Why the Boob Rocks

My boobs have become a secret weapon in survival. And not just because they feed my child.

When Fia came, it was all me all the time. I was drowning in her barf and tortured from lack of sleep. I became resentful that everything was put on me, even though yes, I am the mom.

Flash forward to Emmett. I am the picture of calm. That’s not an adjective you would typically use to describe me. But between hypnotherapy and the beauty of the boob, it’s a totally different scenario the second time around. Phil on the other hand seems to have postpartum frustration. He stomps around; I sit in lotus. He’s angry; I meditate. Here’s what shifted:

Fia’s melting down at dinnertime? Sorry honey, I gotta go feed Emmett.

Fia’s awake at 5:51 every morning? Sorry honey, Emmett’s hungry.

When you have the second baby, the parenting of the toddler falls more on the dad. Or at least in our house. I’m not kidding when I say that I get an extra hour-plus of sleep every morning because of this. AN HOUR. PLUS. Do you understand what that means? That’s like winning the lottery every day. I lay in bed with my little man as he nurses and we drift off to sleep. It’s heaven.

Cut to Phil downstairs with Fia screaming for Elmo, spilling orange juice and crying for eggs (Phil hates eggs and can’t make them. He claims he will barf. And we have enough barfing in our family with Em’s reflux).

At around 7 or 7:30 (the latter if I’m feeling greedy), I serenely float down and take over. Phil goes back to bed for an hour. I cook eggs, clean up the OJ and read the paper. I hold Emmett and Fia watches Sesame. Or we all play. It’s great. And to be fair, Phil wakes back up refreshed. Don’t feel too sorry for him–I’m not killing the guy.

At night, as Phil is trying to get Fia to eat, I’m sitting in the living room, a glass of wine in hand, watching the news, nursing my boy. Ahhhh… this is the life!

I’m lucky to have such a hands-on husband. I don’t know what I would do if he weren’t. But I wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t look at our relationship as a partnership of equals. I will admit that the scale is tipping a bit more in my favor lately.  I’m taking it–guilt free. I carried these babies for 10 months. I endured another c-section. And I know that eventually everything circles back to the mom. This is a temporary reprieve.

When Emmett’s reflux started to increase last week I panicked. Not only because I want to breastfeed him for health reasons, but for my own personal Zen. Hell, if I keep getting these kinds of breaks, I might breastfeed him until he’s 4. Or 14.

So for all you moms out there expecting baby #2, this is my big secret—use the boob. It’s survival for us. And justified because it’s also survival for your baby.  Nothing wrong with that.

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  1. by Jessica

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:54 am

    YES!!! This works with more than just nursing. For moms who can’t breastfeed, insisting that your baby will only sleep if it’s on your shoulder while you’re lying down works, too. :-) Trust me, anyone who’s had their second child or more will use these tricks not only to get extra sleep and rest time for yourself, but also to get bonus alone time with the baby.

  2. by Shannon

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Wait…nursing and drinking…what is wrong with this picture?

  3. by tmiller

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I agree ^ Drinking wine while your son nurses?

  4. by Amanda

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    did I read that right… you’re drinking wine while breastfeeding??

  5. by Crystal

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Yes nursing is soo relaxing, I loved it! And Shannon, there is nothing wrong with nursing and drinking a GLASS of wine. You can drink a glass of wine while pregnant so drinking a glass while nursing is fine too because it’s such a small amount.

  6. by Melissa

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Even a lactation consultant will say a little wine while breast feeding is ok.

  7. by Beth

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    No wonder he has indigestion. You are drinking wine WHILE brestfeeding. I know some doctors say a little is ok but WHILE you are breast feeding. Really?

  8. by wendy wolf

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    i know what you mean, i breastfeed our daughter and she sleeps all night and sometimes dont wake up til 10am. but i get up at 7am and get my 2 older ones off to school and go back to bed for a while then get up and start my daily chores and she will still be asleep. if i try to wake her she gets mad :) but i love breast feeding not because of the extra rest i get but because it makes our bond stronger than any other bond. i love waking up and seeing her smile verses waking up to almost a heart attack when she is crying in her crib. this way we are both happy! right now i signed up to donate my breast milk to help save premature babies in NICU and that feels great too. <3

  9. by Jenny

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    You can absolutely have a glass of wine while breastfeeding! Rock on, Jill. I’m with you sister – the boob is magical.

  10. by santana

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Its best to drink while your baby is nursing b/c the wine doesnt go straight into your milk,its got to digest first ;) So you do it WHILE baby nurses so that within the two hours before baby nurses again you can metabolize it all out. So those of you freaking out can chill. lol

  11. by Sarah Johnson

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I agree… Use your brain.. Drinking while nursing is not ok… He’ll if the dr or lactation lady said smoking crack is ok would you do that too? Why not? Because in reality it’s not right…none glass is better then ten… But no glasses is better than one.. This isn’t just your health it is your child’s too… You eat certain foods because they transfer to your baby you don’t eat certain foods because it causes gas in the baby… But you’re ok with wine because …..why?

  12. by Bethany

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Are u ppl dumb? The wine doesn’t go DIRECTLY to your breastmilk..he wouldn’t be getting any wine if he’s nursing while she drinks a glass. Besides, the wine would be out of her system by the time he feeds again, so p.s. You’re stupid for saying no wonder he had reflux bc ur drinking while bf, it still has to go thru her system before it gets to her milk.

  13. by amy

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    While most professionals agree that a glass of wine is ok; they also recommend drinking it right after feeding to give your body time to metabolize the alcohol before the next feeding. Not, while feeding.
    Also I’m glad breastfeeding is a magical time for you. I breastfeed because it’s what’s best for my child; but it has been a struggle since day one. He’s 4 months now and I am counting the days until we can start weening. I couldn’t imagine doing this with a toddler to care for also; and I have a great husband.

  14. by Hailey

    On May 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Wow… Let’s all attack her for drinking wine. Get a life people. Drinking one glass of while while breastfeeding is perfectly fine.

  15. by Janice

    On May 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    YES! I love it that I can lay in bed breastfeeding while hubby deals with our toddler some mornings. She prefers daddy anyways!
    I’m not a drinker but alcohol does not go directly to breast milk so if you start on your glass of wine while nursing its okay. Also new studies have shown that a lot less gets into breast milk than previously thought.

  16. by Breanne

    On May 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    I love the boob. It is even referred to as “The Boob” in our house. We only have 1 right now but nursing our dd is enough to get my hubby waiting on my hand and foot. I’ve even stolen his recliner. It was a life saver at night the first 4 weeks. I would get her in the football hold propped up with a pillow and we would both fall asleep there. That first month she just didn’t seem to want to sleep anywhere but on me. She is nearly 4 months old now and it is so sweet to see her get excited when I pull out the boob to feed her.

  17. by Bill

    On May 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Good thing all these stay at home Mommies have yet another excuse to do nothing while the husband has to go out and actually earn a living to pay for the couch you sit your ass on. lol. Oh and yes I have a child also and I have stayed home to watch my Daugther. And it really is not as hard as all the woman try to pretend it is. I would much rather stay home with my Daugther then have to go out and work.

  18. by Jenny

    On May 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Drinking while nursing is 100% fine…we are so neurotic about this in the US. Look at the rest of the world and all of human history if you’re still hesitant. (Frankly, we should all be much more concerned with the hormones we’re dumping into our bodies and the environment via birth control, agriculture practices, etc.)

    Sheesh, give this mom a break for being honest and for actually enjoying mothering a newborn.

  19. by Breanne

    On May 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    @Bill- I am not a Stay at Home Mom. I am up by 5:30 to make sure I have to pump and then feed my daughter as well as get ready for work and out the door by 7 so I can drop our daughter off at daycare and be at work by 8 while my hubby sleeps away. I am the sole income while my dh is going back to school. The least he can do is hand me my kindle and a glass of tea while I’m feeding our daughter as soon as we walk in the door at 6pm. He is usually happy to hand me anything I want esp. when I was up all night with the baby so he could sleep and be rested for class the next day. In a few more days he will be watching her full time over the next two months. It will be the first time he will be alone with her for more than a couple hours.

  20. by Jill Cordes

    On May 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Hey–I also posted on the Parents facebook page, weighing in on some of the comments. Those of you who said you can breastfeed while the baby is on the boob or right after are 100% correct. It hasn’t had time to metabolize. Same with coffee. My oh my, we are uptight (some of us) aren’t we? Like I said on the facebook comments–those of you who think I’m getting a)sh-t faced and harming my baby, b) hurting the dad for helping, and c) being selfish for enjoying both my baby and MY time are either humorless, martyrs or both. Like some of you said, lighten up!! And yes, let’s rock that boob!

  21. by Jill Cordes

    On May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    fyi–here is the facebook link for anyone who is interested.


  22. by Stephanie

    On May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Bill-you’re a jackass.

  23. by Tiffany

    On May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Wow, Bill, way to steer the conversation away from drinking while breastfeeding! I’m a stay-at-home mom now, and I don’t know what you do while you’re at home watching your daughter, but I definitely don’t “do nothing,” that’s for sure! Maybe you should work out whatever issues you have with your own situation b/c I doubt you’re going to get any sympathy here. Especially by talking down to women who are choosing to give up their careers to raise their children, which certainly isn’t “doing nothing.”
    And just to clarify – women who choose to continue their careers instead of staying home are making just as valid of a choice. Women (and men, Bill!) should support each other in these choices – neither working moms or stay-at-home moms have it easy.

  24. by Dawn

    On May 10, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    I agree with you 100%! I’m nursing baby #4 so the boob has been my saving grace on many occasions. Rock on!!

  25. by CB

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Hey @Bill – I have a mom friend who worked a high powered job for 12 hrs a day but took a year off to be a stay at home, SINGLE mom… And she said working was easier and couldn’t wait to get back. If you’re a stay at home dad who thinks its easy, you’re not doing enough work around the house, cooking, laundry, food shopping, cleaning up, etc… Clearly.

  26. by CB

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    And to those of you giving Jill shit about having a glass of wine while breastfeeding?! You’re just wrong. Ask your doctor. And have a glass of wine… you sound a little uptight.

  27. by Michelle

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    LOVE this!!! Ttc #2 with son turning 16 mos this weekend, so this is a great reminder of how the first weeks and months may go. I LOVE it!!! And yep, I was resentful for a while. Soooo ready to give up bf’ing around 7 mos, but stuck it out until about 14 mos when he quit. WTG, Momma! :)

  28. by Rachel

    On May 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

    Geez people, it’s not like there’s a funnel going straight from her mouth through her boob into her kid’s mouth.

    I”ve been using the boob to my advantage for several months now and I’m milking it for all it’s worth (pun intended)…except when I have to get up 3 times a night (STILL!), then it’s not really advantageous, especially as I listen to my husband snore away.

  29. by Kevin

    On May 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    My wife used to do this all the time. When not feeding it’s 50-50, but while taking time out to feed, all the rest of the stuff in the house, including the toddlers, is 100% me. Forget the fact that I’m a stay at home dad. There’s no way that comes out anywhere close to fair for me. I can tell you that by the time she was done nursing, I was a big ball of resentment. Rereading this, it appears I still am.

    I guess all I’m dating is to be careful of your partner’s feelings while you’re playing these games.

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  45. [...] Why The Boob Rocks. You would think this post would have been well-received by most. But oh no. There is a line in [...]