Posts Tagged ‘ helicopter parenting ’

Calling All Helicopter Parents… Tell Me Your Story!

Friday, October 19th, 2012

23 months.

If you are a helicopter parent, think you might be one, or have been recently called one by someone you know, tell me about it.

Do you “hover over” your child? Are you considered to be “over-involved” in your child’s life?

I’m curious and I want to explain why.

Recently I finished a 3 part series on trying to figure out if I was a helicopter parent. (I know now that I’m not.)

However, to come to that conclusion, I compared myself to extreme stereotypes of what I imagine(d) a helicopter parent to be.

While that may have been effective in helping me reach the conclusion of my self-analysis, it still leaves things quite blurry on what a real helicopter parent is actually like.

By gathering stories from readers, I want to be able to present a collective image of a true helicopter parent.

I want to hear which of your behaviors cause you to be labeled as one.

Allow me to give my grandiose stereotype of a helicopter parent so that my preconceived ideas can be proven wrong:

A true helicopter parent believes the “cry it method” is evil and therefore their child rarely sleeps in their own bed, up until the child’s preteen years. The child is given prescription drugs as early as preschool to help them with ADHD and/or depression, as the child never really learns to cope with their own emotions.

Years later, the child has trouble finding their classes in high school and even college, calling their parents for help. Similarly, the child is still completely dependent on their parents, well into their 20′s, for laundry and cooked meals.

Ultimately, the child never really learns to stand up for themselves or believe in themselves.

They never learn individuality, because their concept of it is based completely on how their parents perceive them.

By the time they reach adulthood, all the “babying” their parents have done has preserved them in a perpetual state of “what am I supposed to do?”

Now is your chance to enlighten me, as well as the rest of us, who don’t understand your parenting style. Now is your chance to defend your proud stance as a helicopter parent. Set the record straight by overwriting the stereotype I just shared.

Send me an email. Tweet me. Contact me on The Dadabase Facebook page.

All of those things are super easy to do, just by clicking on the appropriate icon on the right side of the screen, underneath “Follow Nick Shell.”

Or just simply leave a comment below.

Okay, go…

 

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Oh Wait… Are We Helicopter Parents? (Part 1)

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

22 months.

Recently at my son’s daycare, I was asked by a fellow parent, “I’ve noticed you carry Jack out everyday instead of walking him out like the rest of us. Why is that?

I didn’t know what to say.

Honestly, I had never thought about it before. I didn’t realize I was weird for not letting my son, who is now nearly half my height, to walk out to the car while holding my hand.

One answer that came to mind was that it’s too much trouble to get out of the building and into the car with him walking in the midst of distractions; that it’s just easier to carry him out. True…

But really, now that I’ve thought about it, I’d say the main reason I carry my nearly 2 year-old son into and out of day care each day is because it’s one of the rare times he actually likes me to be physically close to him; aside from wrestling him.

In other words, if you’re familiar with the book, The 5 Love Languages, my son’s is not physical touch.

However, he does this new thing now where as soon as I pick him up and start walking with him, he pats me on the back. It’s really sweet of him.

(I can’t believe I just said the word sweet. That’s so not my style.)

When I carry my son around, it’s like our designated “buddy time,” I guess.

But yes, it’s completely unnecessary, given that he’s been walking since I can’t remember.

So while it could just be that I enjoy our “man cuddle” time, yeah I know that sounds weird, it could be hinting at the fact that possibly, maybe, I might be a helicopter parent.

Let me unpack this theory, out loud.

When I think of the annoying phrase “helicopter parents,” it never has a positive connotation.

I think immediately of attachment parenting; something I never want to be associated with.

Why? Because I never want to be (or be seen as) an extremist, of any kind.

And when I think of helicopter parents, I think of extreme parents who are “a bit out there.”

With your feedback along with my self-analysis, I am going to try to figure out if my wife and I could possibly be considered helicopter parents.

You decide, after reading “Oh Wait… Are We Helicopter Parents? (Part 2).”

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