The Sitter Chronicles–Your Comments

I’m pretty blown away by all the comments we’ve received (and I say that collectively, because many of us are commenting on each others comments as well). These three posts over the course of one week have caused quite a stir. We’ve had the good, bad and ugly.

I bow to so many of you for commenting in such eloquent, meaningful ways. Everything from sharing your story as a SAHM because your child has autism, seizures and cancer (there were a few of you and my heart goes out to how brave and strong you are. Those are not easy cards to be dealt. For me, unimaginable)– to those who feel privileged to be at home or at an office working. Or at home working. It sounds like for most of us, the arrangements we have fit our lifestyle. And that judgment isn’t necessary. Yet we do it anyway.

Why is it so hard not to judge? I have to catch myself all the time. Even the way I judge other members of my family or my neighbors–even my friends. I don’t know why it is human nature to feel superior. But for many of us, it is. Perhaps it’s insecurity or justification, but sometimes it just comes down to thinking your way is right and others are wrong. Why can’t it be that your way is right and other people’s ways are also right? It’s a work in progress for me.

I think the other theme I picked up on, particularly from the SAHMs is the lack of recognition they receive. And again, why is it that we feel such a need? Is it because the working people of the world get a tangible reward, i.e.: a pay raise, a compliment or a trophy? I know we moms get our kisses and hugs, which in many ways mean so much more, but it IS hard to not be recognized by your peers, your husband, your family when the job your doing is exhausting, and at times, thankless.

I took Fia to my in-laws this spring (a plane ride away), by myself. My husband was on a deadline.  I went for two reasons: so that they could see her and so we could both be pampered. Yet, I was fishing for compliments from my husband on how above-and-beyond I was going.

“My mom friends told me how cool it is for me to be flying Fia to Wisconsin to see your parents.”

“But you want to go,” he replied, seeming puzzled.

“I know, but still don’t you think what I’m doing is pretty great?”

“Yeah, I love that you’re doing it, but it’s also benefiting you.”

Not exactly the response I was looking for. But in all honesty, I had 24 hour childcare (oh no, here we go again with that bad word. Kidding), time to write, workout, and just hang out and relax. It was great. Why do I feel like I needed to be recognized as a hero? To be told I’m wife and daughter-in-law of the year?

These are all questions we can continue to ask each other and ourselves. Let’s just try and be kind about it. Like I said in one of my comments, you catch more bees with honey than vinegar…. Plus, it tastes better too.

Add a Comment
Back To Fearless Feisty Mama
  1. by Allison Winn Scotch

    On June 28, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Jill -
    I had to swing by and say that I empathize! In fact, I just drafted a very similar post to go up on Thursday. I so wish that we could all step back and be less judgmental, but in the meantime, all we can do is ask ourselves to live up to our own standard. So I am. And you are too! Bravo. :)
    (Your fellow blogger on The Balance Sheet)

  2. by Wanda Birdsong

    On November 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    Singing sensation Adele is actually to team up together with one of the most well known hip hop superstars on the world regarding what could turn out to be a musical union Made in heaven, according to a tabloid paper. The Sun announced that the 21-year-old music star has met up with Jay-Z, who has only been in the united kingdom to support his lady Beyonce during the Glastonbury Festival.

  3. by Wally Honeysucker

    On November 18, 2011 at 12:39 am

    Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  4. by beats by dr dre falsos

    On January 6, 2012 at 7:15 am

    When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any approach you possibly can remove me from that service? Thanks!

  5. by Jamey

    On October 22, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    I like your blog site. At the time I discovered it, I just experienced to examine all of it. Thanks for building my day!


    On December 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    Really nice layout and excellent content , hardly anything else we require : D.

  7. by Highly recommended Internet page

    On December 14, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your weblog. You have some really good posts and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Thanks!

  8. by coupons

    On December 28, 2012 at 3:24 am

    We are a bunch of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with useful information to work on. You have performed a formidable activity and our entire neighborhood shall be grateful to you.|

  9. by

    On January 7, 2013 at 5:50 am

    Thanks for sharing superb information. Your web-site is very cool. I’m impressed by the info that you’ve on this site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles.