Posts Tagged ‘ spanking debate ’

Is Spanking Actually More Effective Than The Alternative?

Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

I try not to make a big deal about it, but we don’t spank you. However, I’ve mentioned before that until you were born, I was “pro-spanking”.

That changed when you were born, but not because “I didn’t have it in me” to spank you.

Instead, it was because as I’ve been comparing you to other kids your age, I clearly see that you are no worse behaved than those who are spanked.

I just don’t see the benefit of spanking a child, as compared to a child who is disciplined the way I try (!) to discipline  you:

Setting clear expectations to begin with, consistently following through with time-outs, calmly (yet assertively) explain why the punishment occurred, as well as how it can be prevented next time.

I realize now that it’s the lack of discipline that concerns me. That’s why I am very serious about making sure you are effectively and consistently disciplined.

However, I don’t have a problem with other parents spanking their kids, because that’s none of my business. I’m a Libertarian, after all. (Though I would become the Incredible Hulk if I ever found out any other adult, like a teacher, ever spanked you!)

But for me personally, I don’t see how spanking is any more effective than the way I have always tried to discipline you. 

In fact, Richard Rende, PhD, who is an associate professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown Medical School and Buter Hospital and a blogger at Red Hot Parenting, cleverly put it this way in his article, Spanking Doesn’t Work:

 ”Let’s keep in mind here the argument for spanking – it’s purported to improve children’s behavior. Studies continue to demonstrate that it does not do this, and in fact often predicts worse behavior. So despite the personal stories and folklore about how a good spanking can change a kid, each empirical study that comes out suggests that it changes a kid for the worse, not better.

If these stories ring true, why don’t we see huge positive effects of spanking when we study kids over time?”

I’m not saying that I’m the best example of a parent… and I really don’t know who is. With that being said, I have to admit, you’re not a kid who gets into trouble.

You’re a 3 year-old. A lot of your issues are based on me not getting you home in time for your afternoon nap.

I have never spanked you and I never plan to. (Plus, Mommy wouldn’t let me even if I wanted to.)

More than anything, I believe in doing what is most effective. Therefore, I discipline you without spanking you… because that’s what’s right for our family’s culture and communication style.

Discipline without spanking is not right or effective for all families, but it is for us.

Love, Daddy

P.S. This video explains 5 alternatives to spanking that Mommy and I try to apply:

1. Ignore attention-seeking behavior.

2. Pay attention to good behavior.

3. Redirect your child.

4. Teach consequences that make sense.

5. Use time-outs for serious offenses.

Discipline Without Spanking
Discipline Without Spanking
Discipline Without Spanking

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Parents And Politics: Delaware’s New “Spanking Ban”

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

22 months.

Is the state of Delaware really banning spanking? Not exactly, but in theory, sort of.

Governor Jack Markell, a Democrat, passed Bill 234 last month, which contains an ambiguous phrase that I have conveniently copied and pasted for your convenience:

(j) “Physical injury” to a child shall mean any impairment of physical condition or

pain.

That’s why Bill 234 is controversial.

Because let’s face it: Spanking causes pain. That’s basically the whole point.

So it’s possible this bill could be interpreted that a parent could be breaking the law by causing pain to their child, via spanking.

Ouch.

How should we feel about that?

Immediately thoughts of “Oh no, now Big Brother is going to try to keep me from disciplining my own child!” come to mind.

The lines begin to blur regarding discipline and child abuse. What if other states adopt a similar bill?

When I hear a story like this, I remind myself what the root of it is. It’s not about whether or not spanking is wrong or right.

It’s about giving the government control over personal issues like this.

The question isn’t about spanking. The question is whether or not you support a “hands off” approach to government or a “decide what it is right for us, government” approach, instead.

Personally, I don’t believe in spanking. I raise my son with a strict, consistent method based on time-outs and taking away privileges, followed by clear communication with him explaining A) why his behavior merited the discipline and B) that I love him, then I hug him.

However, I support a parent’s right to spank their child. Because after all, who am I to stay that my method is better than spanking?

That’s not my call. Nor is it the government’s.

(Can you tell I’m a Libertarian?)

So as we approach this important Presidential election next month on November 6th, keep this mind:

You are voting for a political party and their ideologies, more so than a particular man.

Will you vote for a political party that lets the government decide how you discipline your own child, as well as, how many ounces of soda you can buy for your child when in New York City?

Or are you okay with making those decisions yourself?

 

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