Lost In Translation: “I Want Jesus To Change My Diaper!”

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

You can speak; and I’m not referring to a selection of the most necessary phrases to get through life as a 2 year-old. I mean that Mommy and I can carry on an actual conversation with you and you understand what we are asking or telling you.

Yes, you can participate in legitimate conversations now. Granted, there are some limitations; some concepts are just too complex for you to make much sense of right now.

I’ve been telling you how, here lately, you’ve been really picky about which roles Mommy and I can do. As I mentioned, I am now your wardrobe assistant/technician, whereas that used to be Mommy’s job.

This past Saturday the three of us were so busy playing in your bedroom, swinging the shaggy bolster pillow at each other and pretending that your Thor play tent was a ship on the stormy sea, that a couple of hours passed before we realized your diaper was pretty wet.

So we asked you, “Jack, who do you want to change your diaper, Mommy or Daddy?”

Your instant response: “Jesus!” The look on your face was completely serious.

It caught me so off guard, I hesitated as I attempted to answer you:

“Well… uh… Jesus can watch… but it needs to be either Mommy or me who changes your diaper today.”

You stood your ground:

“I want Jesus! I want Jesus to change my diaper!”

Thinking back now, I can’t even remember whether it was Mommy or me who actually changed your diaper. I just know it’s a very bizarre thing to think about. I mean, how do I explain to you why Jesus can’t change your diaper?

That’s a tough one for a 2 year-old to process.

I started thinking about how Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine. Then I started seriously thinking about whether any of His unrecorded miracles included changing toddlers’ diapers. You really got me thinking, kid.

This is only the beginning. You are going to be saying some pretty hilarious things without trying, as you’re new to this “real conversation” concept.

I will be here to help you as you get lost in translation. I will try to help you, at least.





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  1. by Linda McDonald

    On February 20, 2013 at 12:44 am

    That is precious!

  2. [...] almost even freaky now that you and I have mostly legitimate conversations every day. You definitelyknow your first and last name now. You’re becoming a human [...]