And there was also the part where you said goodbye to Papa and Nonna for the weekend while wearing nothing but a diaper; and the ladder, which happened to be sticking out the front of your diaper.
Of course, this wasn’t the first time you’ve used a random item as your favorite toy of the day. Not even two months ago, you took a spatula to school without me really even noticing; not until the director mentioned it as we were walking in the front door.
So actually, I guess I should be expecting you to carry around weird items more regularly. It’s like you get a thrill by taking strange objects outside of our house and into the real world… as a way to qualify their true existence.
Or maybe, having a toy ladder or a spatula somehow makes you feel more connected to the big world out there. Maybe it makes you feel more awake and less in a dream world.
Maybe you’re just a curious little boy who makes me laugh on a daily basis because you do stuff I would never think to do.
Don’t be surprised if tomorrow morning as we’re leaving the house, I’m holding the remote control.
Honestly, you behaved very well. I was quite impressed. It was a non-event.
I didn’t have to do any of my recently acquired deep-breathing ad-lib yoga exercises. I didn’t have to find my place of serenity.
You let Mommy and I shop for over an hour, as we spent hardly anything on the few items we needed, in peace.
And just look at your face in the picture as you were getting ready for the car ride home.
I’ve been noticing on the car rides to and from school every day, that it seems you’ve developed a new fascination with ambulances and police cars.
“They’re going to help that crash!” you exclaim every time you hear an emergency vehicle pass nearby.
I’m actually pretty impressed by your anglicized pronunciation of the sirens.
Once we got home, you forgot all about wanting to watch Mater’s Tall Tales on Netflix, instead choosing to go upstairs with me and try out your new ambulance and police car, with their corresponding action figures.
Though I did go through the trouble to shoot a quick video, what really cracked me up was seeing how you cared for the crash victims, which were in a pink Micro Machine race car from when I was a kid:
Instead of pretending to put the invisible passengers into the back of the ambulance, you decided just to try to put the whole car in.
It didn’t quite fit, but I do appreciate your concept of helping the entire car and all its passengers inside the ambulance.
After all, why not just fix the car at the same hospital that the crash victims are being treated?
And it’s those kinds of memories that make paying the ”good little boy in T.J. Maxx” tax totally worth it.
And it’s actually pretty awesome! I’ve never seen giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet before…
In fact, that’s so creative of an idea I’m sort of jealous I didn’t get hired by Imaginext to come up with ideas for toys!
It’s good timing because Mommy and I are planning to take you to your very first movie in a theater: Disney’s Planes.
So your Twister Jet serves as not only your first real toy plane, but also as a way to pretend you’re flying one of the planes from the new Planes movie once you officially become obsessed with them… which you will.
Your cousin Matt and I were talking about the “practicality aspects” of having two giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet, when he happened to look down into the wading pool full of toys you’ve been playing in and saw what he thought was a toy gun, only to learn that in reality it was one of your girl cousins’ toy hair dryers.
“Does Jack like toy guns?” Matt asked.
That was the first time I had considered the fact, that honestly, you don’t even know what a gun is.
It’s not that I’ve purposely sheltered you from toy guns; water guns, in particular.
But even with your water table on our back patio, you don’t need water “guns” because you have several toy animals that squirt water instead.
By no means am I endorsing any kind of agenda either against or for guns, especially because for the past month as I’ve been working on a letter to you called “Never Talk About Politics, Religion, Or Peoples’ Food,” I’ve been trying to deliberately not perpetuate America’s polarizing tendencies, especially in social media.
At some point, you’ll be old enough to know what guns are. You’re not even 3 years old yet.