Posts Tagged ‘ moving to LA ’

Tubes Tied–or Not?

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

Full disclosure: I’m 42.

Full Disclosure: I sneeze and get pregnant.

THUS:

Full disclosure: After Little Leroy gets plucked out, I am done having babies.

Since I’m having a C-Section, I brought up tubal ligation (getting my tubes tied) to my OB/GYN. He said it takes 90 extra seconds to snip the tubes. It’s the logical time to do it. You have no hormonal side effects. And I wouldn’t’ have to worry about the pill or IUD (done both) ever again.

I filled out the paperwork and signed it, just so they have it on record. But for reasons unknown, I’m hesitant. Not sure why.

For someone who, up until 39, never wanted kids (thank god I saw the light. I seriously can’t imagine not having them now), I don’t know why I wouldn’t jump at this. Baby #2 wasn’t planned (I sneezed), and while I’m really excited for him to come and for Fia to have a sibling, there is no way I’m doing this again. Not at this age. Though even if I were 24 I think I’d stop at 2 kids.

So what’s up with my slight reluctance? Is it because it is so permanent? Or is it the small hippy part of me that thinks I’m giving up some sort of womanpower? I also think about that Jodi Piccoult book, My Sister’s Keeper, where the parents had another child so that they could use her blood to help her sister battle cancer. That’s morbid and not a reason to have another baby. Plus, we are doing the cord blood banking. Did with Fia too.

I don’t know. Anyone want to take a stab at this? Is it just an emotional decision in general? Who has done this? If Phil were getting snipped I wouldn’t think twice, by the way.

Picture of tubes via shutterstock

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Fia Friday: Secret Rock Garden

Friday, January 13th, 2012

What can I say? Fia Rocks. And she loves our “secret rock garden”. Yet another place in this weird house that we’re renting in LA (by weird, I mean very cool with lots of nooks and cranies to explore. It was built in 1928 and was Cecile B. DeMille’s cinematographer’s home). This garden is tucked away off the main yard. It has lots of shade, and, as the name suggests, lots of rocks. She never gets tired of picking them up and depositing them somewhere else. Or having “Mama Hold Them”…. we have lots of little adventures back here.

In the Secret Shady Rock Garden

 

Her Moment of Zen

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Sleep Training: Will It Ever End?

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

Unhappy in Crib

Ugh. Fia is waking up in the night….again. With baby Leroy just 2 weeks away, we gotta figure this out. I can’t have both of them up all night. I’ll lose my mind. Or at least more so than I already will with a newborn.

We sleep-trained her at 4.5 months. From then until this fall (so like 18 months) she was a consistent sleeper: Down at 7, up at 6:30-7. Never woke up in the night.

Then, right when we were packing/moving to LA, she began to wake up in the night. And getting up earlier, like 6:15-6:30. I figured it was all part of the chaos of the move.

But now we’ve been settled here for nearly 4 months, and instead of getting better, she’s regressing. Not only is she now waking up in the night, but she also gets up between 5 and 5:45. For good. Unless. Unless. Unless…we (ack) put her in bed with us. Then she sleeps until 6:30-7. I don’t sleep, but she does.

I have tried cracking the code. We got her this “bunny” alarm clock. When the light on the bottom is on, it shows the bunny sleeping and the moon. When the light on top shines, bunny is awake and the sun is shining. We’ve set it for 6:30 a.m., and explained to her when bunny wakes up, she can wake us up. I really do think she understands. I also think she chooses to ignore.

And now I’m finding that this middle of the night thing is getting out of control. She doesn’t go back down on her own. We have to go in and hold her. Sometimes it’s up to 4 times a night. Add to that, over the weekend she was up at 4:45. For good. I tried to “referber”. Went in at 5 ,10, 15 minute intervals. Can you believe she screamed straight until 6 a.m.?? No tears, just whining/screaming/squawking. Maddening. Phil and I were zombies all day Saturday and Sunday.

I enlisted the help of some of my friends who have all the books on sleep training. I even wrote my old Pediatrician in Brooklyn, Dr. Gold, this weekend asking for her insight/advice. Here is the consensus:

(more…)

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My Nanny=My Wife

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.

I hired a nanny full time. I better hide behind a duck blind to keep from getting shot, given the outrage from my Sitter Chronicles awhile back. i.e: Why aren’t you raising your kids yourself? –was the gist of many comments. But hear me out:

It takes a village right? Well, I am new to LA. I have no village. No family nearby. And I don’t have a ton of close friends yet–or at least friends who don’t have their own lives, jobs, kids to take care of. And even if I did, I wouldn’t burden them with helping me. I just felt like with 2 babies, I’d be a better mom if I didn’t feel constant pressure to be the “only one.” So here’s how it’s shaping up:

Cleo, my nanny, is part time now. She becomes full time once baby Leroy (working title) comes. This isn’t so I can skip off and take tennis lessons (not that there is anything wrong with that, but I’m not a Desperate Housewife). This is so I can pick and choose the quality time to spend with either Fia or Baby. Or by myself. No one wins a medal for carting two kids around all the time. I mean, plenty of people do it. Many out of necessity. I am just incredibly grateful to have the means to hire help. (I often hear, “Well, our parents did it.” I laugh at that. God, if you had known my parents, you’d know that they are not to be put on pedestals for their stellar parenting!)

A little bit about Cleo: She is the wife I always wanted. She sweeps my floors while Fia naps. She cooks for me! As in homemade soups, salads, black beans from scratch….she can look in the fridge and see meals where I see nothing. She brings me afternoon tea if I’m in my office writing. I don’t ask her to do any of this. She is just a nurturer. I am in love.

I found her on a website/listserv out here called Booby Brigade. She had amazing recommendations. When she walked in, Phil and I both knew. She was the one. Like my friend Teresa said: finding a good nanny is harder than finding your spouse. So I feel like I’ve found both.

She’s from El Salvador and is speaking Spanish to Fia, and will to the new baby as well. She raised 5 kids on her own here. Her youngest daughter is 15 and she sometimes brings her with if she’s watching Fia for our date night. Fia loves them both. I feel like they just add a good energy to our house.

I’m hoping that by having her, I’ll handle the newborn phase a little better than I did with Fia. If nothing else, I should be able to take naps and catch up on sleep with a second set of hands. I think this is a great solution for me in terms of juggling a household, a 2-year old, my freelance work, and a newborn.

Any of your pregnant women planning on full time help even if you don’t have a full time job outside of the home? Dare I ask if you think I’m indulgent or smart?

 

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Moving Mid-Pregnancy: Getting Close!

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.

Me and My HUGE Belly

Last night I had stomach cramps. Bad ones. I also just felt “off.” I was thinking maybe labor was imminent. As uncomfortable and miserable as I am right now, I’m like the boy who cried wolf. When it comes down to it, I’m not ready for the new baby. I mean, for god’s sakes: I still have wall decals to put up!! Not to mention a wax to schedule (it’s all about the timing of it, right?) and lexapro to wean off. I’ve started the process with the lexapro, but it will take about 3 weeks to complete.

BTW–I decided to wean off the last few weeks based on the conversation I had with the reproductive psychiatrist (I wrote a blog about this). She said there is a 10-30% chance of the baby having some sort of withdrawal. Just general fussiness, but I think newborns are already ass kicking enough. I want my guy to be happy when he gets pulled out. So I’m going to wean off. I did this same thing with Fia and was glad I did.

I went to my OB today and they put a monitor on to see if I was contracting. Turns out, I wasn’t imagining the stomach tightening. There were a few contractions, though nothing regular. I’m also so thirsty lately. So the doc just told me to go home, hydrate a lot and take it easy. I asked if I could go for hikes still. He said yes, but just not to push it. He wants to keep that baby in as long as possible. I guess I sort of do…. it’s such a catch 22. Being so uncomfortable right now, but also needing more time before baby Leroy rocks our world.

By the way, I do love my new OB out here. He came recommended from a few friends. It wasn’t that hard making the transition from my NYC OB-GYN to this one. I knew I wanted to deliver at Cedars Sinai, even though it’s a bit of trek from our house. It’s kind of the celeb/famous hospital, but the way I looked at it is this: if anything should go wrong, you want to be at the place with the best medical and neonatal care. Especially in my, ahem, AMA (Advanced Maternal Age). And UCLA and Cedars are two of the best.

Also had my iron re-tested today. Hoping the pills and the 8 hamburgers I eat a day help get my levels back up.

More to report but it’s 9:30 pm, which means bedtime. I’ll add more to this tomorrow when Fia’s at preschool. Night night.

Follow up: it’s the next morning. Fia’s at preschool. Right before bed, the cramps got pretty bad. But then once I laid down, they subsided. I ended up sleeping really well. So I guess the doctor knows what he’s talking about when he says to get off your feet. He told me if I lay down and they continue, or become more regular, to let him know. So far so good. I’m going to make a conscious effort to sit more, and nap when Fia naps (I’ve been doing that on and off lately and it makes a huge difference in the rest of my day).

Oh, and we just found out my C-section time got moved up. This is great news. It was scheduled January 25th at 4:30 pm. and you can’t eat for 8 hours prior. I didn’t know how I’d do it. Now we just got in for a 7:30 a.m. C-section. So I can wake up and just go to the hospital. That is, if this baby doesn’t come sooner!

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