Posts Tagged ‘
stranger danger ’
Friday, July 13th, 2012
Well, of course he was. Psychotic pedophile Jerry Sandusky has a “type” of boy he seems to prefer to rape, molest and devour, including his adopted sons who were tormented from about the time they were 8 years old. (That seems to be the old perv’s sweet spot.)
I just watched Matt Sandusky in his testimony, he actually seems kind of envious when he aged out of Jerry Sandusky’s clutches. He didn’t know any better but all these little boys loved Jerry Sandusky and he betrayed them all in the worst way possible.
Matt 33, was adopted by Jerry and Dottie Sandusky as an adult, after going to live with the family as a foster child. He was prepared to testify at Jerry Sandusky’s trial about years of abuse. [Old photograph of Matt Sandusky, Photo Right]
During testimony at trial, Victim 4 told jurors that one time Jerry Sandusky began touching him during a shower, Matt Sandusky was present, but left the shower when the assault began.
And then there’s foster son #2. Didn’t know about him — did you?
EJ Sandusky, also adopted, is no longer an assistant football coach at West Chester University, near Philadelphia. He has 19 years of experience as a college coach. He graduated from Penn State in 1992 and played football.
EJ has not spoken publicly about Jerry Sandusky’s arrest or conviction, but he’s left his post at the University.
Jerry Sandusky, the 68-year-old retired defensive coach for Penn State, was found guilty of 45 counts of sexually abusing 10 boys over a period of 15 years on June 23. The charges filed last month carry a minimum 60-year sentence and 442 years maximum. [Jerry Sandusky, Photo Right.]
“Our most saddening and sobering finding is the total disregard for the safety and welfare of Sandusky’s child victims,” said Louis J. Freeh, the former federal judge and director of the F.B.I. who oversaw the investigation.
“The most powerful men at Penn State failed to take any steps for 14 years to protect the children who Sandusky victimized.”
How many more lives can this one evil man, Jerry Sandusky, ruin? His legacy of brutality and devastation will live on long after that dirty old man does. He’s a physically big guy and he purposely chooses these sweet, defenseless little victims who loved and depended on him.
Do you have anything to add about fostering teenagers, adoption or Jerry Sandusky? I hate his guts.
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Friday, April 27th, 2012
After I published this very specific sex abuse crime story last month about a new adoptive father in Ohio, I got a flood of very brave and candid replies from you readers. I wanted to share a letter from Patty, who is hyper-aware of foster kids and adopted kids who sustain child abuse and sexual abuse when shuffled from home to home.
Patty said reading my account was very upsetting even though she’s safe now and the abuse occurred decades ago when she was younger than 12.
She told me, “Abuse lasts for a lifetime. Even at an age where my own children are now teens, child abuse affects every decision, every opinion, every reaction I make.”
“It’s part of who I am, like a birthmark.”
Patty said she learned to live with savage beatings and solitary confinement. She said, “Horrible abuse that would have landed my stepmother in prison today… what she did back then when people minded their own business. I was horribly abused, locked in closets for days at a time while my mother partied, beaten until I looked like a rainbow, whipped with electrical cords, but oh how I wanted her to love me. That was so long ago and yet it never completely leaves my awareness.
I ran away again and again until I no longer had to run. I lived on the streets from age 14 to 18, when I finally applied for, and was granted, emancipation.”
Patty admits that a love of reading helped her years of hard living and abuse on the streets. “I spent every spare minute reading, hours upon hours in the coolness of the libraries in the various cities I hitchhiked to. No one ever questioned or bothered me in the libraries.”
Looking back 20 years, Patty reflects on her own children today. “I never raised a hand to my children, never verbally abused them never called them names or hurt them with words because in my opinion the worst sin is to deliberately hurt others. My youngest is 16, a straight-A student since kindergarten; and the oldest is an artistic freshman in college.
Yes, child abuse can be survived. But the biggest obstacle is trust. You never learn to trust anyone. Ever again. Ever. The hardest part of any relationship for me is learning how to trust someone. I’ll never be able to trust easily.”
“Someday I’ll be alone again.”
Thanks Patty. Tell me your adoption story here!
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Monday, April 2nd, 2012
Co-creator Nancy Schwartzman was, in fact, a victim of sexual abuse when she was young, and she is hyper-aware of the very real threats to safety that result in 1 of 4 college-age women reporting sexual assault. A fierce advocate for social change, Nancy recently served as the Campaign & Advocacy Director for the Sundance award-winning documentary, The Invisible War, about rape in the military. She published op-eds about local NYC sexual violence, is an active member of the feminist community, and has participated in many initiatives, panels, and events.
Schwartzman says this app is just one tool available for young folks that offers support rather than victim-blaming and scare tactics.
Throughout Nancy’s work as a filmmaker and founder of The Line Campaign – a non-profit that creates media to empower young leaders to end sexual violence — she is very savvy about ways to engage young people with tools, stories, and solutions. Her sex-positive approach to violence prevention has been very successful in her work with college students around the country, too.
Always solutions-oriented, Nancy’s work in conferences, workshops, and online campaigns (@thelinecampaign) taps into young people’s enthusiasm for technology and multimedia avenues of engagement that allows them to share their stories, explore the very personal ways they choose to experience sex and love (and how best to communicate their boundaries to their partners), and to feel the support of the community around the Circle of 6 iPhone app!
She drew from dozens of candid conversations with students across the country on how consent, dating culture, and rape affect their lives and what strategies have proven most effective in preventing violence, including leveraging existing social networks. Try her app!
Do you have an inspiring story of helping kids or helping a family through the emotional roller-coaster of adoption? Tell me your story here!
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Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
Since I’ve been hosting these Adoption Diaries for Parents.com, and filling you in on my family’s decision to adopt a daughter from India or another poverty-stricken country to help an orphan child.
But since I’ve been writing this column three days a week, for a year now, I’ve fielded many questions from outraged readers when I discuss how much money it costs to adopt a healthy white baby from Russia, for instance, (about $70,000) versus adopting an older toddler from India who may have a mild special needs case, such as a cleft lip which can be fixed with surgery.
Approximate cost of a 2-year wait for a Special Needs kid is less than $25,000 everything included. Does that sound like a monetary judgement to children? If you think about it in a level-headed way, which is hard to do with adoption, maybe sometimes it’s OK to buy a baby if someone wants to sell her?
Here’s a story about a high-priced adoption attorney in my home town of Los Angeles, who filed phony broth certificates and health insurance forms for bilking a dozen adoptive couples out of at least $100,000 each to buy a healthy newborn.
Based on legislation preventing attorney Theresa Erickson [photographed above] to pay young surrogate mothers to carry embryos to term so she could sell the implanted babies to the highest bidders. Erickson attested that the surrogate mothers were paid up to $45,000 each to give birth. Two of her co-dependents have already pleaded guilty.
Attracting Wealthy Gay Couples in Hollywood
This is how badly people want a baby when they cannot have one of their own. Parents get desperate, but is somehow seems unholy to cold-bloodedly generate healthy white newborns from young blond mothers when there are over 500,000 older toddlers and children in the foster care system.
What do you think of an attorney who found loopholes in the California legal system in order to pay women to give birth and then sell those newborns to wealthy parents in Southern California who paid on average $100,000.
How much jail time does this adoption attorney deserve in jail? Just for her one count of mail fraud, she may receive five years. Tell me your adoption story here!
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Friday, December 30th, 2011
It’s a wintry 63 degrees in Los Angeles, as I stretch out from a 4-mile run along the river. The Los Angeles River is much more pastoral and fast-flowing than you’d imagine.
I notice two pink-clad toddlers crab-walking across the lawn toward the local playground right around the corner from my house. They can’t be more than three years old, twins, with two handsome gay daddies laughing on either side.
They make a geometric foursome. Two handsome buttoned-down white-collar dads, each holding the hand of a delicious-looking little girl with jet-black curls and tan skin — I’d bet my Latin roots the little girls are from Guatemala.
If you think it’s strenuous to adopt a foreign toddler because of finances or advanced age, you should see how hard it is to adopt when you are single or gay. Or both! (Several gay adoptive parents I have interviewed don’t want to go on the record but told me that they never inform adoption agencies about their homosexual proclivities on an adoption application.)
Kudos to the couples who persevere. Some Asian and Africa countries, in particular, make it impossible for gay families to adopt.
I watch this happy quartet (two matching daughters with two nearly matching daddies) toddle to the monkey bars, and I can’t take my eyes off the twins. I’m suddenly so envious I feel like throwing up.
I move closer to see what the two little girls are wearing: Is their hair brushed? Does the one on the left have a dimple in her chin? I imagine what those two lives would have been like in Guatemala or Haiti where so many poverty-stricken children do not have enough to eat.
You are here in Los Angeles, lucky daughters! Land of the Free and the Eco-conscious – and the Gorgeous too. These giggly shy adopted children are wearing designer duds and one dad looks vaguely familiar too, an actor for sure. The other dad might be a doctor or a lawyer; he is well dressed and totally focused on his family.
I realize I am still staring at the insta-family much too hard. Both daddies are now frowning in my direction. I have not blinked away for long minutes. I may look like a crazy stalker mommy.
Careful! One sweaty stranger lurks in the park just staring at your adopted offspring.
She is I.
Have you gone off the deep end during your adoption search? Tell me a good story and I will publish it.
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