The Failure Hour: A Must For Every Mom

I may have come up with my most brilliant idea yet. At the end of the day, between 4:30-6, my mental state falls apart. I am exhausted from schlepping in 100-degree heat, working on my lack-of-career, “pretend play” (read my rant), changing diapers, begging Fia to eat one more piece of turkey, telling Wayne to stop eating her piece of turkey, and on and on and on.

But as all you moms know, the day is far from over. In some ways, the hardest part is setting in.  The dreaded dinner hour (what to make? I have no food), the bath (“No shampoo mama. I don’t want it! No!!!”), and book time.

Sidenote: has anyone tried “reading” Good Dog, Carl to their toddler? Yes, let’s show our child how to fall out of the crib, open a refrigerator, choke on food, poison a dog with chocolate, maim themselves in a laundry shoot, and drown in a fish tank. All without words. It is a hopelessly exhausting book. Not to mention full of stupid ideas.

In short, by this time of the day, I feel like a failure. I’ve failed as a wife (messy house, sh-tty dinner), a mom (Benign Neglect + 2 hours of Sesame Street/Super Why/Sid the Science Kid), and as a person (I swear running shoes, I’ll workout tomorrow).

What better way to get over it than celebrate! Introducing: The Failure Hour.

Bring the babies! Bring the wine! Let’s embrace inadequacy!

The pressure is so great on being the perfect mom, wife, blah blah, we may as well benefit from failing on all fronts.

A couple times a week at the allotted hour, we moms gather at my house, drink wine, and watch our kids get even filthier. Sometimes we feed them dinner; so at least one thing is checked off our evening list. As the sun sets and we sit around laughing, the rest of the night seems so much more manageable. Even bearable.

Maybe I’ll make this a national organization. Let me know if you’re game to start a chapter in your area. It’s easy. BYOB (Bring Your Own Baby–and bottle. Of wine, that is).

Founding Members of The Failure Hour

Occasionally a husband or two will join in. But they have to have at least one kid in arms to participate.

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    On October 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    That is a fantastic idea! I think moms were saner back in the day because they were all in it together. Being a mom is just hell on the ego, isn’t it?

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  18. [...] like the right thing to do. It gives me the energy to push forward. That’s why I started The Failure Hour. I am well overdue to have one at my [...]

  19. by The Evening Mom Blahs | Fearless Feisty Mama

    On February 27, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    [...] and the kids are typically at their worst, my mentality starts to shrivel. It’s why I founded The Failure Hour 2 years ago, but have been a terrible president as of late. My backyard has remained devoid of [...]

  20. [...] folks, this was my week. The Failure Hour is in full force. If you don’t have one in your neighborhood, start one. It’s called [...]

  21. [...] working moms have to feel guilty for making their children fat? Please. Everyone read my post on The Failure Hour. I now have another reason to celebrate my inadequacy as a [...]