Lost In Translation: “No Way, Bug! Get In The Cheese!”

Friday, April 26th, 2013

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

You are in the stage now where you’re piecing together catch phrases you hear Mommy and I say and incorporating them into your observations conversation.

Yesterday as I drove you home from school, I guess there was a gnat or something flying around you. This is what I heard:

“No way, bug! Get in the cheese!… You’re in trouble. No ma’am! Just chill out. Go find a home.”

From there, your conversation with the bug went from 2nd person perspective to 3rd person narration:

“The bug needs to find his parents. They hold him. They take care of him. That’s weird.”

I’m still a little confused about the cheese part. Do you want bugs to live inside of cheese wedges? Is that where they usually call their home?

The part I understand most from your conversation with/about the bug is this: The bug has a home where he belongs; where he has a Daddy and Mommy who love him.

Thanks, Son. That’s sweet of you to assume the bug’s parents love him the way Mommy and I love you.

I love your backseat radio show. That’s how I’m starting to think of it now.

In particular, I thought your rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” was pretty creative:

“Twinkle, twinkle, purple monster truck…”.

As you would say, “That’s weird.”

Love,

Daddy

Dads Like To Teach Life Lessons To Their Kids

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Men are wired to solve problems. We like fixing things.

I truly feel empowered and alive anytime I correctly identify a problem, apply the solution, and see the successful result. With that being said, one of the things I love best and look forward to the most as your dad is teaching you life lessons.

It’s a huge part of being a dad.

This concept is exemplified in a Facebook page (and hopefully eventually a book) known as 100 Things to Teach My Son. It is the creative project of a dad named RJ Licata who lives in Syracuse, New York.

Since starting less than two months ago on January 13th, the project has already received over 650 Facebook “likes,” despite not being based on anything or anyone famous. He explains on his page:

“On a whim, I made a Facebook post expressing the first (#100) of the top 100 things I wanted to teach my son. I really had no intention of continuing past that one post. But then I got some ‘Likes’ and some comments that I hadn’t been expecting. So I posted #99, and I got some more positive feedback.

I continued posting my ‘lessons’ with a photo that I thought best explained the lesson in picture, and by the time my countdown got to #85 or so, I’d gotten so much positive feedback from my friends, as well as some Facebook friends that I rarely interact with, that I had no choice but to continue on.

Because so many of the lessons have been so well received, I thought there must be others out there that I’m not friends with who would also enjoy seeing/reading them.

And that is why I started this page… You’ll also find similar posts and content that I think will inspire you to be the best parent/person you can be. It’s not just for fathers. It’s not just for sons. It’s for anyone who wants to be moved to laughter or to tears, to be inspired or comforted. Mostly it’s a way for me to document my journey as a father.”

There is a reason people are connecting with 100 Things to Teach My Son. 

For me, it caught my attention because of its simplicity and honesty. I like that it is built around the idea that active and involved dads spend a lot of time thinking about what they will teach their kids, based on their own life experience.

I definitely relate to that. Here’s a prime example:

“❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #56 – Playing catch with dad is much more than throwing and catching, a ball and a glove.”

And a couple more of my favorites…

“❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #51 – If you must compare, compare yourself to the you of yesterday, not to anybody else.

❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #93 – We all have some sort of super powers, but we don’t all use them.”

Jack, something you will always know about me is that I thrive on teaching you about life and how the world works.

I’ll teach you everything I know, though I obviously know there are just some lessons you learn best on your own.

See, that’s one of my life lessons for you…

Love,

Daddy

All photos appear courtesy of RJ Licata, 100 Things to Teach My Son. 

Free Craft Activity For Kids: Home Depot’s Little Helper Headquarters

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

2 years.

Dear Jack,

You are sharpening your handyman skills quicker and more professionally than I am.

Last weekend we took you to meet your friend Sophie Culpepper at Home Depot’s Little Helper Headquarters, where once a month they have a free craft activity for kids.

We are now are the proud new owners of a wooden picture frame that you made.

Okay, so actually, it was me who glued the 4 pieces of wood together, then drove the nails through, as well.

But afterwards, you got to swing the hammer, while wearing your safety goggles, of course.

If we keep this up, it’s going to be you teaching me how to make bookshelves and change out a bathroom sink, along with all those other things I’m already supposed to know how to do because I’m your dad.

It used to be that I never really cared too much about learning how to do handyman stuff. However, when you came along 2 years ago, I started feeling a greater responsibility to become more involved in fixing stuff around the house.

That’s actually part of the reason the logo for The Dadabase is a wrench.

Becoming a dad inspired me to want to become Mr. Fix It; even it’s the worst version, which is any token sitcom dad of the 1980′s. I feel responsible for teaching you how to work with tools.

The thing is, I barely own any tools. But every time Mommy assigns us a new job, together you and I will figure it out, buying the necessary tools along the way.

It’s just like when I started this whole being a dad thing. I never really knew what I was doing, yet you never seemed to notice.

Sometimes the best way to teach someone is by learning in the moment, out of necessity. I have a feeling that’s going to be the way I teach you a lot of things in life, Son.

Here goes nothing…

Love,

Daddy

A Non-Churchgoer’s Guide For Finding A Church For Your Family

Friday, August 10th, 2012

20 months.

Maybe you recently read “8 Non-Religious Reasons To Take Your Kids To Church” and now you’re thinking, “Okay, I see how that could be a good thing for my family but there are so many churches out there, I just feel overwhelmed. I simply wouldn’t know where to start.”

For someone who is new or unfamiliar to the church scene, I recommend the kind of church that meets at a school, where everybody pretty much wears jeans to the service.

This concept seems to be decently modeled after Saddleback Church in California, where Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church is the pastor.

Often the names of these “purpose driven” churches include phrases like family, life, community, and fellowship as opposed to official denominational ties, such as Baptist, for example.

They are easy to Google and definitely have a constantly updated website letting you know what exciting activities are going on there.

These churches are typically designed with you, the newcomer, in mind. They have a much more casual setting with a more open, feng shui feel. No pews, for example.

Churches like this are a natural magnet for younger families with children. And that’s hugely important for you as you consider joining a church community.

There may be a band leading the worship music in some likeness of Coldplay (or Lady Antebellum) while coffee and snacks (often free) are served nearby.

I predict at a place like this, you won’t feel like you’re being held over hell like a marshmallow, but instead will feel welcome and part of the crowd.

You can also expect the pastor to be less preachy and more teachy. You’ll feel like he’s talking to you, not at you.

That’s not to say that churches that don’t follow the “purpose driven” model are predictably stiff, outdated, and judgmental, but I do think that a church that fits the model I have described is going to have a better chance of not making you feel out of place, as a newcomer.

What matters is that you find the church that is the best cultural fit for your family so you will want to go back, not feel like you’re supposed to or have to.

I don’t think church is supposed to be boring. I think it’s supposed to be full of abundant life. That’s the kind of church I hope you find for your family.

Photo: Paper Coffee Cup via Shutterstock.

Why I Like To Scare Kids, Especially My Own

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

19 months.

This past weekend my uncle Al bought Jack a toy Spiderman (hockey?) mask. While it was a bit too big for my son, it was still large enough to fit me.

So needless to say, I became Spiderman. But not the friendly neighborhood Spiderman who we all know and love.

No, instead, I was a creepy, henchman-style Spiderman who liked to slowly sneak up on my son from the other side of the room while he watched me lurk toward him the whole time.

Imagine being a 19 month-old toddler and seeing your dad wearing a Spiderman mask while saying your name through his teeth as he eventually grabs your leg and pretends to eat it.

Just for the record, Jack wasn’t terrified. He won’t need counseling for this. (At least, I don’t think so… yet.)

I could tell it was a thrill for him. He did like it, though he definitely had to remind himself that it wasn’t actually a crossbreed between Jason Voorhees and Spiderman.

Jack has always been a very mellow kid and sometimes I enjoy the challenge of finding new ways to get him to laugh through my idiotic behavior.

In case I’m managing to make myself seem psychologically unstable, allow me to make it worse by elaborating.

It’s not just my own kid I like to scare, it’s all kids.

When I walk into Jack’s daycare, I become “Mr. Teeth” to Jack’s friends. It’s the character who has no lips but who just chatters his teeth and waves.

After a couple of months of meeting Mr. Teeth, some of Jack’s friends have finally started doing it back when I walk in now.

To my one year-old niece, Calla, I am known as Uncle Possum. I make the most hideous face I can, and trust me, it’s unsightly, and I get right in her face to see if I can get a reaction.

What I love is she just stares right back at me as if to say, “You’re no big deal. I’m not afraid of you.”

To toddlers and babies, I am the equivalent to those monsters in the book Where The Wild Things Are. Friendly and harmless, yet still technically a monster.

Kids like to be surprised. So with my mildly scaring them, I help them test their limits and at the same time entertain them in a fresh new way.

So far, I have only made one kid cry because of my antics. And he cried for like 20 minutes… after I left the room and got out of sight.

It was bad.