My Boobs Are Taking A Hit! Ouch!

I had no idea my boobs would stir up such controversy. Maybe I’ll get implants next. In lieu of all this, I decided to just let Fia, my 2 1/2 year old, take over feeding Emmett the bottle, while I lay drunk, passed out on the couch. Plus, this way neither Phil nor I have to parent. But wait; will I still be called “lazy” for putting my toddler in charge? Maybe…

I’m referring to my post, Why the Boob Rocks. Most people who commented (particularly on the Facebook link) “got” that it was a humorous article on getting the most bang for your, well, breast. As in, use it to your advantage when you can. Why not? You can’t be called neglectful (though I was actually) for feeding your infant while your husband feeds your toddler. You can’t be called selfish (though I was. Hmm) for having some alone time with your infant–helping him survive, ie: eat--while your husband deals with the household. And god forbid you have a glass of wine while doing all this feeding nonsense. That set off a sh-tstorm.

Here are a couple favorites:

(#1) “That’s sick is about all I can say. Drinking while feeding your child. Being lazy while the man does all the work.”

(#2) “I have 2 under two and have nursed and bottle fed. it sounds like she is finding an excuse to ignore the daughter. drinking while nursing? wtf? yes, it would take some time before the alcohol entered the breast milk but nonetheless you are promoting a dangerous habit. Just because you “can” drink does not mean you should. Think about all the young and new mothers that are reading this article for advice and do not know how to “safely” consume alcohol while nursing (I personally would never risk drinking and nursing despite what research says). This is an irresponsible article that is not helpful to parents with kids close in age.”

(#3) “I am all for breastfeeding, i breastfed my son for a year..but to disregard your other child completely and use nursing as an excuse not to interact with your child. Disgusts me!”

Yup (#3), that’s exactly what I do. Fia who?

Here is my rebuttal:

For all the teetotalers out there–RELAX! I’m not getting sh-t faced and nursing my child. If you drink a glass of wine while feeding them, by the time it gets into your breastmilk–filtered by Mother Nature– Hello!–they are done feeding. As some of the more reasonable commentor’s pointed out,  doctors/pediatricians/lactation consultants all say it’s fine in moderation. And drinking a glass is moderation. I would go as far to say 2 glasses, but I’m afraid I’ll have to don a bulletproof vest. LA is too hot for that.

I think it’s amazing that my husband is not only able–but also WILLING to be a team in parenthood. I’m selfish because I want to nurse my child and let’s see–maybe enjoy it? While he gets time with our toddler? That’s whacked. I think the moms who viewed it this way must be martyrs, humorless or both. Why else would you be so negative?

A few brought up drinking wine with Emmett’s reflux issues. It’s a legitimate point and I thank you for your concern. Here’s why it’s not part of his barf equation:

If you boob feed a baby at say 6 pm, take a few sips of wine, finish the feed, finish the wine, then don’t feed him for another 6 hours (as it’s in the night now, and he is going longer stretches) he isn’t getting any alcohol. Plus, let’s not forget breastmilk is a filter. Many of you aren’t giving Mother Nature the credit she deserves. But just to be cautious, I time it strategically. If on occasion I have more than one glass within a feed time, then I give him a bottle of pre-pumped breast milk. (Fia will now be taking over that duty.)

The other thing: his reflux is most extreme during the early morning feed. I promise I’m not downing Bloody Mary’s. So these theories that I’m harming my baby with a glass of wine are simply unfounded and silly. Moms, lighten up! Enjoy yourselves! However that may be…

I think Time Magazine missed the boat on breast feeding your 3-year old. They should have had the mom holding a wine glass in this incredibly disturbing cover picture. But I’m not touching that one! At least not yet.

Yikes!!

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  1. by Chrissy

    On May 10, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Oh. My. God. I just can’t believe the extent to which some parents will go to make other parents feel like shit! I was cracking up reading your post from a day or two ago, and now I’m practically crying and peeing my pants (well, I’m pregnant, so that may have something to do with it) reading this one.
    Props to you for doing what you do. Parenting… as rewarding as it can be, can be hard as balls. Sometimes you need alcohol – LOTS of it, and I fully support that, yes, even while nursing, though my drink of choice is beer… a nice cold lager to top of the day with babe on the boob.
    Keep it coming!!!

  2. by Leslie

    On May 11, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    Wow, I’m shocked. I enjoyed your article and you’re clearly a great mother to BOTH of your children. Lighten up people! Why should all parenting responsibilities fall to the mother? Breast feeding isnt exactly easy, either!

  3. by Cassia

    On May 13, 2012 at 7:11 am

    1. You said a glass of wine…not the bottle or the entire box. 2. You never said you neglected or ignored your daughter. People will judge no matter what you do.

    I drank 1/2 a bottle of beer when I was pregnant…dr said it was fine, & I’d steal sips of my husband’s every so often. No, I didn’t down a bottle of Jack.

    I’ve been a nursing fool! I demand feed my baby of 2 mos. & he’s growing like a weed. My almost 6 yr old loves to help. My mother loves to help & my husband realizes that going to work is a hell of a lot easier than it is to be home! He has been awesome…laundry, dishes & even cooking. (Not to mention, he is the better cook in the house).

    I thought it took 2 people to make a baby, then why shouldn’t it take 2 people to raise & take care of the baby (& other children)?

    Some women just want to be martyrs. The “do everything by yourself kind of person”. Most just want the attention for doing “everything.” (They must be wonderful). I wonder if they have a special badge or a tiara. Me, I’m just a mom. My husband is a dad.

    After medical complications with my 1st, I’ve learned a lot. I’m resting. If someone wants to scrub my toilets, I let them. If a friend wants to take my daughter to the park, I let them.

    I’m not super-mom & I don’t pretend to be. So all you “Super-Moms” out there, get off the pedestal you’ve put yourself on, take off your cape (Have you seen “Incredibles”?) and quit *itching about how perfect you are (not).

    :)

  4. by Jill Cordes

    On May 14, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Thanks ladies for all the positive comments. Yeah, I was pretty surprised by the storm of negativity. But I did post a positive one using the more positive comments yesterday. Hope you all had a Happy Mother’s Day! Cheers! (clink). jill

  5. by Angel-lena

    On May 16, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    LOL, you just make me laugh so often! I can’t understand why so many mothers tend to equate being a mother with the inability to be anything else. Yes, I’m a mom of two, but I’m still ME! And the ones who act like the dad shouldn’t step in and care for their own children….. I feel sorry for them and keep thinking, ‘Wow, they must have married some real jerks who have no interest in being Dads’. Just sad. It also strikes me just how misinformed people are. Kudos to you for doing your own thing.

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