My Big Announcement

Author’s note: I’m stealing a line from Julia’s blog on Parents. ie: If you are trying to get pregnant and having trouble conceiving, don’t read this.

At 14 weeks, baby in belly is the size of a lemon

At 14 weeks, baby in belly is the size of a lemon

When Fia was born we felt so lucky. She was healthy and happy. 20 months later, she is all that and more. And I continue to count my blessings. For that reason, and a few others, Phil and I didn’t see a sibling in her future–or ours. Neither of us wanted to jinx our perfect situation. We got a good one, why gamble? I figured maybe down the road we’d adopt.

Friends would say how great it is for kids to have siblings. I wasn’t convinced.

Half the time I hated my siblings and they hated me. There is no guarantee that everyone will like each other. It’s yet another roll of the dice. Just like procreating.

I also didn’t feel like going through another pregnancy. Granted, I had an easy one with Fia, but again, why gamble?  Plus, in my AMA–Advanced Maternal Age– (roll eyes at that stupid term) I didn’t want to risk all the things that can happen with old ovaries.

In May, we came back from a family vacation in Costa Rica. Life got busy. I had to make a final trip down to FL to say goodbye to my dying mother. Then I was off to LA for a business trip.

In the back of my head I had a nagging feeling. But my stomach cramps and sore boobs reassured me. Any day now.

One night when Phil was out of town, I poured a nice big glass of wine for myself. I opened up my calendar and began to count. “27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33”… hmmm. I took a sip. Recounted. Sipped again. Recounted. I finished my wine, might have poured a little more, and went into the bathroom to pee.

My internal dialogue went like this: I’ll just look under the sink to see if I have any left over tests–just going to put my mind at ease. Ahhh! There is one. Cool.

Pee on stick (no internal dialogue here).

Watch stick (?&^%*$#@?&)

Gasp. Scream. Run to phone.

“You gotta talk me off the ledge” I yelled.

“What? Are you in a fight with your siblings?” Phil asked with alarm.

“NO,” I shouted. “Fia’s going to have a sibling. I’m pregnant!!”

“What? Seriously? Holy f-ck. Wow. Whoa. …(3-second silence)…Ya know, I like babies.”  I grimaced.

“But you don’t have to carry one. And the beginning….”

I was already reliving those first few months when Fia kicked my ass. Lack of sleep and raging hormones turned me into the devil. Not to her—she had my entire heart–but she was the only one.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said. Then added calmly, “I think we’re pretty good at it actually.”

He had a point. We never wanted kids. We’d been married 10 years before we decided to roll the dice. And after those initial “suicide months,” we fell into parenthood like strawberries in chocolate fondue. Swallowed up and coated with a layer of life so delicious neither of us could believe it.

So on the night I peed on the stick, called my husband, and poured the rest of my wine down the sink, I began to embrace this next chapter. It’s a chapter I would have never had the courage—or energy– to write for myself.  The universe made the decision for me (along with some recklessness on our part), and I’m going with it. I’ve always enjoyed a good game of blackjack–and have done quite well at times. Time to double down.

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  1. by Stephanie

    On August 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    So happy for you and your family. This might be my favorite post yet!

  2. by Stephanie

    On August 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    Congratulations! Although if you don’ take any precaution to prevent pregnancy, siblings can and will occur :)

  3. by Chloe

    On August 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    congratulations! that’s so exciting, even if you weren’t planning for it. don’t stress too much about sibling battles…if you’re aware of the problems that might arise, you can help the sibs to foster a good relationship.

  4. by Berit

    On August 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Congratulations! Berit, your fellow pregnant Parents.com blogger here. Totally crazy that we have the exact same due date. Hope all is going well for you so far. I look forward to commiserating :)

  5. by Julia

    On August 11, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    Haha you’re totally welcome to steal any lines, any time. And CONGRATULATIONS!! I love this post in so many ways. So looking forward to reading about it all! :)

  6. by cathy

    On August 11, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Congrats!!! OMG! Your having TWINS!! PSYCH!!…well maybe you never know what the future holds so excited for you guys!! xxx
    Killer B’s!!

  7. by christina coughlin

    On August 11, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Congrats Jill! You already figured out what to do w/one so this will be a piece of cake! So happy for the three of you!!!

  8. by Megan

    On August 12, 2011 at 8:02 am

    Congratulations!! That is so exciting. I hope to be in your shoes soon! Is anyone else TTC with thyroid problems? I’d love to know how it worked out! Please check out my blog on the topic at http://www.futuresupermom.wordpress.com. Thanks!!