Posts Tagged ‘ mom friends ’

When To Start Preschool?

Saturday, August 10th, 2013

Emmett is 18 months. He’s a super active and happy baby. He absolutely loves going to the playground–not only to slide, but to also be around other kids his age. He is definitely a people person. But the thing I’ve found with my second child is that I don’t reach out to moms who have kids his age. I formed my close mom friendships when I had Fia and I actually don’t want to seek out new ones. I love the ones I have. And the person I’m closest with lives nearby. So we always pal around, either with our kids or without.

The other reason I don’t go on more mom playdates with Emmett is I’m often working around both their schedules. She goes to school 3 times a week, so there is pick up and drop off. He naps in the afternoons. On Monday mornings I take Fia to gymnastics. On Wednesday mornings I take Em (this is the class with the neglectful nanny). In other words, I’m juggling too much to have dedicated playdates with Emmett. Plus, this fall it gets even more hectic because Fia is switching to Montessori. Which is a whole other dilemma.

Nevertheless, I have sitters a few days a week for a few hours. When he turns 2, as much as I love my sitters, I think he might enjoy being with kids his own age. Fia’s current preschool allows total flexibility in terms of days and hours. I could enroll him for as few as 2 mornings a week. My pediatrician says she recommends some form of socialization for tots, starting between 18 months and 2 years. Granted, he gets a lot of socialization and stimulation from Fia and her friends. He’s not sitting in a corner all day. But this would be in a semi-structured environment.

It’s a no brainer right? Except, for some ludicrous reason, I have guilt. As in, shouldn’t I be with him? Phil says absolutely not. Do what’s best for him and me. And this is a guy who didn’t go to any preschool– his mom waited until he was 5 for Kindergarten. He’s perfectly social and well adjusted. (Well, sort of.) But I think it was a different time back then. I think there were more stay-at-home moms and preschool was more like daycare. Because the reality is, I’m not with Em every hour of every day anyway. And the reality is he would enjoy it. And I would get my breather.

I guess it’s the perception I’m worried about.  I felt judged when I enrolled Fia at 2 years old for 2 mornings a week (though I was hugely pregnant so that alone should have given me a free pass). Judgment by whom, I’m not sure. I just remember over-explaining it to anyone who asked. Which is also stupid since I generally don’t give a sh-t what others think of me.

At any rate, I’m curious to hear from the moms–especially those like me who don’t work full time outside the house, but need a break a few times a week. At this age, do you prefer sitters or preschool? And why?  Pros? Cons? Fill me in.

 

 

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Do Toddlers Have Memories?

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

BestFriends: Reunited

From almost birth, Fia spent the first 18 months with her friend Teddy. I wrote about how Courtney (Teddy’s mom) and I first connected back in Brooklyn, bonding over tortured writer husbands, sleep deprivation, and baby barf.  When I moved to LA, she was the only person I cried over when saying goodbye.

Fast forward to July. In a crazy twist of fate, Courtney’s husband’s TV show got picked up and they moved to LA. I couldn’t believe my luck. Naturally, they found a house 2 miles away from us. Teddy will go to Fia’s preschool. Courtney’s main priority was being close to me.  We are now seasoned screenwriter wives (Courtney is basically a “TV widow”) and know what the long hours entail.

Side note: We joke that it’s like being married to the Secretary of State. They can be called at all hours and often have to hop on planes or go into a studio at a moments notice. In fact, I never even wrote about this, but Phil had to leave me a day after Emmett was born and crank out a script for 2 days with a figurative gun to his head.  That’s one of the reasons we didn’t have a name for so long. It’s not world peace on the line, but in Hollywood they think it is. Or at least the drama seems just as great.

Anyway, back to memory. Courtney and I wondered if our babies—now toddlers—would remember each other. A third of their life had passed since they had been together.

I told Fia that Teddy was coming over. I asked if she remembered him.  “Yes, and Courtney too,” she said.  I wondered if that was just a good guess? Or if she had heard me saying Courtney’s name?

She was so excited about Teddy’s arrival she sat on the front steps waiting for him.  Out of the car he came. They ran up to each other and hugged. I swear it was a scene from “Sweet Home Alabama,” where Reese Witherspoon sees her childhood love Josh Lucas. That is, if Reese and Josh were toddlers.

It really did seem like Fia and Teddy remembered each other. Is that possible? They’ve been apart from 18 months to 2 years 7 months. According to an article in Parents, the answer is yes and no. And gets too complex for this blog, though it’s interesting, like, ie.. left-handers seem to remember earlier than right-handers.

On a non-scientific note though, this got me thinking what my earliest memory is/was. I have fuzzy/hazy memories of scenes. And I remember distinctly at the age of 7 having a near nervous breakdown when I thought a snapping turtle was after me in a lake. But specific memories? Not so much.

Do any of you have a memory bank back to those toddler years? I know the first few years shape us immensely. Knowing you were safe and loved are factors that affect you the rest of your life. But the memories themselves seem hard to conjure up. At least for me. Will be curious on your thoughts.

At Preschool Together

 

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Fia Friday: Thanksgiving In LA

Friday, November 25th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Friday for a dose of cuteness as I share snapshots of Fia.  Adorable photos are guaranteed on Fia Friday!

Had a great Thanksgiving. My two girlfriends came over to help me cook, plus other friends came to eat. We had about 10 people in our new house. Was so much fun to entertain. Here’s the gist of the day:

hiking, exercise, pregnant

While Turkey Cooked, We Hiked

Griffith Park is Right Outside Our Door

 

Fia played with her “older girlfriend” Aggie….

Fia Loves Playing W/ Big Girls

Then Turkey Time!

Turkey Time for Ms Fi

We Are Ready for the Feast

Before bedtime, Fia and Daddy play piano….

Finally, mama relaxes…..

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What a Difference a Week Makes

Friday, November 11th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Friday for a dose of cuteness as I share snapshots of Fia.  Adorable photos are guaranteed on Fia Friday!

On Monday I cried. On Tuesday I had a mom date. On Wednesday night I mourned–but this time for the victims affected by my alma mater, Penn State. Today I am getting my feet on the ground. Finally.

Since Monday when I felt so overwhelmed by the move, the lack of mom friends, Fia’s sleep issues and lack of childcare for Fia, a few things have fallen into place.

First: the pre-nursery school. I found an amazing one called Segray. The woman who runs it, Annette, is all about keeping things simple. She wants to teach the kids gardening, and using recycled materials. She’s not about fancy toys. She doesn’t like chaos. Her program is 9-noon, and I’ve enrolled Fia two days a week. Today was her first day and she loved it. I put her in pigtails for the first time, though I need more practice. They look like a seesaw on her head, though here you just see one side.

First Day of Pre-Nursery

Tuesday was my mom date. A friend from when I was out here for a few months in 2010 came over. Her daughter is also Fia’s age and we all hit it right off. Another wave of relief. We are going on another date next week.

What’s not resolved is the sleep issue. And my anger at the crib tent. Click here for details.

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A Note To Myself

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Fun Bun on the Run

A Note To Myself:

Well, we’ve arrived.  We’re Californians. At least for now. Leaving my mom squad sucked, but for the time being, I’m so distracted and overwhelmed, I don’t have time to be sad. That will come in a few weeks.

The good stuff:

Our new house is amazing. The owner had the frig stocked as a moving in gift for us.

Fia loves the yard. She ran wild and free. Despite all the obstacles one encounters in a move, I feel in my heart of hearts this was the best decision for our family. I think we’re really going to be happy here.

The stressors:

Our movers delivered all our stuff today. We are living amid of sea of boxes with Fia and Wayne on the loose. I don’t know where to begin. I’ve also never lived in a house. At least as an adult. For the past 20 years it’s always been apartments. I have no clue how to organize a kitchen. I feel inept. Help is on the horizon though, as my in-laws fly here tomorrow. I’ll have hands on help with baby and boxes.

I have no routine right now. For me, that’s a stressor. Especially while pregnant. I have so many little things to do, but I’m also limited in how much I push myself. And I do feel like I’m overdoing it a bit. I know the worst thing that could happen is preterm labor, so I have to force myself to let things go…. to know it will all fall into place.

Besides cable, phone and all that jazz, I need to find a pediatrician, a new OB, a nursery school or part time nanny, a vet, an allergist, etc. I have leads on all these things, but I’m a “to-do” list person. I will only feel better when I can check these things off my list. Especially since I can’t drink. Or take xanax. That would be so helpful.

Okay, that’s it for now. More soon.

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