My Toddler’s [Bleep] Potty Mouth

19 months.

My son’s pronunciation of words is much limited right now. For example, “cookie” sounds a lot different when it comes out of his mouth. In fact, it’s pretty difficult for me to keep a straight face. Why?

He hasn’t learned the “k” sound yet. And the “oo” vowel sound is more of a short “i” sound.

I’ll put it this way. “Cookie” becomes a word that rhymes with “pity” but starts with a “t” instead of a “p”.

On top of that, when Jack asks for a cookie after dinner, he generally whines for it. Hearing a toddler whine for that is pretty hilarious.

But sometimes, his “k” sound is more of an “sh” sound, making “cookie” another equally censor-worthy word in the land of toddlers.

So either it sounds like he’s upset because he wants to return to the early days of being breastfed or he’s upset because he has a dirty diaper.

Inappropriate and therefore wildly entertaining. Because I evidently I have the mind of a Junior High boy again.

It’s kind of hard not to when your son tries so honestly to ask for a cookie yet is working his way down George Carlin’s list of “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.”

I’m guessing every toddler goes through their accidental stage of cursing like a sailor.

According to my mom, back when I was 2, I had this toy 18 wheeler truck that I stored my Hot Wheels in. Evidently I carried it around with me everywhere, referring to it as my “fruck.” Pretty close call for 1983.

Alright, so let me hear it. Tell me about your kid’s unintentional profanities, if you dare.

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  1. by Karen

    On June 21, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    We’re currently having to hold back giggles.. I mean… Gently correct (sometimes) the words fork and shirt. That r-controlled vowel midword trips Anna up almost every time. But this too, shall pass.

  2. by Nick Shell

    On June 21, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    That sounds exciting! I never realized how many everyday words can so easily become R-rated. Thanks Karen :)

  3. by @Wolf_Mommy

    On June 22, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    My son said “Foo-fees” for “goldfish” so much that we also began referring to his Favourite snack the same way. I was a little heart-broke. When he learned to pronounce them correctly. I sometimes still call them “Foo-fees” to which my now 3 yr old diligently corrects me.

  4. by Becca

    On June 22, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Taught my 17 mo old son that flowers are ”pretty.” Be calls them ”titty!”

  5. by Renee

    On June 22, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    My 20 mos says TV ‘titty’ :)

  6. by Mary

    On June 22, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    I have to agree with Karen on the “r” sound. It was hilarious the first time my daughter enthusiatically asked for a fork at dinner. She now can make her r sounds, however know fork sounds more like fart.

  7. by Caitlyn

    On June 23, 2012 at 12:19 am

    My four year old step daughter doesn’t mispronounce, she just swears like a sailor. The part that gets me is that it’s with the proper inflection and in the right context. Bad words in tiny voices just don’t sound so bad!

    However, when she was 2, she loved to go swimming in her “baby soup” (bathing suit) and all bumps and bruises needed a “man-daid”. We had some fun with those for a while

  8. by Laura

    On June 25, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    My 3 year old daughter Alix, who has speech apraxia, so has problems articulating words, is beyond hilarious at times. She was just taught, by he older siblings, “ring around the rosy.” When she gets to the ashes, ashes part, well…..I think it’s quite obvious what is said. Although her version DOES make more sense when you think about it. I mean at the end of the song you are supposed to fall on your A** So in all technicalities, she has it right.

  9. by Carlos

    On July 24, 2012 at 2:32 am

    My 1 1/2 year old says “shit”, and he says it during “appropriate” instances. Like when he hears something fall on the floor, he’ll go “shi” (he can’t pronounce the ‘t’). When he doesn’t want to eat something he’ll say it. When he hears a loud noise like someone shouting, he’ll say it. When he gets upset he says it. Sometimes he says it over and over again, like ten times in a row. It’s mortifying when we’re out and he starts cursing like a sailor. We’ve tried to get him to say “Oh” instead, but so far it hasn’t stuck.

  10. [...] Half your life ago, which was a year and half ago, I wrote “My Toddler’s [Bleep] Potty Mouth.” [...]

  11. [...] Half your life ago,which was a year and half ago, I wrote “My Toddler’s [Bleep] Potty Mouth.” [...]