on the way, I know I can’t begin co-sleeping. It just isn’t our thing. Sleep is far too important to Phil and me.

I guess my question is: do I start tonight? Or wait another week until we have a little more routine? I fear that the longer I wait, the worse the habit will become–like it is with her pacifier now, which I swear I’m going to get rid of before her two-year old bday next month (that’s another one I’ll be looking for advice on).  Maybe I just dive in tonight??

So for today’s milestone, I feel like I’ve gone backwards a bit and am looking to you all for advice and insight. I have a crib tent that I will put on so that when we do re-Ferber, I won’t worry she’s going to climb out.

 

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A Note To Myself

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Fun Bun on the Run

A Note To Myself:

Well, we’ve arrived.  We’re Californians. At least for now. Leaving my mom squad sucked, but for the time being, I’m so distracted and overwhelmed, I don’t have time to be sad. That will come in a few weeks.

The good stuff:

Our new house is amazing. The owner had the frig stocked as a moving in gift for us.

Fia loves the yard. She ran wild and free. Despite all the obstacles one encounters in a move, I feel in my heart of hearts this was the best decision for our family. I think we’re really going to be happy here.

The stressors:

Our movers delivered all our stuff today. We are living amid of sea of boxes with Fia and Wayne on the loose. I don’t know where to begin. I’ve also never lived in a house. At least as an adult. For the past 20 years it’s always been apartments. I have no clue how to organize a kitchen. I feel inept. Help is on the horizon though, as my in-laws fly here tomorrow. I’ll have hands on help with baby and boxes.

I have no routine right now. For me, that’s a stressor. Especially while pregnant. I have so many little things to do, but I’m also limited in how much I push myself. And I do feel like I’m overdoing it a bit. I know the worst thing that could happen is preterm labor, so I have to force myself to let things go…. to know it will all fall into place.

Besides cable, phone and all that jazz, I need to find a pediatrician, a new OB, a nursery school or part time nanny, a vet, an allergist, etc. I have leads on all these things, but I’m a “to-do” list person. I will only feel better when I can check these things off my list. Especially since I can’t drink. Or take xanax. That would be so helpful.

Okay, that’s it for now. More soon.

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Milestone Monday: Potty Training and Pooping (in the Shower)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Monday as I share Fia’s ongoing milestone (mis)adventures–from potty training to talking to everything in between.  Mayhem and mischief guaranteed on Milestone Monday!

We have progressed on potty training. Fia has moved from pooping on the floor to pooping in the shower. It happened a few days ago.

We were showering and her training potty was right outside the shower door. She lifted her left heel up, as she so daintily does when she’s about to poop, and out came the turds. On our pristine tile.

I threw the door open and grabbed the potty, pulled it in, and was able to catch a few more turds as she proudly plopped them out of her and into the toilet. Is this progress? I’m not sure. But I cheered anyway.  So did the toilet. The music went off and Fia started to wave her arms in a dance. The Happy Poop Dance.

I then screamed for Phil, who came in and cheered too, then helped me clean her and our shower up.

We move next week so this poop party will be put on hold. In the meantime, I must share my friend’s potty training trauma. She may actually need therapy to recover. Here goes:

(more…)

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Sesame Street TV Addiction Broken??

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

We haven’t had television for a week. Internet is about to be disconnected. I feel like Laura Ingalls. Or, since we have running water and electricity, perhaps a better analogy is a squatter. We’ve been camping out in a nearly empty apartment for days now.

The upside to this is without the televison, I think we are starting to break the Sesame Street Addiction. Usually we put her in her high chair to eat and she immediately says “Waatchhh” (heavy emphasis on the “ch”.) I point to the spot where the TV was and say, “Baby, there isn’t a TV there anymore.”  Now Fia runs a tough bargain. She knows I’m telling her the truth, but still doesn’t like it, so she starts to fake wail, as if I’m strangling Ernie before her very eyes. This is where my circus performance kicks in (just wrote about it). I’ll try anything to distract her and I’m finding usually it works. The price I pay is sheer exhaustion from it all. But I think this is good. She can’t always associate eating with Elmo, right?

There was a recent study just published about allowing children under 2 watch TV. The American Academy of Pediatricians has stated that no benefits have been found. Maybe that’s true. Maybe Fia would have learned to count to 12 (in English and Spanish) and recite the ABC song from us reading more books to her. But she has learned those things from her fuzzy furry friends like Elmo and Oscar. And I don’t begrudge them, or myself for it. Sometimes I need a break. Or the easy way out. Call me a weak mom. Or a realistic one.

This doesn’t mean I’m proud of her TV addiction, especially when it comes to mealtimes. But I don’t think I’m causing life long problems either.  Sometimes the path of least resistance makes sense. To a point.

We have to stay in a hotel for a few nights in LA while our house is getting ready. I know she’ll see the tv and try and hold out for Sesame. But I’m going to try my best to stick to my guns. And once we’re in the new house, I plan on feeding her as much as possible outside in her highchair. I am hoping all the scenery that nature provides will trump her favorite furry friends. Stay tuned!

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