My Best Friend is a Girl

Eight months.

We have been told more than a few times that we look like brother and sister.  Nope, we’re best friends. Oh yeah, and we happen to be married, too.

(Pictured right: St. Patrick’s Day 2007- We had been dating for about a month.)

Having spent my teenage years during The Nineties, the music I will always truly love the most is from the grunge and alternative era. In fact, I proudly continue to buy the new albums of those same bands that are still around like Counting Crows, Live, Matchbox Twenty (Rob Thomas), and Third Eye Blind.  And that is why I continue to remain a huge fan of Weezer. For many, if Weezer was ever relevant in any way, it was in 1995 with their hit “Buddy Holly.”

But as long as each year Weezer releases yet another self-titled or bizarrely named new album, I will surely be digging it. Yesterday in the car I was listening to their song “My Best Friend,” which never really stood out to me before.  But as I listened to the lyrics, I thought of my wife:

“You are such a blessing and I won’t be messing with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness. You’re my best friend and I love you… I’m here right beside you. I will never leave you.”

And it hit me: My wife really is my best friend!

But it’s not simply a romanticized idea. In fact, the thing that actually helps me to truly grasp the concept of my wife being my best friend is by removing any romantic aspects from our relationship. It’s a struggle, but if for a moment, I view my wife and myself not as a woman and man, but instead just two souls, I can catch a glimpse of us how we are best friends in addition to being married and in love.

Of course, both of us do have our close, same-gendered friends that we talk to.  And that’s very important. But as a married couple, we refuse to let much time go by if we sense that the other is “in a moment” where they need some empathy or direction. As I always say, we strongly value communication in our marriage.

Ultimately, being best friends in a marriage often means transcending the romantic elements of the relationship. Sure, it still includes and depends on those necessary romantic elements, but it’s so much more than being in love.

I guess for me, the only way I could have ever been married was to know that I had found and was marrying my best friend.  And that’s exactly what happened to me.

Our Timeline:

October 5th, 2006: we met for the first time at a taping of CMT Crossroads

February 5th, 2007: our first date at a John Mayer concert

January 14th, 2008: I proposed

July 5th, 2008: our wedding day

November 16th, 2010: our son was born

All pictures with the “JHP” logo were taken by Joe Hendricks Photography:



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