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Wednesday, January 8th, 2014
My good friend Courtney is pregnant. When I was pregnant with Emmett, Fia was only 2 years old, so she didn’t really “get” what it all meant. In fact, the first time Fia came to the hospital and saw Emmett, she looked like she had been hit by a bus. Bewildered would be an understatement.
Now she’s 4 and can actually grasp the concept (perhaps too much) that her best friend Teddy is going to have a sister. The other night we were lying in bed. Here’s how the conversation went:
“Mom, how did the baby get in Courtney’s belly?”
“Well, Courtney and Brian and God (threw that in on the fly) made the baby,” I said.
“Mom, I know that,” Fia replied indignantly. “I mean, how did the baby actually get IN the belly?”
“Um, well, it’s hard to explain,” I stammered.
“Why is it hard to explain?” she persisted.
“It just is,” I said, hoping to change the subject.
“Well then how does the baby get out?”
Oh dear. My brain was being taxed on this one.
“Courtney pushes it out of her belly,” I said matter-of-factly. Then held my breath.
“She pushes it out???” Fia says quizzically. “Where does it come out?”
“Of her stomach,” I replied, knowing this conversation wasn’t getting any easier.
“But there isn’t a hole in her stomach!! Silly Mama,” she says.
At this point baby was put in a corner. As was I.
I had the choice to make something up–like the baby comes out of her bellybutton–or, try harder to change the subject, or explain all about Courtney’s vagina. The latter of which frankly felt a little weird.
I told her it was bedtime and we would talk about it another day. I think she was tired of not getting answers, so she let it go. For now.
I want to be as open as possible with my children. We don’t call her body parts a “lady bit” “minnie” or “vajayjay”. We don’t call Em’s a “willy” or a “wee wee.” We use vagina and penis. At first that felt strange to me. But in researching, they say it’s best to use the clinical name, for various reasons. One is to help prevent your child falling victim to a sexual predator. It indicates to these criminals that your child is comfortable with openly talking about their body parts, including sexual parts.
So when Fia was asking about Courtney’s future baby taking a trip down the canal, it’s not that I didn’t want to use the word vagina. It was more because I suspect it’s a hard-to-imagine concept. I didn’t want her to get freaked out by the power of the vag or start obsessing about how something other than pee could come out of it. Maybe I’m wrong on this. But you tell me. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the subject comes up again. I need to get my birthing bullet points in order.
How tall will your little one be? Take our Height Predictor Quiz and find out.
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birth canal, c-section, child birth, child predator, lady bits, penis, pregnancy, sex talk, vagina, vaginal birth, vajayjay, wee wee, willy | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Milestone Monday, Mom Situations, Mom Tricks and Tips, Moving Mid Pregnancy, Moving to Los Angeles, Newborn Care
Monday, March 12th, 2012
I may switch careers and become an OB/GYN. Because I think I just took Fia through labor and delivery. Last week I wrote about our impasse on the poop. She wants to “poop in the potty”–and has a few times–but then gets nervous about it. She went three days talking about poop and holding her hand on her butt without producing anything. We are trying not to pressure her, but it can’t feel good (or be good for you) to hold it in like that. On the third morning, as she continued to say, “No poop-poos” (which means the opposite), I took her for the 105th time to the toilet. This time I got down on my knees and told her to hug me and push really really hard. Which she did. Then, without any plop, she declared for the 106th time, “All done.”
Thing is, I could (and yes, this is going to get gross) smell it. So I turned her around and saw the poop descending out of her butt crack. I threw her back on the toilet and harkened back to being in labor. “Fia, I can see it! It’s coming! You have to keep pushing,” I shouted. (Of course in my labor with Fia, she never came out the hole and we had to C-section). “It’s coming,” she cried back. “Yes, it’s coming!” I reiterated, while looking back again into her butthole. The only word I didn’t use was “crowning” as I feared she’d go to preschool saying she crowned a poop. Then I’d have a lot of explaining to do.
So there we sat, Fia laboring her poop, me coaching her, until finally out came… tada: one little pebble. No f–king way. That’s like birthing the pinky finger and the rest of the baby is still in the canal. So once again, I turned her around and saw a bunch more. Thus, the coaching began in earnest until–out it came. Lots of it. She was so visibly relieved. I felt this bonding moment–like we birthed a baby together. In many ways we did. Just not one you want to keep.
We wiped her up, did the “happy poop dance” and put on a pull-up. She proceeded to poop 4 more times that day–in her diaper. Not that I cared. And for the past couple days it’s been hit or miss. But we’re getting there. I realize the sh-t is exhausting!
Potty Pic via Shutterstock
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birthing, c-section, crowning, delivery, labor, milestone monday, poop, potty training | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations, Mom Tricks and Tips, Must Read
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
Emmett's First Days
I have a son. Wow, that’s fun to say. And here I was worried about changing diapers with a penis underneath. So far I’ve been peed on twice and haven’t minded a bit. Emmett is so cute and cuddly–as I guess most newborns are. So where to begin?
The hospital stay, while not a spa, was nicer than Columbia Presbyterian in NYC. And this time around, I decided to have Emmett sleep in the nursery all 4 nights. With Fia I was terrified of letting her out of my sight, yet at the same time, terrified I’d screw up in doing anything. I think most of us new moms can relate.
I have a major obsession with my sleep. When I don’t get a solid chunk, I start to disintegrate. With Fia, I lost my marbles right out the gate, since it was a 36-hour labor followed by a C-section. With Emmett, I decided to stay ahead of the sleep curve and the pain curve. That meant getting 6-7 solid hours a night in the hospital (well, maybe 5, then 3 more. The nurses would laugh when they’d see me making my rounds at 2:30 a.m. to check on my little dude) and taking pain meds. It has made a huge difference in my mental state. If only my physical one could match it….
I’m finding recovery really hard. Everyone says a scheduled C is so much easier. And to some extent it is. However, I took “easier” to mean that I was basically going in for a flu shot and getting a baby in return. Um, slight miscalculation on my part.
After the surgery, I bled a lot. I was already anemic going in. So that didn’t help matters. I was really really sore too–more so than I expected. Again, thinking it was as simple as a shot.
Taking it easy at home is really hard for my type-A personality. My in-laws are here to help which has been great. But I’m a clean freak and I still feel the need to keep things organized, clutter free and crumb-free (there are constant crumbs on the counter, the floor, etc. That’s what my friend is having me try homeopathy for–to lessen the obsession.) Maybe I’m extra obsessed right now because it’s the only part of my life I can control. So in trying to do that, I’ve also had a few setbacks–the first day and a half I did too much. I ended up feeling dizzy and short of breath. Which put me back in bed. The crumbs and mess around the house were driving me crazy. But in the end, the crumbs can wait–they’ll have to.
Much more to write about. Baby’s first doc visit, the transition with Fia, breastfeeding issues, our decision on circumcision–to name a few. So more to come! Thanks again for all the well wishes.
Here’s a picture from the study in which I write this. He is sleeping in his swing… life is good.
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Sweet Dreams My Boy
baby, c-section, cleaning, cleaning issues, delivery, labor, newborn, pregnancy, pregnant, recovery, sleep, sleep deprivation | Categories:
Mom Situations, Must Read, Newborn Care
Sunday, January 29th, 2012
Fia With Her Baby Brother
Well, even though “Baby Boy No Name” sounds like that of a great Sioux Warrior (as my cousin pointed out), we decided he needed a real name. So with less than 12 hours to go before we got kicked out of the hospital, we got one! And it’s not even close to any of the options I blogged about, or the ones Paula blogged about. We scrapped the whole list and started over once we met him.
Introducing…EMMETT REDMOND JOHNSTON.
- Redmond was Phil’s beloved Grandfather’s name. Emmett we thought described his already elfish-mischievous-seeming personality. He even has one ear that is pointy…like a leprechaun. Lots of nickname opportunities: from Mr. E, to Emm, to Red and beyond.
- Emmett also means hard working and strong, so I’m hoping he’ll help me vacuum by the time he’s 6 months (since I have major cleaning obsessions).
- Emmett was born in the Year of the Dragon, which is the luckiest year of the Chinese Zodiac. And he’s an Aquarius, so he has a shot at growing up to be a humanitarian (a known trait of that sign).
All is great here. Heading home in a few hours. Thanks for all your well wishes. – Jill and family
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baby, bottle-feeding, breastfeeding, c-section, choosing a name, Emmett, labor, newborn, nursing, pregnancy, pregnant | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Must Read, Newborn Care
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
Editor’s Note: Jill Cordes gave birth to a baby boy (her second child) on Wednesday, January 25, 2011 via c-section. While Jill rests at the hospital, please join us in welcoming her new bundle of joy! After her blogging hiatus, she will reveal the name of her new baby. Congratulations, Jill, Phil, and Fia!!!
“All good. 8 lbs. 2 oz.” (sent by Jill at 1:43 pm EST)
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