“Your Son Looks Just Like You!” Said No One Ever

19 months.

“Jack is just a little version of Nick!” is something people never say, nor should they say. Whenever I post a new picture of my son and me on Facebook, no one compares the two of us. Because, really, there’s nothing to compare.

I look like the token Jewish actor from any and every sitcom you’ve ever seen in your life and my son looks like he stepped out of a time machine from the 194o’s… from Norway.

While I’m an olive-complected (I’ve got a green tint to me; it’s more noticeable when I wear black) and have dark brown hair, my son has a porcelain shine to his skin, along with undeniable blue eyes and (for now) blonde hair.

My physique makes me the kind of guy you’d expect to play the super hero before he turns into the super hero.

Meanwhile, my son, who is in the 75% for weight, is a strong and sturdy boy who inspires people to ask me what sports I think he will play when he gets older.

(Rugby, wrestling, football… all of the above.)

Yesterday I was at the pool with my son and my wife. While it didn’t feel like anyone was staring at us, I thought how if anyone there was people-watching us, they would surely assume our son was adopted.

It doesn’t matter to me or bother me that my son is keeping alive the rarest genes of my wife and me. It’s simply something I’ve noted from the beginning. And now at 19 months, the lack of physical similarity is still very evident.

Yeah, it’s weird and it’s funny to me, but for some strange reason I sort of like the unpredictability of it.

Every time friends hang out with us who haven’t seen us in a while, they always look at Jack, then at my wife and I, then back at Jack. Then they say us, “Who do you think he looks like?”

They say this thinking that because he’s our flesh and blood, we’ll have some magic intuitiveness that helps us see some resemblance they apparently don’t.

Well, no magic here, folks.

I imagine there’s a decent chance that as my toddler son transforms more into a real boy and eventually a young man, he will begin to look at least a little bit more like me.

Or at least his Mommy.

Either way, it’s safe to say that at least, physically, he’s no “mini-me.”

I think if he and I were given a “resemblance score” we would get 0%.

But hey, I’m open for a second opinion.

If you, the reader, see more of a resemblance than I do, let me know.

Would you give us a score higher than 0%?

 

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  1. by amie

    On July 8, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Well, we do have an adopted son and I still get the “He looks just like you!”, even though he doesn’t, unless you count a double chin (he’s 6 months old; I don’t have that excuse) and same hair and eye color. People are always looking for a point of reference and they see what they want to see. In preparation for adoption, we learned that as our baby gets older, so many of those traits that are just YOURS and your wife’s will become more apparent (good word!) and those will remove some of the emphasis from the physical features. The way he talks, the way he walks, dresses, etc., will speak more to his parentage than his looks.

  2. by Nick Shell

    On July 8, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    I know what you mean! It’s so hard to tell if someone’s child is adopted because my mind automatically finds similarities anyway.

  3. by Dustin Brinnon

    On July 8, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    There are some undeniable similarities though they are features people tend not to notice at a glance. These similarities are in the brow, lips, and ears. Though the two of you may not have the same color of eyebrows, the shape is similar. As far as lips go, the shape of your lips is similar as well as the shape of your mouths. Finally, your ears may not be the exact shape, but there are similar characteristics on how they are shaped above the lobe.

    It is easy to say these features can be overlooked, but I figured I’d throw them out there so the rating would be a little above a 0%.

  4. by Nick Shell

    On July 8, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Dustin, you have a better eye for noticing such details. Thanks!

  5. by c

    On July 9, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Most babies’ noses don’t look like their parents’…
    But I agree with number 3 – your ears have similarities, your chins are the same, and I think his nose has a chance of looking like yours, too – assuming that it looked similar when you were his size. He also has a similar look about his eyes. (One of my favorite things to do is figure out which parent a kid looks like, and I analyze EVERYTHING..)
    Most people look only at the coloring, though.

  6. by jane

    On July 9, 2012 at 9:56 am

    The first time I saw your son and your wife’s picture, I just thought this boy resembles his mommy so much! My son, who is one year older than Jack, also takes after me more than his dad, except his limbs and forehead. I personally think, boys tend to look more like their mommies, and girls turn out more resembling their dads.

  7. by Amanda

    On July 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    I actually was going to say just what Dustin did! Nice to have a little validation that I wasn’t just stretching there. :-)

  8. by Kidlet's Dad

    On July 12, 2012 at 11:32 am

    I completely understand this one. I’m biracial (mother white Canadian/European and father black west indian) and my wife is white Canadian/European with dark hair. Our son looks like your average white kid with sandy coloured straight hair. Only the ease with which he tans sets him apart.

    Interestingly my brother’s son has a similar appearance, but with red(!) hair… we both chalk this up to our very white, very red-headed mother.

    Ah…. genetics.

  9. by porsche sunglasses

    On July 17, 2012 at 9:01 am

    I see what you mean, read both articles and he does look like your wife a lot. She must be happy about that, my wife is always mad because we have the opposite situation, my son looks just like me and has only her hair :)

  10. by Giselle

    On July 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Yes, you guys look alike. The shape of your lips, the ears, the forhead. I think he looks more like you than your wife.

    Don’t worry, I get this all the time. My son doesn’t really look like my husband. Our son has darker complexion ; however, I see certain similarities on them like the lips, the nose, their body.

    Some people say, he doesn’t look like non of you. Or others say, he looks more like the mom.. Some people say he looks like my husband (but a minority)

  11. by Gaby

    On July 23, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    I have been asked twice if I am my son’s babysiter. You can imagine i Do not lool at all like him. And I do not care. But I wish I could show you a picture. Because sometimes I still can not believe I have a blondie son with blue eyes and pale skin.

  12. by Desiree'

    On July 27, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    He has your eye shape. Everyone says my Jack looks just like me but I just see his dad.

  13. by Karen

    On July 31, 2012 at 11:29 am

    There are some people who always look like, well, themselves, but for the most part kids change a ton when they are little. When my son was born everyone swore he looked like my husband but I knew he looked like baby me and sure enough, almost five years later, everyone says how much my son resembles me. Our daughter looked exactly like our son as a newborn but smaller. At a year old now I think she may indeed take after my husband but we’ll see. We have the benefit of similar genetic backgrounds so we knew we would have pasty white children with blue eyes and blonde or brown hair (it’s blonde now but will probably turn as they get older). We look for specific features like the chin, eyes, mouth to figure out who they look like. Who knows who they will resemble as they become adults?

  14. by Karen

    On July 31, 2012 at 11:31 am

    BTW – my older sister was born with curly black hair and brown eyes so pale they were almost yellow and an olive complection. She still has the skin tone but her eyes are a “normal” brown now and her hair is medium/light brown like mine and straight as an arrow.

  15. by Lisa Enlow

    On August 23, 2012 at 6:03 am

    I think he’s got your nose. Regardless, he’s obviously a beautiful, healthy, well-loved boy. You are blessed!

  16. by Nick Shell

    On August 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Thank you for your kind words, Lisa!

  17. by Jenny lesko

    On October 16, 2012 at 10:27 am

    I know how you feel. My husband and I both and still trying to see who our son looks like. We have wry dark brown hair, and low and behold Ethan came out as a blond haired, blue eyed baby boy. People say he is a mix but I still don’t see it. Genetics are a funny thing I guess. Our kids could get any looks or features for many many generations down the line