Posts Tagged ‘ Honda Element ’

The 2 Car Garage Up My Son’s Shorts

Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

2 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

By now I’ve learned just to always keep the camera with us in the car. Otherwise, stories like this one wouldn’t have their proper illustrations.

It’s often during that early morning drive to school that your creative juices are flowing finest, as you attempt to entertain yourself (and accidentally, me as well) in the back of my Honda Element.

This morning, right after we had just passed the fire station with its two open garage doors, you began narrating the ad lib story about the white car (that was mine when I was a kid) and the red Jeep you were playing with.

“Hey, I have to go in the garage,” said the white car, voiced by you, speaking in falsetto, as you drove him up your left shorts leg.

Immediately following, the red Jeep announced he needed to go in the other side of the garage; which, you guessed it, was the up the other leg of your shorts.

As I mentioned yesterday, “ It’s like you get a thrill by taking strange objects outside of our house and into the real world… as a way to qualify their true existence.”

Therefore, before I dropped you off in your classroom this morning, you had to place your two cars in your cubby so they could be accessible the very moment you would see me again at the end of the day when I picked you up.

I should point out that the red Jeep has a driver, who we refer to “Ghost Man,” a plastic figurine you won as a prize at a Halloween festival last year.

Today when we got home, I asked you what Ghost Man did all day in your cubby.

You instantly and very sincerely responded, “He was good.”

Then I asked you what he ate for lunch. Your reply:

“Daddy, he was in the cubby all day!”

I’m not sure how you were so confident he was good all day if he wasn’t able to leave the cubby, not even to eat lunch.

But, hey, as long as you make up funny scenarios like a 2 car garage up your shorts or Ghost Man behaving well in your cubby all day, I’m going to keep asking you curious questions.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

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The Daddy Diaper Bag: Okiedog Review

Saturday, April 20th, 2013

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Thursday morning as we pulled out of the neighborhood, you asked me:

“What’s that sound, Daddy?”

Minutes later, a man in a pick-up truck next to me motioned to my back tire. Fortunately, we happened to be very close to a WalMart, where we learned my tire had a big silver nail in it and that the tire would have to be replaced.

For months now, I have meaning to get my own diaper bag to keep in my car for you.

Given that you and I spend at least 7 hours a week together in my car, it makes sense that I should have a “daddy diaper bag” to remain with me wherever I am with you.

Interestingly enough, Thursday morning happened to be the morning I placed my new daddy diaper bag in my car, in the seat next to you. Then minutes later, the flat tire situation happened.

So during the 2 and a half hour event, I had books, toys, snacks, and of course, diapers for you; right there all in one place. It’s strange to think that before this week, I didn’t even carry diapers with me in my car!

But now, we’re all set. And not only do I have a daddy diaper bag, I actually have a really nice, trendy one from OkieDog.

I noticed that the particular bag I chose, the Urban Sphinx, is specifically designed for a man. Just like the way a man compartmentalizes his thoughts in a very cut-and-dry manner, the bag is evidently designed this way too.

The bag actually reminds me of my car itself, a Honda Element, in that it is simple, practical, efficient, and very low-maintenance.

Those are all adjectives that, as a man, are important to me in describing things I own.

Like a Honda Element, my daddy diaper bag contains no cloth or fabric, making it very easy to clean.

It has a plastic carabiner-type device on a key ring behind the main flap, making it very easy to find my keys. (That’s why I hate Mommy’s purse… I always have to dig around for her keys!)

Something else that made me smile about my daddy diaper bag is that it comes with a couple smaller zippered bags; perfect for wet wipes or snacks.

I like how nothing about it is hidden: All the pockets and compartments are easily visible and obtainable. (I am assuming it was designed by a man because everything about it speaks to me in my language?)

In other words, nothing about it reminds me of a purse, like our other diaper bag.

Son, this is our masculine diaper bag. It has already experienced its first adventure with the two of us.

Here’s to many more father and son adventures! Hopefully, they won’t involve me buying a new tire for my car…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Attention Dadabase Readers: Here’s a coupon code that gives you a 10% discount on orders from the okiedog.com site: 2296.  

It will be good through the end of May 2013. Also, Okiedog will soon be offering free shipping on all products to Amazon Prime members.

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Hostage Negotiation With My Son’s Blanket/Girlfriend, Mimi

Saturday, August 4th, 2012

20 months.

This is my son, Jack. As you can see, he is a very happy little boy.

Especially with Mimi by his side. That’s his blanket/girlfriend.

We have no idea how she got that name.

Yes, I do recognize the absurdity in the fact that my wife and I daily refer to this thin little blanket A) as a female and B) by an actual human name.

One day a few months ago he just starting calling it Mimi. None of his friends at daycare have a Mimi and his teachers didn’t know anything about it either.

And even despite knowing that Jack is fairly limited in what consonant sounds he can make so far, I just can’t figure out how “Mimi” could translate into “blanket.”

Therefore, Mimi is a proper noun. I base her gender on the way he acts like he’s in love with her… or it.

Mimi is on every car ride. She’s always there during playtime. During dinner too.

We do draw some lines, like bath time.

Interestingly, right after he gets out of the bath, his devotion briefly changes to Tara, the bath towel we dry our son off with.

Basically though, he’s just imaging that Tara as Mimi since Mimi doesn’t really like the water.

What’s really funny though, in the likeness of Michelle Tanner on Full House, what Jack somehow doesn’t realize is that there are actually two Mimi’s!

The other one is actually blue and has little dogs all over it. (It’s true when they say that love is blind.)

We just alternate the two blankets every couple of days so that Mimi is always clean.

Since turning Jack’s car seat around, facing the front now, Mimi has found herself a hostage victim on a near daily basis.

About halfway home from daycare most days, Jack will “drop” his water cup or some random toy from his back seat collection. (Basically he gets bored and wants my attention.)

He then says “uh oh” as if it were an accident, though it never is. Five seconds later, it’s a constant stream of him annoyingly whining.

I explain to him every time:

“Jack, I’m driving right now and it’s my job to keep both of us safe. I can’t reach what you’ve dropped because the car is moving. Once we get to the next stop light, I might be able to reach it for you.”

Usually the whining persists after my clear and logical explanation. So I give him a 2nd and final warning:

“Jack, just chill out and have fun back there. Otherwise, I’m going to have to take Mimi.”

If he’s feeling adventurous, which he usually his, then he continues his distracting moaning to see if I will live up to my word.

I always do.

Then I reach back and grab Mimi as my hostage in the front passenger seat. I wait about 2 minutes, during which time Jack responds:

“Mimi! Mi-mi! Mimi! My Mimi!…”.

Once I return Mimi, all is good in the world and Jack completely forgets about whatever stupid plastic cow that “fell” out of his cup holder in the first place.

 

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Baby on Board: Jack’s Taxi Service

Monday, August 15th, 2011

Eight months.

For nearly a month now, Jack has been going to day care as my wife and I have returned to our jobs here in Nashville.  I work only a block away from where he is all day, so I’m the one to chauffeur him an hour round trip five days a week.

Those “Baby on Board” suction cup signs on cars always crack me up.  I’m only pretty sure that a careless driver isn’t going to have the gumption to read one of those signs, then stop and think, “Oh! That car has a baby inside. Man, I need to slow down and focus.”  Or maybe there’s some secret society of people playing bumper cars with their cars out on the highway and they only break for vehicles with the “Baby on Board” signs.

Needless to say, there is no little plastic yellow sign stuck on a window of my Honda Element, but I do indeed drive a vehicle containing precious cargo.  With my baby on board, I feel like his bodyguard.  The Pope has the Popemobile; Jack has his Toaster on Wheels, his Big Green Lunch Box, his Wind-Up Toy Car- your choice.

I know there are cities with crazier drivers in America, but for those 60 minutes a day I drive him around in Nashville, I have to assume that every other person is a maniac who is drinking their fifth 5-Hour Energy drink and Tweeting on their phone while I drive alongside them.  I have to assume that at any given moment, a startled deer will jump out in front of the car.  I have to assume that Wile E. Coyote poured a bucket of Acme grease on the road in front of me in attempt to catch the Roadrunner.

In the meantime, Jack is asleep half the time as I jam out to any given Weezer album.  As for the time he’s awake, I assume he’s like me: in deep thoughts about A) the unfortunate impossibilities of time travel, B) whether or not God likes the music of Dave Matthews Band; if so, what is His favorite song, and C) who would win in a fight- A.C. Slater from Saved By the Bell or Uncle Jesse from Full House?

For now, Jack’s vocabulary doesn’t extend past “dada,” “mehm-mehm-mehm-mehm,” and “ba-ba-ba-ba.”.  But eventually, he and I will be able to have some normal conversations during the morning and afternoon car rides.  I can ask him what he learned in pre-school that day.

Until then, we’re both just sort of in our shared solitude, looking in opposite directions.  Every so often though, I turn around real quick to make sure he hasn’t somehow escaped his car seat and wandered off.  Then I see those happy little feet and know that my baby is still on board.

Look how cool Honda Elements are! The back seats can fold up and into the side of the car or all the way back (as seen in the picture of this one).

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My Baby-Sporting Utility Vehicle: The Honda Element

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Seven months.

Shortly after we moved to Alabama from Nashville, my friend Jon Kennedy and his wife, Amelia, came to visit us in our snowed-in cottage home. I remember Jon suggesting that I write about how a man’s car evolves once a baby enters the picture.  After all, some men really do have to trade in their sports cars for minivans.  If not, there are certainly some types of conversions that must take place to make a man’s vehicle “baby friendly” and “baby practical.”  That is, unless you’re me, and you drive a 2004 Honda Element- the best car ever invented!

(Except for maybe the Delorean…).

In my Honda Element, there is virtually no cloth or carpet; all surfacing material is rubber, plastic, or vinyl- even the seats.  So there is no crying to be done over spilled formula or leaky bottles.  The ceiling in my car is especially high, giving Jack the sense that he is not closed in- which is especially important on hour-long trips.  Facing the rear of the vehicle, he has so much visibility not only above him but around him through all the windows.

One of the most unique features about Elements is that the two rear seats fold up into the side of the vehicle when not in use, instead of just simply folding down.  This creates plenty of cargo space- say, for a Pack-and-Play crib or even a corn hold set.

Another great thing about the seats is that they fully recline.  This makes for a convenient diaper-changing station when Jack has a wet or dirty diaper after having just arrived at our destination.

And behind the rear seats, there is still plenty of storage space.  I can easily fit his Jeep walker back there without any grief.

That’s right; my Honda Element is spacious, versatile, and easy to maintain.  Those things are important to me as a dad.  Because ultimately that means I drive a very practical and ideal vehicle for hauling around a little bambino.

It’s no coincidence that in 2007, the Honda Element won the “Dog Car of the Year” from Dogcar.com.  It only makes sense that if it’s good enough for a baby, it’s good enough for a dog.

Sadly, 2011 is the final year of production for Honda.  So I guess that means eventually I’ll be driving a classic vehicle.  Because I just can’t imagine driving anything other than Jedi- that’s what I named my Element back in 2006 when I bought it.

That is, unless, this particular Dadabase becomes so popular that Honda decides to bring back the Element because the demand for them becomes so high that it would ultimately bring forth the…

Return of the Jedi!

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