Posts Tagged ‘ baby napping ’

Irrational Mom Anger Part 2

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Last week I wrote about my irrational anger at everyday noises. Anything that stands in the way of Fia’s nap sets me off. So I came up with a solution. She now naps  in our downstairs bathroom–in her stroller. It’s the only dark windowless room in our house. I turn on the ventilation fan, strap her in, and boom, she’s out within seconds. I can get anywhere from 1-3 hours.

I bank on this time. It’s how I get stuff done.

So it came with extreme irritation and fury when just 30 minutes into her nap Phil came downstairs and yanked open the bathroom door. I was on the phone and mouthed the biggest WTF???? my lips would do, throwing my arm in the air with exasperation. He of all people knows better. He mouthed something angrily back. I hung up my call to the sound of a cry.

?!$#?&%! YOU WOKE HER UP! I shouted, ready to spit I was so pissed.

“IT SMELLS LIKE NATURAL GAS IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM!!!” (which is right above the one she naps in) he yelled back, as he gently picked her out of the stroller with a hug. “I WAS MAKING SURE IT WASN’T DOWN HERE!!”  We sounded like the Costanza’s.

Seething, I stormed past them both, went upstairs, and boom the smell hit me like a dozen rotten eggs. It was one of those moments where I knew he was right. And should be touched by his protective nature. For god’s sakes…you don’t mess with gas. It can kill.

Yet, somewhere inside, a voice was still saying, “But did you have to open the bathroom door so loudly??”

I sulked downstairs, knowing my to-do list would stay to-do. I couldn’t bring myself to apologize. I was still fuming. “I’ll call the management company,” I said tersely.

They told us to put a fan in the upstairs bathroom and call them back in 45 minutes if the smell persisted. (Great advice by the way. Seriously?)

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My Baby Naps in Bathroom

Monday, July 18th, 2011

My baby sleeps in the bathroom. It’s perhaps my best trick of motherhood. But before the sleep Nazis get all over me, let me smugly clarify: she goes down like an angel for 12 hours in her crib at night. Ferber is a genius. With naps though, his methods fall short for me. And Fi.

For months I’d get anywhere from 29-31 minutes, at most twice a day, in the crib. Hardly enough time to wash a dish, pet the cat or write a blog. Our Brooklyn apartment is very loft-like and her room and the downstairs bathroom are the quietest places in the house. But the bathroom has something her bedroom doesn’t: total darkness (if I make her room dark, I can’t run the a/c window unit).

I happened upon my baby-in-the-bathroom trick when a guy was coming over to install a safety gate (this, after my husband threw his drill across the room in frustration, proclaiming KidCo had “ruined his day.”) I knew the handy man would be pounding near her bedroom. Desperately I tried to think of where to put her.

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Irrational Mom Anger

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

I have irrational anger. And I’m not a completely irrational person, nor am I particularly angry. But in my mommy life, I have found the mundane to be maddening.

For example: sirens. I live in New York City. They’re expected, right? But what about after 45 minutes of strolling when Fia FINALLY succumbs to sleep? It happens constantly: an obnoxious siren wails by. Probably to save someone’s life. But damn it, it interrupted her REM and now I’ve lost the nap. Great. Thanks a lot.

ambulance

Then there’s the old ladies, the maternal grandma types. Revered and respected. And yet, I find myself wanting to pull out duct tape and handcuffs. Just as Fi is dozing off in her stroller, they come and huddle. They’re like hens and she’s the egg, being smothered.

“Look at the baby!!! Isn’t she cute?” they say, wriggling their hands into our personal stroller space. This of course makes Fi light up, knowing she has once again eluded naptime. Yeah yeah, I know, it’s a tough problem when one has a beautiful baby. But seriously, I can’t be mean and shush them, can I? Plus, they swoop in so fast, I hardly have time to jerk the stroller and run the other way. We need an invisibility cloak.

And don’t even get me started on the construction workers. A cement drill starts up right when I walk by…really? Are you so oblivious to the world around you, trying to be a hard worker, that you can’t notice a BABY IS SLEEPING????

And damn you city bus. Get your breaks fixed…PLEASE. You grind and shriek to a stop on every corner of my neighborhood. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard times 1001. If I were a spitter, I’d wet you down with all the saliva I could muster.

But a mom doesn’t do those things. She doesn’t throw rocks at ambulances, punch old ladies, scream at construction workers and spit on buses. After all, we’re trying to set an example for our children.

And in case I get some mean-awful-nasty comments on this one, please know that as a requirement to read my blog, you must bring a sense of humor.

crying Fi

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