Posts Tagged ‘ family time ’

Empathy For Dads Who Can’t See Their Kids Everyday

Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I think it’s very important for me to make a regular habit of trying to imagine myself in other people’s shoes. That’s an ability called empathy, by the way.

The older I get, the more perspectives I gain, by seeing life through the eyes of those who have had different experiences than me. 

Something I think about sometimes is what it must be like for dads who are not able to see their kids on a daily basis; for whatever reason that may be.

I get to see you everyday. I get to experience life with you- even on those seemingly forgettable days where nothing particularly epic happens. But I am mindful to not take even those days for granted.

However, there a lot of dads who don’t get to see their kids except for certain days of the month.

It’s beyond sad for me to think about that; putting myself in that situation.

Where I work during the day at my H.R. job, I deal mostly with men-  many of which only see their kids on the weekends or every other weekend.

Maybe that’s why I am thinking about this today.

If I am honestly and vulnerably putting myself in their shoes, I see such a devastating version of my life; without you, without Mommy too.

You’re part of me; you’re half of me- literally.

How could I function without seeing half of me everyday; a half of me that needs and desires my certain fatherly influence on a regular basis?

That’s beyond a tragedy when I imagine it personally.

So I don’t take it for granted at all that our family lives in the same house and sees each other each day. 

I am thankful for what our family has- and I definitely don’t take it lightly. Because I make a habit of empathizing with others, the best I can. It puts things into perspective.

 

Love, Daddy

 

Add a Comment
Back To The Dadabase

5 Reasons To Play Chess With Your Child

Saturday, September 15th, 2012

21 months.

I predict that the classic game of chess is about to get real relevant in American pop culture, especially for children.

The book Microtrends explains that as a norm is established in modern society, a complimentary archaic version of that trend begins to surface to counter it.

Some of us, who don’t have nor want Internet on our phones, want to further unplug our lives from all the collective over-stimulation.

Therefore, chess is officially becoming cool. And it’s perfect for kids, despite any preconceived ideas you might have about it being as difficult as a child having to memorize their multiplication tables.

I can’t play Angry Birds nor can I tweet about a boring day at any given moment because I’m part of the counterculture of Generation Y that doesn’t have Internet on my phone, but I can find organic entertainment by pulling out my chess set with someone who is cool enough to play it with me.

It used to be that chess was a game for nerds and Russians, thanks to that “lucky beret” episode of Saved By The Bell from 1991 entitled “Check Your Mate.”

Well, look at me: I’m not a nerd and I’m definitely not Russian. So let me tell you my 5 reasons to play chess with your child. Chess promotes the following:

1. Uninterrupted quality time: Turn off the TV. Put your phone on silent. Make a chess date with your child. The game of chess has been around for centuries, and once you begin to play it, you catch a sense of simpler, yet still challenging times. Playing chess with your child gives you legitimate and yet nonchalant excuse to make time for your child.

2. Good conversations and laughter. I promise, chess leads to interesting conversations as well as unsuspecting humor. The game causes a person to interact with another human being in an activity with endless possibilities of how the winner will win, unlike many “roll the dice because it’s really just about chance anyway” types of predictable board games.

3. Problem-solving skills. A Kindergartner can definitely learn how to play chess and have fun doing it. I think the key to making this happen is just a willing parent inviting a child to play.

The game of chess forces its players to multi-task, plan ahead, and making real-time executive decisions. Chess disciplines the mind, which I say is ideal for children, as they are constantly yearning for fun new ways to be challenged..

4. Cheap, easy entertainment. Depending on whether the chess pieces are made from plastic, glass, or wood, you’ll probably spend somewhere from 9 to 30 bucks on a decent set. That’s not bad at all considering the monthly prices of satellite TV, which in the process of entertaining a family, often mutes out real communication between its members.

5.  Healthy, addicting habit. The best kind of habit you can help create for your child is one that encourages a bond between the two of you. Whether you’re a mom or a dad and whether your child is a boy or a girl, I believe that if you play a nightly or weekly game of chess with them, your kid will feel pretty darn special.

My own son isn’t even 2 years-old yet, so I still have a couple of years before chess can become “our thing” together. But for those parents whose kid is a little bit older, I invite you to take the “chess challenge.”

Become your child’s chess partner and see what grows of it. And remember, chess isn’t for nerds anymore! It’s for cool parents and cool kids.

Top image: Boy looking at a piece of chess, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Father and son playing chess, via Shutterstock.

Add a Comment
Back To The Dadabase