Posts Tagged ‘
only child ’
Sunday, March 17th, 2013
2 years, 4 months.
Since I took you to Shipwrecked, your favorite indoor playhouse in the Nashville area, for the past two weeks you kept asking me, “I go back to Shipwrecked? I drive Buzz?”
So yes, you finally got your wish yesterday. You got to drive Buzz. And boy did you enjoy it… I think…
Last time, I explained how you drove the Lightning McQueen car like a crotchety old man. Driving Buzz was the same way for you.
Clearly you were just there for business, not pleasure.
Your objective was to drive the Buzz Lightyear car from one side of the indoor playground to other, without any other kids trying to take it away from you.
Based on the look on your face in the picture above, I’d say you did a pretty good job of scaring them off. I’m sure you made it clear you weren’t there to make friends… but just to drive Buzz.
Fortunately, after you accomplished your mission, you starting interacting with the other kids there. You abandoned Buzz for the ball pit, the train table, the book nook, and the building blocks.
You didn’t even mind that other kids drove Buzz during the rest of our 2 and a half hour session.
I guess we could say you are learning to share, despite being an only child right now.
Well, this is a start, at least.
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Friday, December 7th, 2012
There’s the near daily discussion between Mommy and I about the possibility, in the future, at least a year from now, of us possibly trying to have another baby. Yes, that would mean a younger brother or sister for you.
We can easily think of good reasons we would want you to be an only child. We can also easily think of good reasons for you to have a sibling.
As far as why you should have a sibling, there’s one weird reason that keeps popping up in my head; one that Mommy has never mentioned.
So I guess I have to file it in the “Daddy’s Deep Thoughts” folder. Here it is:
I think about all the potential siblings who would never be born if we just stopped with you.
It just seems weird to only have one more. Why not two more? Why not five? Why not ten?
At some point for financial, logistical, and other practical reasons, that “one more kid” finally becomes one too many.
How am I supposed to know who the final little brother or sister is supposed to be?
Half of me is wired like Jim Bob Duggar, while the other half is wired like every parent in the history of the world who was content with their decision to only have one child.
I mean, to a certain degree, God leaves it up to Mommy and I to decide how many more lives to bring into the existence of this world.
Really? God is okay with my input in that decision?
No matter how many (or few!) brothers or sisters you end up having, or not having at all, much of that responsibility falls on your parents.
We have less than a decade to decide…for us, for you, and for all the siblings who will never exist.
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Sunday, November 25th, 2012
The day after Thanksgiving, Mommy and I had to go work, so your Nonna and Papa came up to visit and take care of you.
When I got home, Nonna told me how you kept telling her, “Mama and Daddy go to doctor.”
These days, you have random words floating around your head at any given moment, so you are often spitting out sentences that, while they make sense, aren’t actually true at all.
No, Mommy and I haven’t gone to the doctor; specifically, we haven’t gone there to confirm a pregnancy or get a sonogram. That’s because Mommy’s not pregnant.
But you sure had Nonna wondering.
Jack, you definitely may be an only child. That’s something Mommy and I have been very open about with everyone.
We don’t think it should be weird to only have one kid. In fact, it’s a wonderful and respectable idea.
However, I am willing to admit, now that you’re 2… I’m not completely opposed to the idea of having another kid, like I basically was just a couple of months ago.
No offense, but you’re a lot easier to take care of now. I’m not feeling overwhelmed or slightly angry like I was before.
It also has to do with me feeling more secure at my job as I am getting HR certified. It has to do with Mommy and I getting closer to being out of debt. And it has to do with neither of us being stressed out quite as much.
Like I said in my letter to you on your 2nd birthday last week, “The younger you were, the more difficult being a dad was. I was so clueless, even a year ago.”
I recently realized that I no longer feel clueless as your dad. I am much more prone to take on any challenge if I already sort of know what I’m doing.
A couple of weeks ago, Mommy asked you, “Jack, do you want a brother or a sister?”
You instantly answered, “Stister.”
That’s no typo- you literally said “stister.”
We’ll keep that in mind. But I still don’t think you’ll be a big brother anytime soon. Give us at least a year or two.
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Tuesday, June 5th, 2012
A year and a half.
It’s a decision that only my wife and I can make for ourselves, yet we’re open to hearing input from the free world.
For the past several months now, we have been leaning towards the decision to only have one child. It’s not the stress of parenthood getting the best of us. After all, at 18-months old, our son is pretty low-maintenance.
He’s the best son we can ask for and we’re so blessed to have him. So… why overdo it and have another kid?
I love the idea of only having our son. We can pour all of our energy and time into this one special person.
Whatever interests and passions he wants to pursue, we can support him fully.
No conflicts with our other kids’ schedules. No fighting in the back seat on the drive to Florida for family vacation.
Less financial worries. Less stress on our marriage.
As we’ve talked to couples who decided to only have one kid, they share no regrets about it.
I admit: I want to be part of the cool “One Kid Only” club.
As I try to sort through this, I gather reasons why we should consider having another child:
Who will take care of us when we’re old? What if something happens to our son and then we have no children at all? Wouldn’t it be sad for our son if he had no siblings to grow up with?
While I can continue to think of more Debbie Downer questions like these, I really don’t see how answering them will change how I feel:
I want to raise an only-child. I believe I will be feel completely fulfilled with just one kid.
Right now I am 31 years old and my wife almost is. Biologically, we’re still good for several more years.
So how long do we wait before we know to go ahead and make it official? How long before I go “get the surgery” and I can move forward as the proud parent of one child?
Yes, I know: If my parents would have made the same decision then my sister wouldn’t be here. Neither would my wife, who is 9 of 10 kids.
I want my wife to get her “mating’s worth” out of me. That’s important. And it would be one thing if I was simply telling my exclusive thoughts on this, but I’m not.
In fact, though I’ve been kicking this blog idea around for months now, I didn’t actually plan to write or publish it.
But my wife convinced me otherwise. This is something we both feel the same way about, yet want to be sure about.
This can ultimately only end in one of three ways that I can think of:
A) We delay up to about 4 more years before I get the surgery.
B) We choose to have another kid.
C) We surprisingly get pregnant as we try to figure this out.
Okay, passing the mic to you now. The two of us want your insight. Any advice and direction you’re willing to share?
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