Posts Tagged ‘ man points ’

4 Ways Dads Gets Their Man Cards Pulled

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

One year.

In this highly anticipated follow-up to Losing Man Points Vs. Being a Good Dad, I will help society identify what is considered as crossing the line from being an active and admirable dad to just another “look at me!” Tweeting tool who happens to have a kid.

Based on my research, it pretty much all comes down to this: An active and involved dad ultimately loses man points when he is not discreet about his fatherly role; when he abandons the art of being subtle by either A) making a dramatic production of the event or B) trying to make it look too easy. Accordingly, when a man loses enough man points, he gets his man card pulled.

But thanks to my scholarly work published here on Parents.com, I am actually earning man points by helping to prevent other men from becoming “that dad.” Here are the top 4 ways that dads lose so many man points all at once, they get their man cards pulled:

1) Telling other men “cute” stories about their kids. Recently I did a post which told about how my son’s KinderCare teacher threw a Baby Birthday Party; cutting out a paper crown for him and having his toddler classmates thumbprint it as their signatures.

Granted, I have pictures of the event hanging up at my cubicle at work. But you better believe I didn’t go around to the other guys telling them the story behind the pictures. I told the few women that I work with, but not the men. Because men don’t tell each other cute stories!

Men just spit out the basics to each other, like “Hey, my kid is learning to walk this week.” Not, “OMG! So right now, little Carter is totally trying to figure out this whole walking thing. He’s like, “Daddy Bear, I’m not sure about this…”.

2) Using “baby talk” in public. First of all, no man should ever say to his kid, especially not his son, “You want your passy?” Allow me to be too frank; “passy” sounds (and is spelled) a lot like another word used to describe what you are if you’re a man who uses the word “passy” in public. Also off-limits are “sippy cup” and “boo-boo.”

3) Abusing social media. It is not acceptable for a dad to Tweet each time his kid eats a new food, needs a diaper change, or is having an “off” day. Even worse, daddy bloggers should not be allowed to use the phrases “I just need a place to vent” or “I have to blow off a little steam.” No, no you don’t. Sack up.

Dads don’t throw pity parties. Instead, they distract themselves with sports or have some kind of hobby that doesn’t require men to look directly at each other for more than five seconds at a time.

4) Making it look too easy. Parenting is hard for guys. How are we supposed to remember the difference between a onesie and sleeper? In which of the 13 compartments of the diaper bag are the wipes?

If you’re the exception to the rule, then secretly I envy you that your brain is able to successfully function as both a man’s and a woman’s- because I’m sure that totally scores man points with your wife. Just don’t rub it in the rest of our faces.

Pretend you’re still trying to figure this dad thing out like the rest of us, Mr. Mom. Help us look good- or we’re taking away your man card.

Reminder: Mail me your family’s holiday card and end up on my fridge. You’ll be entered for upcoming drawings here on The Dadabase.

Nick Shell c/o The Dadabase

300 Seaboard Lane #5

Franklin, TN 37067

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Losing Man Points Vs. Being a Good Dad

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

One year.

As I’ve established before, and as current American society itself now reflects, the new norm for dads is to be actively involved in their kids’ lives. In fact, being a good dad equates as being a good man in general. And as I’ve written about before, it is literally impossible for a happily married man to be a good dad without being a good husband.

So with that being said, how can a man be a good dad, a good husband, and yet still be considered cool amongst his guy friends? Good question, if I do say so myself.

We have to keep in mind, though, that as society’s expectations of dads have increased, mens’ expectations of each other’s manliness have altered accordingly.

Can anyone really argue that one of the most masculine things a man can do is to be an actively involved, motivating and motivated father? Seriously, what’s more manly than a guy who sacrifices his time and energy on teaching, entertaining, and caring for his kids? Not much else.

Obviously, no man points are lost because a dad turns off the football game to play Barbies with his daughter. Or because he kisses his son even when no one else is around. Not shameful at all; no man points lost whatsoever. In fact, man points are earned from doing those things.

Today, when a man enters the world of Fatherhood, he soon realizes that he naturally begins to embrace new roles that traditionally were more feminine; as his own wife has to go out into the workplace just like he does. It was a lot different for our grandparents when they were young parents.

But this is the 2010′s. Men change diapers and don’t complain. Honestly, I see no irony or even humor in a man changing a dirty diaper anymore. It’s just another part of being an American dad. I remember it being different even in the 1990′s. Now though, the willingness to change a diaper without hesitation is simply one more way to earn man points.

Granted, there have to be some issues where a man abuses his “Dad Badge” and crosses the line. But how can you know what those limits are?

For example, if a man drives a mini-van does he lose man points? Of course not. Because he worked hard for the money to buy a vehicle to transport his family around in. In fact, I say it takes a bigger man to drive a mini-van.

It’s like a man wearing a pink shirt. As long as you do it right- meaning you don’t wear it with (pleated!) khakis, but instead dark pants or jeans- you’re all clear.

But just how far does the Dad Badge stretch? What exactly does a man’s “Parent Pass” cover him for? As the two coexist, what is acceptable and what is jumping the shark?

After some extensive research over this past Thanksgiving, including asking my Facebook friends, coworkers, and real-life friends, I believe I have been able to pinpoint at what point a man goes from “good dad” to “that dad.”

Now that I’ve got you all curious, I invite you to read about my findings:

4 Ways Dads Get Their Man Cards Pulled

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