Posts Tagged ‘ older moms ’

Adopted Son Steve Jobs was Loved, Adored and… Adopted. RIP

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Of course, the adoption boards are buzzing because this brilliant entrepreneur and philanthropist, who was placed for adoption in 1955, has died after a long fight with pancreatic cancer. Much more has been written about the love and support of Jobs’s adoptive parents who also adopted his sister, Patricia, than his little-known birth parents.

But I’ve been wondering about the biological parents and about the child they placed for adoption at birth. Steve Jobs. Whew.

Bio-father Abdul Fattah Jandali was a young Syrian immigrant in Wisconsin, who never even met his newborn son. When the baby was born to the 23-year-old Jandali — now known as John — and his 23-year-old girlfriend, Joanne Schieble, in 1955, there was no chance baby Steve would be able to grow up with his biological parents.

Joanne, born to a white, conservative Christian family, allegedly could not convince her parents to marry an Arab, and a Muslim at that! You can read much about this slim wunderkind of Apple computers and technology as we know it.  (Interestingly, Jobs was not ever interested in meeting his birth parents although he was aware of them. Years later his birth parents did marry and raise other children. That’s wild too!)

More than anything, though, when you consider the soaring heights and successes this business impresario has enjoyed, how many people his companies employ all over the world… ya gotta admit both sets of parents did something quite right with this child.

First his young and terrified birth mother (in the 50s!) ran to San Francisco from the Midwest to place her child into a caring nurse’s arms in a hospital. Safe and sound. How amazing and selfless and responsible this decision can be.

Then, consider the childless couple who yearned for him, finally found him and adopted him and then joyously nurtured Jobs throughout childhood and adulthood. Growing up, Steve Jobs lived a kind and beautiful life, he lived in a privileged world to Clara and Paul Jobs in the suburbs of Mountain View, Calif., now commonly called Silicon Valley. They adopted his sister Patricia as well!

Imagine? Imagine the possibilities for children who enter adoption or foster care because they deserve a chance like Steve Jobs had? Imagine the possibilities…

This adoptive son made good. Very good, indeed. What a great story. RIP Steve Jobs, adopted son. Next one might be you!

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff

Infertility and Adoption, Make the Decision!

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

baby shower adoption diariesThere are four of us, you’ve probably heard us cackling at the Los Angeles Museum of Art, sipping wine near the Rodin Statue Garden. All members of the media: two writers, a marketing maven and one hot PR chick. We get together monthly (or so) to gossip and motivate each other to try that new belly dancing class, or debate the need for Four Square.

Going around the table, on our second glass of  Chablis, I tell my tribe about this exciting adoption-blogging gig for Parents.com. As PR chick launches into a social media plan for Tweeting all week long — generous friends — I happen to look across at *Barbara sitting opposite me.

She is sitting over a half-eaten stuffed jalapeno with tears streaking down her pale face.

Barbara has been trying to get pregnant with her husband for six years. She had health complications and by the time doctors cleared up down below, well, she’s nearly 50.

I am the first to notice Barbra’s hand cupping her tears like a goblet, like a precious offering at the dinner table.

“We’re not going to adopt,” she tells us in a rush. While her husband was willing to take fertility tests, shoot her in the ass with sickening hormones every day, and all that waiting waiting waiting, he is finally not open to adoption. He says looking into adoption now, after all the other infertility disappointments, is just too much.

He says the baby longing and the crushing disappointments are too hard on their marriage. “She’s dying,” he says of his wife.

Tonight over tapas, Barbara says in a too-calm tone: “I can’t talk about this anymore. Let’s move the conversation onward.” It sounded like she is blandly discussing a 401K bond. We all look around the table and fight for control; we’ve been getting no baby updates from our friend for years now.

We all finally raise our glasses to toas. To Barbara. To moving on.

But I cannot help myself. I finally say, “Barbara, you would have been the most absolutely, fucking amazing mother.”

She stops crying.

We drink.

Join me next week where we discuss how infertility and adoption intertwine.

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Back To The Adoption Diaries, by Nicole Dorsey-Straff