Posts Tagged ‘ parenting ’

What Happens While Mommy’s Getting Her Haircut…

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

One of my jobs as “the dad” has always been to distract you from getting into trouble, or getting bored, while in public.

Over the weekend, Mommy had a haircut appointment at a salon, thanks to a Groupon.

I was able to distract you for about 8 minutes with the one magazine that wasn’t intended for actual desperate housewives… a hunting magazine, in which we only looked at the animals that had not been shot yet.

Hey, that’s just me being creative.

So I suggested we take a walk outside to see the other places in the shopping center.

We started out by watching the people exit the drive-through at Starbucks. But after only three cars, you were ready to run.

The shop right next to where Mommy was getting her haircut was a nails salon. The front door happened to be open, since it was nice outside.

You peaked in and saw the workers wearing masks over their noses and mouths to protect them from the fumes.

Your instant (and loud) response: “Hey, it’s the dentist!”

Then you ran down the sidewalk to check out the other stores. However, none of the others were open.

So we headed back by the nails salon. By that point, the owner was standing in the doorway, smiling.

I explained to him that you thought he was a dentist.

He went along with it. He then asked you if you have been brushing your teeth.

You assured him you have been. He offered to show you around the “dentist’s office” but you politely declined.

Once his wife caught a glimpse of you, she came over to ask you if you wanted to stay there at the “dentist’s” with them.

After you laughed and told her no, she surprised us both by making a face like a monkey (?) and flopped her arms around in the air, then started cheerfully grunting (?) to us, “Ooga-booga, booga-ooga!”

It was about that time that Mommy was all finished with her haircut and walked out of the salon. So we walked away with Mommy, backwards, smiling and nodding at the “dentist’s” wife; as she made you laugh all the way back to the car.

Yep, I guess we got what we were looking for:

Entertainment while Mommy got her haircut.

Uh… you’re welcome!

 

Love,

Daddy

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You Don’t Have To Teach A Boy To Make A Mess… Or To Find Trouble!

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Saturday morning as we were getting ready to go to the Vanderbilt scrimmage game, which we actually missed because we were hanging way too long at a new vegan café we discovered thanks to a Groupon… you were being quiet and happy over at the window sill.

Finally, you announced to Mommy and me:

“Look, I’m killing this bug!”

Turns out, the thing was already dead. So I guess what you meant to say was that you were dissecting the bug… by smashing it with a vanilla-scented candle.

(All while wearing your “Just Like Daddy” t-shirt.)

Little black legs were everywhere.

I let you have your fun- after all, you’re a boy. You’re supposed to scrape up your elbows and knees… and make messes.

Granted, I don’t have to teach you to do this. You just naturally know where to find the right environment.

Again, I support it. You need to be a boy.

But it goes without saying that I provided you with the handheld vacuum cleaner and made you suck up all the loose bug body parts.

Then Sunday night while Mommy and I were preparing dinner, again you were being quiet and happy… the perfect combination for you to find trouble.

You had discovered some candy that you were supposed to save until Easter. Yeah, Mommy and I caught you “brown handed,” underneath your chair.

But we were laughing way too hard to be the least bit upset with you.

Besides, whether you had that non-approved candy then or on Easter, I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway. Delaying the sugar rush only to add it to the jackpot on Easter doesn’t make much sense, I guess.

Being a boy is fun. Discover your world. I will be there to laugh with you. And sometimes, at you.

Can you blame me?

Love, Daddy

Find fun crafts your kids can make with stuff you already have at home (except dead bugs).

Mom Confessions: The Strangest Thing I've Found in My Purse Was...
Mom Confessions: The Strangest Thing I've Found in My Purse Was...
Mom Confessions: The Strangest Thing I've Found in My Purse Was...

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Will The Real Easter Bunny Please Hop Up?

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

In the past few weeks, you have seen the Easter Bunny three times now. I really wish I could know exactly what you’re thinking when you see him.

My guess is that your perception of the Easter Bunny is similar to the way you perceive Trotro the donkey, on Netflix.

You have explained to me, “No, Daddy. Trotro is not a donkey or a boy… he’s a donkey boy.”

So that means the Easter Bunny is not a bunny or a man, but a bunny man.

I’m sure you are further confused by the fact that all three Easter Bunnies you’ve seen here recently looked completely different.

The yellow one in the middle of the Opry Mills Mall sort of looked like a grandpa, wearing wire framed glasses.

About 50 feet away was the brown bunny standing in the doorway of Build-A-Bear (who is not advertised as the Easter Bunny, but it is implied). That one apparently is female- and definitely the happiest. She silently giggles a lot.

Actually, I’ve never considered this, but there is no solid reason why the Easter Bunny has to be a male.

It’s confirmed then- I am officially open-minded to Build-A-Bear’s concept of the Easter Bunny… that he may be a she.

And then there’s the Kroger Easter Bunny.

He sort of followed us around like a puppy; which wasn’t a bad thing. I would say he was more like a real bunny and less of a bunny man.

I think his goal was for us to get our picture made with him. It worked.

He even watched as you got your hands painted.

Nothing says Easter like a snake and a hippo; per your request, of course.

Being a kid is great, isn’t it?

You get to live in a mysterious world where enchanted mutant bunnies appear in public in the weeks leading up to Easter, then all of the sudden get shy and sneak in during the middle of the night to give you candy and toys.

Sounds a little passive-aggressive, though… right? You don’t question that at all and neither did I, at your age.

Logic isn’t so important to you at this stage in life. I miss that.

 

Love,

Daddy

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The Top 10 Dadabase Posts Of All Time: 4 Years And Counting

Sunday, April 13th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

As of today, I have been doing this for exactly 4 years. That’s right- I’ve been writing to you, or at least about you, since April 13, 2010; which was 7 months before you were even born.

Here’s an explanation as featured in the About Me section:

“Back in April 2010, I decided I wanted to set a world record for the longest-running daddy blog in the world, beginning with the day the parents-to-be went public with the news they were expecting a baby. Nearly a thousand blog posts later, I write a new one nearly every day.”

Sure, it takes discipline and creativity to write a fatherly post 25 times each month (this is my 955th over all), but it’s one of the things in this life I do best.

Even then, my best isn’t always great. In the past 4 years, I have definitely written things I would later, and still do, regret. At the same time, those “regretful” moments also have served as important milestones in my maturity as your daddy, as well as a writer.

On the other extreme, I think it’s interesting to see what the most interesting things I’ve written to you are about. While my Top 10 Dadabase posts are definitely not my personal Top 10 favorites, the free market has decided otherwise, and I absolutely appreciate their opinion and input.

Just for the record, I have still yet to officially “break the 4th wall” and admit to you that these letters are seen by anyone other than you and me; today is as close as it gets for now. (It’s sort of like how on the TV show, The Office, they never really acknowledged the camera crew or the fact there were making a documentary until the final season.)

So to celebrate 4 years and running, 3 of them being on Parents.com, I now take a look at how my fatherly perspective most resonates with the general public:

#1: No-Bake Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls… Jealous Much? (February 7, 2014/16 Facebook “likes”)

#2: The Half-Abortion: Only Keeping One Twin (August 14, 2011/2,900 Facebook “likes”)

#3: 5 Token Signs Of Millennial (Or Generation Y) Parents (December 2, 2012/44 Facebook “likes”)

#4: A Slap In The Face: Child Abuse Or Child Discipline (June 10, 2012/329 Facebook “likes”)

#5: Is “Natural” Vanilla Flavoring Really From Beavers…? (February 12, 2012/2,700 Facebook “likes”)

#6: 5 Pointers To Help Avoid Food With Fillers (December 20, 2012/13 Facebook “likes”)

#7: 5 Impractical Ways To Save Your Family Money in 2013 (January 2, 2013/13 Facebook “likes”)

#8: Kama Sutra For Parents Of Young Children (February 14, 2012/1,000 Facebook “likes”)

#9: 7 Tips For Planning A 1 Year-Old’s Birthday Party (December 2, 2011/10 Facebook “likes”)

#10: The Amazing Photo Of Alicia Atkins’ Baby Reaching From The Womb (January 3, 2013/106 Facebook “likes”)

To my surprise, my review of the recipe for “No-Bake Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls” is by far the most popular thing I’ve ever written. I only wrote it 2 months ago, yet it has now nearly doubled the number of views of the #2 most popular most, which was published nearly 3 years ago.

So I guess I need to review more vegan recipes?

Over all, just glancing at which ones made the Top 10 list, it appears I am most interesting and relevant when I am talking about our vegan (“plant-based”) lifestyle, morality issues, identifying as Generation Y parents, questioning the traditional norms of child discipline, being “cheap” parents, poking fun at the realities of trying to sleep as a parent, planning a child’s birthday party, and spotlighting cool news stories about parenting.

(Plus, putting numbers in the title, like “The Top 10 Dadabase Posts Of All Time: 4 Years And Counting”, seems to help too.)

I’ll try to keep these things in mind as I continue writing my thoughts as a dad in these “private” daily letters to you.

Four years down… the rest of our lives to go!

 

Love,

Daddy 

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Taking My Kid To Downtown Nashville For The 1st Time

Thursday, April 10th, 2014

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

I don’t want the general public to know this, but Nashville truly is one of the coolest places to live in America. Our town keeps showing up in articles as an “it place” to live.

The economy here is great, the people are diverse and friendly, there’s plenty of awesome entertainment, and the weather is…

Well, the weather is decent, yet a bit all over the place. Just two weeks ago I encountered 4 different seasons in the same hour. Literally, it snowed, then it was mild, then it was hot and sunny, then it cold fairly cold again.

Despite the fact we actually live in the Nashville city limits, only 12.2 miles from downtown, until this past Saturday, we’ve never actually taken you to Broadway, where all the “Nashvegas” action happens.

Mommy had found out about a free puppet show going on at the downtown library. She had me at “free.”

Two of your friends from school, and their parents, met us there for the excitement.

You got to witness your very first puppet show; it was a Native American tale called Sky Bear.

That actually was the first time I myself had seen a marionette-style puppet show.

Next, you and your friends made your way to the big window and saw “the Batman building” in the background.

Lucky for you, one of your friends’ parents suggested we check out the candy store on Broadway, called Savannah’s Candy Kitchen.

As you and your friends walked hand in hand, you were able to see many Nashvegas wonders… like a pink school bus, a convertible limo, and some kind of weird man-powered trolley in which over a dozen people peddled sideways to make the thing go… called Sprocket Rocket.

Yeah, because that’s apparently what’s normally going on during a typical Saturday morning at 11:23 on Broadway in Nashville.

Amidst all the exotic sights and sounds, we eventually reached our destination. I’m very familiar with the saying, “like a kid in the candy store.” Well, that was you and your friends.

You ended up with a bag full fully of jelly beans. Your friend Madison chose a giant lollipop… and it only cost $3.50.

It was quite an eventful morning. Of course, by noon, it was time for all three 3 year-olds to head home for lunch and nap.

You’re a lucky boy. You got to experience the splendor of downtown Nashville, accompanied by two of the cutest brunettes you know.

 

Love,

Daddy

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