My 2 Year-Old Drives Like A Mean Old Man

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

We have been pumping you up for weeks now about Shipwrecked, an indoor playhouse in the Nashville area.

You indeed had plenty of fun- you are already asking when you can go back:

“I go Shipwrecked again? I drive the car? It’s mine?”

However, judging by the look on your face in this picture, the word “fun” wouldn’t necessarily be the first adjective to come to mind.

How about crotchety? Irritable? Cranky?

Despite a big pirate ship playground, train tables, dress up rooms, and toys all over the place, you spent about 97% of your time on the Fred Flintstone-style Lightning McQueen car, which you were nearly too big for.

If this picture of you depicts a 2 year-old boy who claimed ownership over one of the playground’s community cars, then used it to plow through the toys and other kids, causing Daddy to serve as some sort of safety watchman as I followed you back and forth across the place, then I would say the picture above serves the event justice.

If by chance the picture depicts a 2 year-old boy who drove like a mean old-man on his way to beat the lunch crowd at Shoney’s, then this picture captured the moment accurately.

So why were you only in the car for 97% percent of the time? That’s because you spent the other 3% of the time in the playhouse’s two ball pits.

But each time you slipped out of the car, it was a paranoia-laced situation.

You had to carefully shut the car door, discouraging any other kid from stealing your ride.

You always parked two steps away from the ball pit, then leaped overboard, like in every movie I’ve never seen about international spies.

Fortunately, for my sake, I didn’t have to break up any toddler fist fights. That’s because no other kid dared get near “your” car.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

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