Of All The Siblings Who Never Existed

2 years.

Dear Jack,

There’s the near daily discussion between Mommy and I about the possibility, in the future, at least a year from now, of us possibly trying to have another baby. Yes, that would mean a younger brother or sister for you.

We can easily think of good reasons we would want you to be an only child. We can also easily think of good reasons for you to have a sibling.

As far as why you should have a sibling, there’s one weird reason that keeps popping up in my head; one that Mommy has never mentioned.

So I guess I have to file it in the “Daddy’s Deep Thoughts” folder. Here it is:

I think about all the potential siblings who would never be born if we just stopped with you.

It just seems weird to only have one more. Why not two more? Why not five? Why not ten?

At some point for financial, logistical, and other practical reasons, that “one more kid” finally becomes one too many.

How am I supposed to know who the final little brother or sister is supposed to be?

Half of me is wired like Jim Bob Duggar, while the other half is wired like every parent in the history of the world who was content with their decision to only have one child.

I mean, to a certain degree, God leaves it up to Mommy and I to decide how many more lives to bring into the existence of this world.

Really? God is okay with my input in that decision?

No matter how many (or few!) brothers or sisters you end up having, or not having at all, much of that responsibility falls on your parents.

We have less than a decade to decide…for us, for you, and for all the siblings who will never exist.




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  1. by Amber

    On December 8, 2012 at 8:46 am

    If not for the pictures of your son (who is NOT my son), you could be my husband. Stop listening to our conversations! :)

  2. by Stephen

    On December 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    When his hair is covered he looks so much like you. I think it’s the smile. (And rest of the face)

  3. by littleduckies

    On December 10, 2012 at 3:22 am

    I agree with Stephen – Jack looks like you, except for the hair color.

    And, does G-d give us a free hand in deciding how many children to have? At some point, the choice gets taken away: How many people did an abortion, or used birth control, and then found that when they did want a child, they couldn’t have one?
    I think you should give Jack a sibling. At least one. He will help take care of the baby, he will love the baby, he will get annoyed at the baby. And after you and your generation are gone, he will appreciate that baby even more.

    We have that sleeper, just with blue instead of orange, and a fire truck instead of a dump truck. It is THE favorite pajamas.

  4. by Jimmy Rainey

    On December 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    So what are you implying is the “Weirdest Reason That Trumps All The Rest?” I read the article and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. The only one I find curious is the one about God determining how many children you have. But I largely don’t believe God has anything to do with day-to-day decisions, and if so, why does He/She make welfare moms out of all these 14 and 15 year old girls who believe they shouldn’t do anything but watch TV all day and collect their monthly food stamps.

  5. by Alli

    On December 10, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    What about all of the siblings that already exist and are waiting for their families to say “I choose you. We are your forever family!” I wish adoption were at least a part of the conversation. There are thousands upon thousands of children that God already put on this earth, but are waiting for families to show them what it means to be loved and cherished. Please don’t be another Duggar. God needs responsible families to care for the orphans He chose to put here already.

  6. by Jenna

    On December 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Jimmy Rainey, what makes it all the “welfare mom’s” fault? What about the welfare dad-and what about the mom who has 4 kids, then with her 5th something went wrong in her life, and now she’s on welfare? Don’t be so judgmental, God gives us all free will. Children are a blessing, regardless of how many you have-to some, their children are their sole joy in life.