Dadvice #9: Regrets On The Cry It Out Method
It has officially been over a year now that I decided to incorporate the “cry it out” method to get my then infant son to sleep through the night.
Has it worked? Oh yes.
Do I have any regrets? Absolutely.
My regrets are that I waited until he was 7 months old. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t do it any later than at 3 months old.
But when you’re a first time parent, it’s hard to know who to listen to about whether or not to do “cry it out.”
You become instantly avalanched by blogs and books that completely disagree with each other. You have to choose a side.
Well, I ended up writing two separate blog posts on the subject to simply explain and demonstrate how it worked for me.
In the first one, Is It Wrong To Let Your Baby Cry It Out? I received this hateful comment:
On July 7, 2011 at 10:03 am
“Actually, what you have done is not teach him to sleep well, but teach him that, no matter how hard he cries, how scared and alone he feels, or what his needs may be, you will not be there for him. You have taught him to give up hope that mommy or daddy will be there for him no matter what, and to just give up trying. I see a major difference in the clinginess and dependency in kids that were let to cry it out, compared to those that were not. Kids go through stages and need us more in some then others. Congratulations!”
And then I received this condescending jewel of a comment in Getting My Infant To Sleep Through The Night.
On August 9, 2011
“Ummm infants are supposed to eat during the night. Not only because their tummies are small but preventing a super deep sleep cycle helps to prevet SiDS. The CIO method has been shown to cause distress in infants and leads to learned helplessness. It’s disappointing that parents don’t realize that having children is a sacrafice to themselves. Having children means less sleep. It’s called being a parent. I’m very disappointed in your touting crying it out. I’ve got two kids and I’m terribly tired a lot of the time but I’ll never leave my baby to CIO in a room by herself. She’s a BABY. I wish you and your wife would realize that your child is a baby and needs you.”
So what? There are extreme parents out there who think that way.
And then there are normal, down-to-Earth parents like me who didn’t traumatize their kid by using the “cry it out” method to get them to sleep through the night.
Now my son is 20 months old. I feel no guilt or shame for what I’ve done. Because he’s turned out just fine, a year later.
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