Moving Mid-Pregnancy: Traffic School

Author’s Note: Join me every Tuesday or Wednesday for “Moving Mid Pregnancy,” to read about my ongoing search for a new “everything” (from nannies to mom friends to health providers) while pregnant and living in a new city.


Looks like I get to go to Traffic School. What’s that you ask? It’s like detention in the movie, The Breakfast Club—but for traffic violations.  I guess I have found the downside to driving.  And I was so enjoying traffic here. Damn.

Last week Fia and I were leaving Griffith Park. I had taken her to this lame-o exhibit called Travel Town. Complete with trains that kids can’t climb on and a toy train track with no train (maybe it’s BYOT? Bring Your Own Train?). We were heading home and I must not have stopped completely at a stop sign. Cue the sirens.  My huge belly didn’t help at all. The officer didn’t care. C’mom Little Leroy. Do your magic rather than just kicking me constantly.

In California a violation like this can literally double your car insurance. Which is why they offer Traffic School–an 8-hour day where you get a lesson in proper road rules. Painful. Followed by a Driver’s Test. Doubly Painful. In exchange: you still pay the fine, but the points are erased.

My traffic school date happens to fall on my C-section date. Hmmm…I wrote in my controversial homebirth article that I’m pro-choice. So now I get another choice: Traffic School or Birthing Baby?

I called the LA Superior Court today to see about moving the date. Their recording says, “Due to budget cuts we no longer have operator assistance.” I went online, but the system couldn’t find my citation. So now I’m going to have to waddle in there and change the date.

Maybe I can bring Fia to Traffic School. She could climb on the tables and disrupt the class until they kick us out—as long as I still get my points erased. Hell, I could bring Wayne Sanchez too. Not a bad idea…


Stop Sign pic via Shutterstock

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