5 Reasons This Dad Despises New Year’s Resolutions

One year.

Today I’m assuming the role of a motivational speaker. So imagine yourself at some big pretentious conference out in Seattle, having just enjoyed a ham sandwich boxed lunch (it was included in the price).

I’m not so sure why I approved pork for lunch when I myself am kosher, but let’s move past that little glitch in our mutually shared daydream.

Equipped with laser pointer in hand and appropriately slicked back hair, I run up on stage while Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” blares on the Peavey speakers, after some other guy you’ve never heard of has just introduced me to the audience to make me seem more important and famous than I am.

Here are the notes I would be speaking from, regarding the topic, Five Reasons This Dad Despises New Year’s Resolutions:

1. New Year’s Resolutions promote procrastination. If it’s really that important to you, you would make your life change today, right now; whether it’s to start exercising and eating right, to stop smoking or cursing, or to start going to church. If this proposed life change were so darn important, it wouldn’t be able to wait until January.

2. They’re simply ineffective. I have never met anyone in my entire life who has ever made a big life change because of a New Year’s Resolution. They are a quirky American tradition that hold no traditionally proven outcome.

3. They direct your focus on conforming along with the world’s agenda, not your own. Why decide to make a major change based on a calendar date that someone else chose for you? After all, this is a personal issue; so treat it like one.

4. They set you up for failure. Given the horrible track record of New Year’s Resolutions, along with the likelihood that you’ve already attempted this feat before in previous years, why reinforce the idea that this life change of yours really is too hard, based on failed attempts before. In other words, change the date from January 1st to today.

5. New Year’s Resolutions have simply become a joke. Throughout the next couple of weeks as you hear coworkers and friends ask each other, “So what’s on your list of resolutions for 2012?” notice the underlying tone that seems to say: It’s not like it matters anyway. And we secretly know this.

As a dad, it’s crucial for me to be the example. I’m obsessed with keeping my word and following through with my decisions. I want my son to always know that despite my long list of imperfections and downfalls, when I said I was going to do something (or not do it) that my actions would immediately and permanently speak louder than words.

Image (top): 2012 Goals via Shutterstock.

Unexpected Bonus!

Maybe your intended New Year’s Resolution was going to be to get your kids to read more. In that case, you can win a free book right now called Mary’s Son: A Tale of Christmas. The book, which is the winner of three Mom’s Choice awards, is a modern-day story in which a mysterious old man named Nicholas shares the true meaning of Christmas with two young people.

You know the drill. Just be the first person to A) leave a comment on this post saying you want it and B) send me an email including your mailing address to nickshell1983@hotmail.com. Just one lucky winner, folks.

*Congrats to Melodee H. of Joplin, MO for winning this!

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  1. by Melodee

    On December 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I would love this book, please!

  2. by Megan

    On December 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions.

    I want the book!