Posts Tagged ‘
Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
2 years, 6 months.
As I picked out my own dad’s Father’s Day card today, I noticed how they are designed for all the major types of dads. For example, there’s…
The Serious/Sentimental Dad- His card features a sophisticated black and white photo of dad and child.
As well as…
The Funny Dad- Expect a witty cartoon, a humorous photo, or some kind of lighthearted joke on his card.
The Fart Joke Dad- Like The Funny Dad, but specifically capitalizing on flatulence.
But don’ forget about…
The $1.99 Dad- This card tends to feature more generic language, steering away from words of affection like “dad” and “love.”
And of course…
The $.99 Dad- Here’s to one step away from not sending a card at all.
Yes, no kidding: At Kroger, they have both a $1.99 section as well as the $.99 section in the Father’s Day area.
It’s an interesting thought- that kids and adult children have to subconsciously figure out whether they have a serious/sentimental dad, or a fart joke dad, or a $1.99 dad.
I wonder if it changes throughout the years based on the child’s age.
For example, I could totally see you getting me a fart joke Father’s Day card when you’re 10 years old.
It sort of reminds me of an article I read on Yahoo! Finance called “What You ‘Like’ On Facebook Can Be Revealing.”
For example, in theory, because of the fact I “like” Non-GMO Project, Occupy Monsanto, Julie Borowski, Ron Paul, Parents Magazine, and Bruce Springsteen on Facebook, I am evidently making it somewhat obvious that I’m a a socially liberal, fiscally conservative, vegan dad who has accidentally caused his 2 and a half year-old son to now get upset in his car seat if he doesn’t get to listen to Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest Hits album on the way to school in the morning.
To me, a Father’s Day card is just as indirectly telling of what kind of dad one is perceived to be, at least in that moment, that year by their child.
I will never look at Father’s Day cards the same…
Top photo: Night Drive Long Exposure, via Shutterstock.
Bottom photo: Knocked Out, via Shutterstock.
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Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
2 years, 5 months.
Yesterday’s “Should Daddy Get A Gun For The House?” originally had a different ending, in which I made it clear whether or not I decided to get a gun.
However, at the very last minute right before I published the letter, Mommy and I decided that broadcasting to the social media world whether or not we have a gun in the house is not a wise decision.
I think that to announce either way is to raise a red flag.
So in the likeness of the vague closure in the final episode of Lost, I ended the letter by simply saying, “My research is complete and my decision is now made.”
The way I see it, whether or not I own a gun is not really the issue; for me, anyway. The real issue for me was sorting out whether or not I am really capable, willing, and ready at all times to take the life of another human being who threatens the safety of my family.
That was what was important to me; taking the time to truly process that all the way through.
Like planning out a fire drill, in my head I have now mapped out an official “intruder drill.” Now I know the quickest and most efficient strategy for obtaining the [deadly weapons] on both floors of our house; in addition to immediately grabbing the cell phone to call 911.
It sounds so morbid, to say that I’m now ready to take the life of another human being, if necessary. And to be ready to do that at any given minute of the day.
But like Sayid on Lost, you want to have somebody on your island who is willing to be your bodyguard; someone who is always ready to fight and kill for you.
You want someone who is dangerous enough to keep you safe.
That person is me.
Photo: A toy hand gun, Shutterstock.
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Friday, April 19th, 2013
2 years, 5 months.
Before you read this at some point in the future, ask me first to make sure you’re old enough; because the content is dark, disturbing, and designed for a more adult audience:
The story of a man named Kermit Gosnell is finally going viral, even though it is being ignored by the major news networks. That’s why I want to encourage people to talk about it.
I first learned about this over the weekend in an article called, “Why Dr. Kermit Gosnell’s Trial Should Be A Front-Page Story.”
Basically, a man was caught performing illegal abortions, “aborting” 7 babies after they were already born; plus he was responsible for the death of an adult female who died due to complications of his procedures, as well.
For me, this story raises some interesting points regarding the extremely polarizing topic of abortion; for both sides:
A) If abortion were illegal, there would probably be more similar cases of “botched abortions” like this going on. (Pro-choice point.)
B) Why is this story more disturbing because those 7 babies had already exited the birth canal? Why does exiting the birth canal, regardless of the age of the fetus, determine whether the word “aborted” or “killed” is used? Is a photo of an aborted baby more disturbing than of a child “aborted” after it was born? (Pro-life point.)
According to last year’s Gallup poll, 41% of Americans identify as pro-choice, which is a record low.
As a pro-life Libertarian, I passionately support laws against abortion, though I do recognize that a law simply makes it more difficult for people to commit an action which the majority of the population perceives as morally wrong. The law doesn’t necessarily change the demand for the outlawed action, it just helps prevent the action from being as commonly practiced.
However, something did cause the percentage of people who are pro-choice to drop from 47% to 41% in just a year’s time. So… something caused America’s views on abortion to change within a year’s time… and I doubt it’s people yelling at each other on Facebook in all caps and leaving condescending comments on blogs.
With that being said, I wonder how the story of Dr. Kermit Gosnell will influence the percentage of Americans who are pro-choice in the next Gallup poll.
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Sunday, March 24th, 2013
2 years, 4 months.
Yesterday Mommy and I took you to your first Easter egg hunt of the year. You insisted on wearing a hat you outgrew several months ago: We let you win that battle.
During the drive there, I prepped you:
“Listen son, when the egg hunt begins, you need to pick up as many eggs as you can and drop them in your basket. Don’t stop to take the time to open the eggs to see what’s inside- there will be time for that later. Just find an area where no other kids are looking and search there for the eggs.”
The whistle blew and you were confused at first by the hysteria; you had the extra challenge of competing with 3 year-olds because we couldn’t find the 2 year-olds’ section.
But then, it was if you immediately remembered what I told you.
I saw this clever smile appear on your face… then you ran to a section in the grass where no one else considered going.
You meant business. Sure, it was fun for you, but you knew that when it was all over, each one of those eggs symbolized a chocolate treat which we normally wouldn’t let you eat.
After all the eggs were found, I couldn’t help but privately compare the number of eggs you had in your basket to the other kids’ baskets.
Son, you smoked ‘em. You did exactly as I instructed you in the car ride there.
You seized the opportunity, capitalizing in the free market of the egg hunt.
Granted, Mommy and I aren’t letting you keep all the candy you found. We sorted through what we would let you keep and we’re actually giving 75% of it away to your friends at daycare.
As your Libertarian dad, I am proud of you for learning a real-life lesson yesterday; in regards to being a responsible and proactive participant in the free market.
You worked hard and reaped the fruits of labor, but you’re also giving back to the community of toddlers who weren’t as fortunate to find as many eggs as you did.
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Saturday, February 9th, 2013
2 years, 2 months.
In this very moment, here is exactly what’s going through my mind:
You really do have a weird man for a dad.
I realize that’s nothing I need to apologize for. After all, my quirkiness and passionate beliefs are what attracted Mommy to me in the first place.
So ultimately, you are here today because I’m not so normal of an American man.
We’ll make this thing work, though. You’ll turn out fine.
It’s just that I have a feeling as you get older, your friends will all be aware that your dad is… a bit on the eccentric side.
You’ll be the kid with the dad who doesn’t eat meat, doesn’t use any products that contain sodium laurel sulphate, doesn’t use microwaves, doesn’t pay for cable or smart phones, and doesn’t believe in using credit cards.
I’ll be that Libertarian, yet law-abiding; conservative, yet open-minded; Generation Y father who happens to live on the outside of what is often mainstream.
To be honest, I only recently realized how off-beat a demographic I am a part of. As I look back through the letters I’ve written you, I see that often my worldview does not necessarily reflect that of the majority.
So the question is, how will that affect you?
Am I brainwashing you? Probably a little bit. However, I don’t see how I’m brainwashing you any more than any other parent out there.
That’s one of the scary parts about being a parent. As your dad, I greatly influence your worldview, whether I mean to or not.
You can’t choose your parents. I’m the one you ended up with, though.
Whether it’s for better or for worse, I take pride in showing you my version of how the world works and/or how it should work.
Ultimately, what I want for you isn’t any different than what I assume any parent wants for their child:
I want you to know you are loved, you are special, and you are wanted. I want you to be confident in yourself, strong in your beliefs, and caring to others.
Maybe I’m not that weird of a dad after all…
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