Pregnant & Dating: A Good Idea?
For the most part, women don’t usually set out to get pregnant without a partner by their side. And when they do, it’s something they’ve put a lot of time, effort and consideration into before making that hard decision to go solo. That’s why suddenly being single when you’re already pregnant is a terrifying thought for most. Can you imagine trying to land a date with someone—who’s not the baby’s dad—while pregnant? Me? No, never!
But that’s exactly what WEtv’s show Pregnant & Dating, which premieres tonight, explores. It follows the lives of five single moms-to-be out on the dating scene. There’s Rachel, a television and film producer, whose boyfriend walked out on her when he found out she was pregnant with twins. Megan, a nail technician in a trendy Newport Beach salon, got pregnant with a man her dad’s age, and now feels he’s not daddy material, so she’s looking for a guy more her age to help raise the baby. Celebrity stylist, Melissa, has her boyfriend run off with another woman while she’s pregnant, and the loser says he won’t be around for the birth either (Way to man up, dude!). Singer Kiesha (formerly of the R&B group, Xscape) says the father of her baby is “just a friend” and he doesn’t even realize she’s pregnant—let alone know he’s the dad! Finally, there’s swimsuit model Shana, who is stunned when she finds out she’s pregnant, but is even more shocked to find out that men are still hitting on her with a baby on board.
To me, pregnancy and dating were both hard enough on their own, combining the two seems like mission impossible! Kudos to these brave women who aren’t willing to let their bumps get in the way of their pursuit of love. To be honest, though, I think it’s going to be très difficult. Let’s get real for a minute. Of course men are going be intimidated—and flat our scared!—of the idea of instantly becoming a dad, let alone to someone else’s kid! So many single moms I know have a hard time finding men who want to date women with kids as it is, but if they think the mom is just looking for a rebound replacement dad, they’re likely to bolt before you can say baby.
Don’t get me wrong. There are some advantages to dating while preggers: Many women find that they’re at their most beautiful and confident when they’re expecting. Skin has that natural glow, so you’re radiant and alluring. Having a special connection with the little one inside you plants a permasmile on your face and so you appear more approachable to the opposite sex. And because you want to create a stable life for your bun in the oven, you’re less likely to fall for the Mr. Right Nows, because they just aren’t good enough to be around your precious angel.
But there are a lot of downsides too: You may hit a point where you’re having some self-esteem crashes, and can then become extra needy, fishing for compliments to boost your ego. You might look around and see women with flat stomachs and hate every last one of them, while simultaneously coming off as a crazy jealous person if your new guy talks to any other person with a vagina. Since your hormones are raging, you might cry for no apparent reason (I know I did!). These are all major red flags for most men. Oh, and burping and passing gas? Not so cute on a first date! Swollen feet and hot flashes? Not exactly sexy.
So my advice is pregnant date at your own risk. Sure, you can find the man of your dreams, and then you know he really loves you for you—which is like winning the Lotto! Or, you could get your already sensitive feelings hurt when you can’t find your soulmate, and you dramatically and irrationally conclude that you’re completely undesirable and always will be. But realistically love is always a gamble, right? There are never guarantees you won’t get your heart broken. But when you’re on a reality TV show, I’d say the chances are higher than ever that you will!
TELL US: If you’re pregnant and single, how’s your dating life? If you’re paired up, can you imagine dating someone with a baby on the way?
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