Well-known hottie and expectant mom Mila Kunis appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night — and launched into a full-fledged, pre-scripted pregnancy rant after the show’s host remarked that he and his wife are pregnant too.
“I’m Mila Kunis with a very special message for all you soon-to-be fathers,” she said, addressing Kimmel and the TV audience after hopping off the couch and grabbing a mic. “Stop saying we’re pregnant. You’re not pregnant. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon size person out of your lady hole? Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No.”
I hear you, Mila. I have always thought it sounded extremely hokey when people used the royal “we” to describe men’s role in pregnancy. If you know how babies are made, you know that’s not how it works. So it’s cringe-worthy to hear it said aloud. It just doesn’t sound right.
That said, I have to disagree with the star that future dads’ role in pregnancy involves simply “roll[ing] over and fall[ing] asleep.” Here’s a small sampling of things it has involved for my own husband, especially as I enter into the late stages of the game while carrying multiples:
Physically lifting every single thing heavier than an iPhone that requires lifting
Carrying my decidedly un-unisex handbag all over town
Assembling all the nursery furniture and baby gifts
Washing just about every dish generated in our home, and cooking most meals too (as standing becomes difficult for me)
Attending every breastfeeding, parenting, and infant CPR class right alongside me, as well as every doctor’s appointment (with an hour commute each way, compared to my work-from-home flexibility)
Fetching all manner of heating pads, ice packs, and Tums in the middle of the night (also known as not sleeping through the night, just like his pregnant wife)
Being the rudder that steadies the entire family’s emotional ship (and that job alone — let me tell you — it ain’t easy)
So, from where I sit, my kids’ dad-to-be is very much steeped in the pregnancy — in a support role, yes, but also in ways that are very physical. For that reason, I’m totally OK with him applying the “we’re pregnant” phrasing if he’s so inclined.
Even though, as Kunis so poignantly noted, it is a little weird.
Let us know: How does it make you feel when men say, “We’re pregnant?”
You always hear that “size does matter” when it comes to a man’s, um, manhood. But a new study says it’s not a guy’s twig, but his berries that women should really take note of. And in this case, bigger isn’t better. That’s right, ladies, good things do indeed come in small packages.
The evolutionary theory behind the findings is that men are divided into two camps: the function of those with bigger balls and more testosterone is to proactively procreate; those with smaller stones are made to nurture and protect the offspring. This study follows the lead of similar research that has suggested that men with higher testosterone levels are less interested in raising kids. But a man’s testosterone level can vary over his lifetime because of age, diet and general health, while the size of his family jewels stays consistent.
So if you believe this study—and I’m still not sure I do—taking a peek at a man’s sack while between the sheets could give you a clue about what type of family man he’d be. Just don’t get caught staring!
TELL US: Do you believe the size of a man’s pills really determines how good of a father he’ll be? Or do you think this study is totally nuts?
Ok, so it’s not exactly on the market, but Huggies has developed a “pregnancy belt” that has given some dads-to-be the ultimate Father’s Day present: the ability to feel his baby kick—not by putting his hands on his baby mama’s bump, but in the dad’s own belly! It took four months to create the belt that “replicates in real time the movements and the baby’s kicks, from mom’s belly to dad’s belly.” (If this thing were at Brookstone, I’m sure it would sell out way faster than those massage chairs!)
As you can see from the video, the dads are overcome with emotion when they feel their babies kick—as was I. I wish my husband had been able to experience that overwhelming love I felt each time our son kicked. After of course I realized that’s what was happening—it took a few times before I knew what I was actually feeling. Early on the sensation felt like butterflies in my stomach, but as my son got bigger and stronger his kicks and elbow jabs were unmistakable. I’m pretty sure he was dancing nonstop—kind of like his mom and dad. While it wasn’t always the most comfortable feeling, every tap brought a smile to my face, knowing that my little one was somehow communicating with me as if to say, “Hi, mom!”
As much as we moms say we wish our guys knew all that we had to go through while pregnant, I was really surprised when my hubby came down with a bad case of sympathy pains. I had morning sickness for months, and there were days when my husband felt nauseous too without any real explanation. His back and knees were also hurting right along with me—and I admit I was not sympathetic at all. Puh-lease! There’s no way what he was feeling could ever compare to my sharp-as-glass pains. Or so I thought.
And while I gained 20 pounds of baby weight with my pregnancy, my husband gained 15. Who could blame him, if he was going on a donut run for me, why not get one—or two, or three—for himself? But getting the post-baby pounds off has proven to be just as hard for him as for me.
So it’s fair to say that my pregnancy wasn’t easy on him either (and I didn’t even mention my emotional mood swings he had to endure!). If he had to suffer right alongside me with pains and belly fat, I wish he had experienced the good stuff too, and nothing beats the warm-and-cozy feeling you get when you feel your baby inside you. All men should feel what these lucky few got to. Come on Huggies, get this belt in stores stat!