Has Facebook Turned Me Into A Narcissist And/Or A Snoop?

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

If Facebook itself were a game to be won, it would be very difficult to determine the winner. It would be even harder to become the winner.

Here’s what I mean.

I would think that the true “winner of the game of Facebook” would be the person least perceived by their friends as a narcissist, yet somehow isn’t secretly a snoop.

Maybe I should create a Venn diagram? (See below.)

Let me just say, I definitely am no Facebook winner.

However, I don’t want to be identified as either a narcissist or a snoop… but if I outright deny that I’m neither, doesn’t that just prove I’m a narcissist?

Since last June, I have made a point to spend less than 5 minutes a day on Facebook- and my life has become better for it. (Narcissist comment?)

Basically, I’m usually on there just long enough each day to post pictures of our family, see if I received any new notifications, and take a look at a friend or family member’s profile if I’m wondering what they’re up to. (Narcissist comment?)

Then I get the heck out of there, before I’m tempted to make a divisive comment about politics, religion, or food.

But even then, I could easily see how I could be perceived as a narcissist. I mean, seriously- everyday I post a new picture of you, or a selfie of our family, or a story about you.

To some, I very well could be that annoying guy who is perceived as trying to make it look like he has the perfect family and the perfect life, thanks to the stage of the everlasting talent show/high school reunion of Facebook.

While I’m grateful for what I’ve been blessed with, I quickly and openly recognize that my life is far from perfect. (Narcissist comment?)

However, I do believe in the importance in being a positive influence in society; which to some, can come across as being a show-off or self-obsessed. 

And then on the other side of the spectrum, if I’m not a narcissist, am I a snoop?

If I’m not a person who is perceived as tooting my own horn all day with happy pictures and stories, am I instead the opposite- a person who is quietly snooping on everyone else, without giving out too much information about my own life? (Because that’s not fair, right?)

I wonder if I can get away with admitting that it can be very challenging to scroll down my Facebook feed without having some kind of judgmental thought about someone who is clearly crying out for attention; whether it’s a negative rant, a duckface selfie, or a “look at my awesome life!” update.

Full circle. Am I that happy narcissistic person? Or the snooping friend? Or am I simply both, by default?

I’m not good at playing the game of Facebook. I’m better off just sitting on the bench- throwing in enough sporadic comments and pictures that are positive and that don’t mention questions or comments regarding politics, religion, or food; that way I’m still contributing without oversharing and inviting people to unfriend me.

All I know is to keep doing what I do: Open the window to friends and family to let them see what is going on in my life, which is you and Mommy.

But (fellow) snoops are welcome too.

 

Love,

Daddy

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