Non-Petroleum Candies Melt In Your Bed, Not In Your Hand
2 years, 10 months.
I imagine it’s pretty typical for parents to reward/bribe their child with M&M’s during the process of potty training.
However, we’ve watched a few too many documentaries on Netflix to let you eat candy that contains petroleum-based dyes, like M&M’s do.
Instead, we found that Kroger now has their own brand of healthier (and less chemical friendly) alternatives to classic favorites.
After all, no one willingly chooses to eat petroleum… yet the FDA approves it as a food additive.
Just like with the beaver [body parts] in vanilla and strawberry flavorings…
But Kroger’s brand, called Simple Truth, makes what they call “Candy Coated Milk Chocolate Drops.”
Basically, they’re M&M’s without petroleum and tar ingredients. Instead, they’re colored with vegetable juice.
So, the deal is, Mommy lets you have two of them every time you go potty… on the potty.
Saturday night, you convinced her to let you sleep with the bag, which only contained about 5 remaining candies.
Mommy trusted you not to eat the candy, but to simply hold the bag all night, like you do your monster trucks and trains.
And you did.
You woke up in a haze Sunday morning, as Mommy and I walked into your room after hearing you mutter something about cats.
There you were, wrapped up tightly in your blanket, with your arms tucked down inside.
As we unwrapped you like a stuffed burrito, we discovered the bag of chocolate candy, still clenched tightly in your grip.
Well, you didn’t eat them, just as Mommy trusted you wouldn’t.
But as you look at the comparative picture above, you can see that your candies melted to mush in the night.
Good thing we had another bag ready for you in the pantry.
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