Monday, November 7th, 2011
I just started crying. It came out of nowhere. It was bound to happen. You can’t go through moving your entire family across the country while pregnant, leaving your base of mom friends and a totally different way of living without expecting some sort of emotional toll.
Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to move to LA. I was sick of apartment living, having no yard, strolling everywhere (as in subways, sidewalks, sometimes up to 6 miles a day). New York City is an exhausting place to raise a baby. Now I have a car, a house and a yard. But I feel devoid of my mom posse. Or any sort of routine for me and Fi.
I know it takes time. I know I’m social enough and I will connect with people. I know Fia will get her sleep back under control and we’ll get into our groove. But right now, at this moment, it just feels daunting.
I also realize that since I left home for college 20+ years ago, I’ve never lived in a house for any extended period of time. I’ve always lived in the center of a city. Even if that city was Omaha. Or Sioux Falls. I almost feel like I’m impersonating someone. Is this new lifestyle “me?” At 40+ years old, what if I don’t adjust? I know it sounds crazy, and there are much bigger problems, like world peace and the Eurozone to worry about, but it’s just how I’m feeling at the moment.
I have 3 months to get this all down before the new baby comes. That is plenty of time. And this is my first real day without the chaos of a move or company (my in-laws were here for 10 days and so I had constant daycare and people around me). So I need to go with it.
I have a playdate set up with a mom friend I knew from a few years back. She’s coming over tomorrow with her daughter who is Fia’s age. So hopefully I’ll feel a bit more grounded. But the bottom line: change is hard. But also fun. I am looking forward to feeling the fun part soon.
Photo: Woman with Crossed Arms by Picasso.
Categories: Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations, Must Read | Tags: a car, a yard, emotional, emotions, house, living in a house, moving, moving to LA, new baby, playdate, pregnancy, pregnant
Monday, September 26th, 2011
We'll Have The Beach! And Warm Weather!
So big news on our end: We’re moving to LA. In a few weeks. I’ve known for a while but just haven’t wanted to deal. It’s not that I’m not excited about it. The idea of a HOUSE, a YARD, even maybe a POOL makes me giddy (though nothing is yet in place, which is nerve-wracking). But leaving my beloved Brooklyn is going to be tough. We decided to make the move for several reasons, with Little Leroy (working title) solidifying the deal.
When I got pregnant and found out my due date was the end of January, we groaned. Good god, not another winter cooped up in a Brooklyn apartment with a newborn. Not to mention our pad is a landmine. It’s a loft with 28-foot ceilings, which means upstairs Fia could climb over the ledge and drop at least 20 feet. Even with all the baby-proofing, it’s just not set up for a toddler, much less two of them.
Phil is always flying back and forth to LA with his career as a screenwriter. It drives us both crazy. For example, here is our latest scenario: he flew to LA today, takes a redeye home on Friday, then next Monday he flies back, has a 10:00 a.m. meeting on Tuesday and comes home that night. It’s getting a tad absurd.
Our phone rings regularly at 10 pm, usually bringing some sort of drama. The 3-hour time change is a relaxation killer.
He works from home. In the open loft, we have completely blurred the boundaries between his working hours and playing hours. I walk in the door and Fia beelines to him, even if he’s on the phone (his office is in her eye line. Impossible to prevent). I dash after her as fast as I can, but once she sees him it’s all over. She is very attached to her Daddy and if he doesn’t come out and hold her/play with her, a crying fit ensues. Doesn’t make for a great business call. Then I get the glare. I in turn get pissy, and so it goes.
I actually think living in LA in a spacious house, with a separate office for him and a time zone that matches the industry he’s in is going to really simplify our lives. But here’s where I get sad… click here to continue reading.
Categories: Have Baby, Will Travel, Mom Situations, Moving to Los Angeles, Must Read | Tags: beach, Brooklyn, Brooklyn Babies, house, LA, movies, moving, moving to LA, moving to los angeles, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, space, television, weather, yard