Posts Tagged ‘ brown ’

Sour Brown Is The New Peanut Butter

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I’ve always had this idea for a Saturday Night Live skit, in which a group of adults speak dialogue based on the previously recorded conversations of young children.

It could potentially be hilarious, as 3 year-old such as yourself come up with some off-the-wall stuff without even trying.

Yesterday when I picked you up from school, you informed me that before we left, you needed to pick out a prize from the treasure box, since your daily report indicated you were well-behaved and took your nap.

As we looked inside the treasure box, there were stickers, actions figures based on the KinderCare mascot, and Dum Dum lollipops.

While I’ve established myself as the most hard-core dad in a 50 mile radius when it comes to preaching the evils of kids eating petroleum-based food dyes, I give you some grace when it comes to special treats you get at school; especially when it’s a very small amount, and based on good behavior.

Last week you got to try your first Dum Dum, which was sour apple flavored: You called it “sour green.”

Yesterday you chose a brown Dum Dum. With joy, as I was carrying you out the door as we left, you proclaimed: “Daddy, maybe it’s a sour brown one!”

I couldn’t stop laughing. You didn’t know what I thought was so funny, but you joined in the laughter.

The concept of “sour brown” is… Willy Wonka-ish.

“Sour” and “brown” are such an odd match.

Seeing that you had such an open mind on the subject, I didn’t tell you which flavor the brown Dum Dum actually was; I wanted to get your natural take on it.

“Daddy, this sour brown one is peanut butter… Daddy, it doesn’t sound good. I don’t like it.”

Interesting. I could see how peanut butter could taste like root beer, to a 3 year-old.

However, you weren’t completely convinced that the brown Dum Dum was actually sour brown or peanut butter, so you asked me to be sure.

I figured that trying to explain to you what root beer was would be too confusing, so I just told you it was soda flavored. Your response:

“Daddy, soda isn’t healthy. I don’t like the way it sounds.”

I now realize you haven’t learned the word “tastes” yet; you use “sounds” instead.

So basically, when it’s all said and done, sour brown is the new peanut butter, and you don’t like the way that sounds.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Extreme Makeover: House Painting Edition

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Ten months.

I think the best way to begin is to share a few things that I would rather do than paint two bedrooms with vaulted ceilings:

1) For the next three months, I would have to replace my bio picture here on The Dadabase (featured right) with one where I have an un-ironic mustache.

2) For three nights in a row, I would have to sleep on one of those inflatable alligator pool toys in the middle of a swimming pool in Wisconsin, where it’s colder. Also, I would have to sleep fully dressed so that when I regularly fell into the cold water, I would remain that much colder.

3) Fly to Sacramento and back with my infant son, again.

Some of our very good friends have been kind to take us in as we have waited for the renters in our townhouse to move out. This weekend, we will finally move back into it and make it our own.

For me, making our townhouse our own means the three of us moving ourselves and our stuff back into it. And the guest room officially becomes Jack’s bedroom. I would say that pretty much makes it our own.

But my wife helped me realized that in order to truly make our townhouse our own, we would need to paint the two bedrooms.

It didn’t matter that neither of us had ever actually painted the interior of a house before, nor did we have any painting supplies or equipment, or even someone to watch Jack on short notice. Painting had to be done to make this townhouse of ours our own.

On Saturday, I was able to recruit my highly experienced friend Jason to teach me how to tape off the walls and how to, basically, paint a room. He also had a ladder for me to get the job done with. Then the next day, our friends who we have been staying with watched Jack as Jill and I tackled his bedroom.

Ultimately, something I have realized about my wife and I is this: When we really want to get a job done, no matter how outlandish and impractical it may seem, we find a way to get it done.

We did it; painted both bedrooms (with vaulted ceilings) within a weekend. My preconceived ideas about painting were accurate: painting is a miserable experience. But we survived it!

I want to brag on my wife’s ability to pick out colors. For our bedroom, she chose a very light green named “River Reed,” which has a breezy Caribbean feel  to it. Jack’s bedroom is Ranch Mink; a chocolate brown. We’re calling Jack’s bedroom his “boy cave.”

Want to see finished pictures of our fine work? Wait until we move in this weekend and I will surely deliver.

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