Sunday, October 16th, 2011
I have become a circus performer. Ever since I wrote a few days ago about Fia’s finicky eating, I have taken in your comments like a sponge. My best luck from your tips so far has been the art of distraction. It is exhausting. I dance. I sing. I bark like a dog, moo like a cow, chirp like a bird. I ask her to color. To rip up paper. To bok like a chicken in her highchair. All the while, I shove the food in her mouth. I move from one distraction to another about every 2 minutes. Because it’s about then that she says “All Done.” And I don’t believe her. Usually I’m right. A new distraction gets a new round of eating. I sweat. I go on all fours. I jump. But, it’s working.
Our kitchen has been shipped to LA so we have little to cook with. So the other day I took her to a restaurant. There, since I was a bit embarrassed to hop on one foot like a monkey, I distracted her for 20 minutes with a squirt bottle of hand sanitizer. She kept saying more, I’d squirt, she’d rub her hands together, I’d shove food in her mouth, she’d ask for another squirt. Granted it was the alcohol-free kind, but I kid you not, I went through about 300 squirts. Probably got at least that many calories in her stomach. And lord knows, she had the cleanest hands in Brooklyn. I think I’ll get a water bottle next time and pretend it’s sanitizer.
My resume is going to get updated this weekend. The first line will say Animal Imitator/Circus Performer. Hopefully in a few months, she’ll just eat on her own and I can take that line off. But for now, I’m going to embrace the 3-ring circus that is fast becoming my life. (Wayne being the 3rd ring, as he hungrily eats her crumbs).Add a Comment