My Son Doesn’t Know What A Gun Is

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

Your Auntie Jenny and her family had a special gift ready for you as soon as they got here to meet us on our annual family vacation to Sacramento.

It’s the Imaginext Sky Racers Twister Jet.

And it’s actually pretty awesome! I’ve never seen giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet before…

In fact, that’s so creative of an idea I’m sort of jealous I didn’t get hired by Imaginext to come up with ideas for toys!

It’s good timing because Mommy and I are planning to take you to your very first movie in a theater: Disney’s Planes.

So your Twister Jet serves as not only your first real toy plane, but also as a way to pretend you’re flying one of the planes from the new Planes movie once you officially become obsessed with them… which you will.

Your cousin Matt and I were talking about the “practicality aspects” of having two giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet, when he happened to look down into the wading pool full of toys you’ve been playing in and saw what he thought was a toy gun, only to learn that in reality it was one of  your girl cousins’ toy hair dryers.

“Does Jack like toy guns?” Matt asked.

That was the first time I had considered the fact, that honestly, you don’t even know what a gun is.

It’s not that I’ve purposely sheltered you from toy guns; water guns, in particular.

But even with your water table on our back patio, you don’t need water “guns” because you have several toy animals that squirt water instead.

By no means am I endorsing any kind of agenda either against or for guns, especially because for the past month as I’ve been working on a letter to you called “Never Talk About Politics, Religion, Or Peoples’ Food,” I’ve been trying to deliberately not perpetuate America’s polarizing tendencies, especially in social media.

At some point, you’ll be old enough to know what guns are. You’re not even 3 years old yet.

As for now, we’ll just stick with chain saws.





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