My Nanny=My Wife

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.

I hired a nanny full time. I better hide behind a duck blind to keep from getting shot, given the outrage from my Sitter Chronicles awhile back. i.e: Why aren’t you raising your kids yourself? –was the gist of many comments. But hear me out:

It takes a village right? Well, I am new to LA. I have no village. No family nearby. And I don’t have a ton of close friends yet–or at least friends who don’t have their own lives, jobs, kids to take care of. And even if I did, I wouldn’t burden them with helping me. I just felt like with 2 babies, I’d be a better mom if I didn’t feel constant pressure to be the “only one.” So here’s how it’s shaping up:

Cleo, my nanny, is part time now. She becomes full time once baby Leroy (working title) comes. This isn’t so I can skip off and take tennis lessons (not that there is anything wrong with that, but I’m not a Desperate Housewife). This is so I can pick and choose the quality time to spend with either Fia or Baby. Or by myself. No one wins a medal for carting two kids around all the time. I mean, plenty of people do it. Many out of necessity. I am just incredibly grateful to have the means to hire help. (I often hear, “Well, our parents did it.” I laugh at that. God, if you had known my parents, you’d know that they are not to be put on pedestals for their stellar parenting!)

A little bit about Cleo: She is the wife I always wanted. She sweeps my floors while Fia naps. She cooks for me! As in homemade soups, salads, black beans from scratch….she can look in the fridge and see meals where I see nothing. She brings me afternoon tea if I’m in my office writing. I don’t ask her to do any of this. She is just a nurturer. I am in love.

I found her on a website/listserv out here called Booby Brigade. She had amazing recommendations. When she walked in, Phil and I both knew. She was the one. Like my friend Teresa said: finding a good nanny is harder than finding your spouse. So I feel like I’ve found both.

She’s from El Salvador and is speaking Spanish to Fia, and will to the new baby as well. She raised 5 kids on her own here. Her youngest daughter is 15 and she sometimes brings her with if she’s watching Fia for our date night. Fia loves them both. I feel like they just add a good energy to our house.

I’m hoping that by having her, I’ll handle the newborn phase a little better than I did with Fia. If nothing else, I should be able to take naps and catch up on sleep with a second set of hands. I think this is a great solution for me in terms of juggling a household, a 2-year old, my freelance work, and a newborn.

Any of your pregnant women planning on full time help even if you don’t have a full time job outside of the home? Dare I ask if you think I’m indulgent or smart?


Add a Comment
Back To Fearless Feisty Mama
  1. [...] Home › Humor › Why My Nanny Is the Wife I’ve Always Wanted [...]

  2. by Veronica

    On January 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

    I’m jealous (but in a good way, not a crazy jealous way!) I say good for you! I work full time and my kids go to daycare full time. If I could manage it I would have a nanny too, because it’s a zoo in the morning (even with getting out clothes the night before, making lunches the night before etc) to get out the door. My kids are 2 1/2 & 4 1/2 and something unexpected always comes up just as I’m trying to get everyone’s coats on so I can make it to work on time. Once a week or so I will get done work a few hrs early and will use that time to get groceries, get my hair done, etc BEFORE picking up the kids. Otherwise I never get any time to myself and I’m paying the same daycare rate if I pick them up @ 3 or @ 5, so I feel I might as well make that grocery trip easier on myself! It’s a lot of work to be a mom and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having/needing/wanting help!

  3. by Heather

    On January 10, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Smart! You recognized the challenges that you faced when Fia was a newborn and you were proactive about finding a solution for when baby #2 is born.