Posts Tagged ‘ Daughters ’

Raising My Son To See Females As Somebody’s Daughters, Not Objects

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

It’s no secret that I am perhaps the most… peculiar person at my office.

No, not just because I’m the token vegan, or the guy that refuses to use microwaves, or because I go mountain biking during my lunch break.

I’m also the guy that likes to unleash subliminal social experiments among my coworkers.

Last Friday, the new monthly coupon advertisements were delivered to the break room, featuring discounts for local businesses.

One of them is for a lodge-themed restaurant featuring scantily clad young women as the waitresses, who on the ad, all looked so happy to be wearing so little flannel. (Not to mention, the name of the restaurant is a play on words that is definitely not discreet about what part of the female body it is alluding to.)

I remember about a year ago, when word came out that the fairly new “breastaurant” chain was moving to the very Republican part of Nashville my office is located. There were people evidently trying to boycott that from happening.

As for me, the token Libertarian of the office, my stance was that if the free market financially supports a corny, degrading-to-women restaurant like that, then let it be.

Turns out, there are enough customers willing to support the place to keep it alive and well, because, afterall… “The food is really good there!” I am told.

Here’s where I’m going with this story: I am raising you to see women as… women. Not objects. I’m raising you to see them as somebody’s daughters.

Just to subliminally reinforce this concept to my coworkers, I printed out in size 10 font, the phrase “A.K.A. Somebody’s Daughters,” then cut it out and taped it underneath the restaurant’s logo and the picture of the uniformed models used for the ad.

When word finally got around this week who was behind the prank, because after all, everyone in the office saw those coupons laying there on the table all week, some were surprised it was me: A happily married 32 year-old man with a 3 year-old son.

I responded by saying, “What- did you assume it was an ultraconversative feminist?” (Whatever that means.)

Nope, it was a guy, who is raising his son to treat women with respect. I want to raise you as one less willing customer for a restaurant like that… no matter how good the “food” is.

On second thought, maybe I really am an ultraconservative feminist… if male Libertarians are allowed to be them?

Love,

Daddy

P.S. This is one of those letters that is to be reserved for when you’re older. But while I’ve got it on my mind, I wanted to give you this “life advice” today and I’ll just bookmark it for when the time is right for you to hear it. In the mean time, enjoy the simple life of being a 3 year-old, please!

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John Mayer’s Daughters Vs. Greg Wright’s Daddy Dates

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Eight months.

I love John Mayer’s music.  He shares my same love for the year 1983.  The first date my wife and I went on was to one of his concerts.  I will confidently buy every single album that he ever releases, knowing that John Mayer just can’t produce a dud.  When it comes to making music and writing songs, he’s undeniably a class act.

In 2005, John Mayer won a Grammy for his Top Ten hit song, “Daughters.”  The song contains the lyrics, “On behalf of every man looking out for every girl. You are the guide and the weight of her world. So fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do.”  He wrote the song completely on his own.  And it is definitely one well crafted and well written song.

However, I know to separate the music from the man.  Technically, John Mayer’s dating life is none of my business.  But after all, one of the most played albums in our house is Jack’s favorite Taylor Swift albumSpeak Now, which contains the song, “Dear John.”

After hearing the song the first 23 times, it became pretty clear to me that the song is most likely about the highly speculated, brief relationship between the then 19 year old Taylor Swift and the 32 year old John Mayer.  One of the most stand out lines in the song is, “Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home.  I should have known.”

Whether or not it should, it definitely bothers me that the man who wrote “Daughters” does not apply the song’s advice in his personal life.  It’s not just Taylor Swift that he’s messed with. Granted, it’s not a matter of whether Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift should have known better.  It’s a matter of John Mayer knowing better.

In the same way that Bentley is known as the infamous player/villain from the Ashley Hebert season of The Bachelorette, so John Mayer falls into this same category. Just like in his song, “Who Says,” where he nonchalantly states, “Who says I can’t get stoned? Call up a girl that I used to know. Fake love for an hour or so.”  This kind of talk just doesn’t sound like it should be coming from the guy who was intuitive enough to write “Daughters.”

I view John Mayer as a modern day King Solomon, having access to countless beautiful women, unending wealth and glorious fame. Yet as King Solomon admitted later in his life, in the book of Ecclesiastes, it was all meaningless.  Similarly, John Mayer admits in another one of his more well known songs from the same album, “something’s missing and I don’t know how to fix it.”

So while I think John Mayer is flawless when it comes to making music and writing songs, I recognize that there’s a disconnect between what he knows is truth and the way he actually treats the “daughters” he dates.

And that is why I am giving away a free copy of the book Daddy Dates to the first 5 readers who request it by leaving a comment on this post.  I will need your mailing address, whether you leave it in the comment itself or would prefer to email it to me (nickshell1983@hotmail.com) right after you leave the comment.

The nonfiction book  Daddy Dates is written by Greg Wright, who regularly takes his four daughters on “dates.”  In other words, he is making a very conscious effort to spend individual, quality time with his daughters, assuring them that they are beautiful, loved, and worthy of being loved.  Coming from the guy whose mission is to positively re-brand fatherhood (I’m referring to myself,) I admire Greg Wright for what he is doing.

Therefore, I proudly give away his book here on The Dadabase.

*Within an hour or so of this post being published, I got my 5 winners for the book.  Hint: When I give away books here on The Dadabase, it’s always on Thursday nights around 8PM Central Time.  But not every Thursday…

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