Posts Tagged ‘ newborn adoption ’

Part 2: Adoption, Last Stop for Infertile Couples?

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

IMG_ courtneyIf you tuned in on Monday, I explored the story of Courtney and Patrick, 36, who have battled infertility for all ten years of their marriage. Finally, only last summer, did the IVF costs and eternal dashed hopes lead  Courtney to the decision to adopt. Patrick has been open to this decision for years but it took a lot longer for Courtney to catch up!

“I had it in my head that old argument about giving birth to my biological children, blood of my blood kind of thing,” says Courtney today. It took this smart nurse almost a decade to make her decision!

Last summer 2010, the couple Courtney and Patrick earned a foster care license from their Lincoln, Neb. county. They took a 3-hour orientation (as any foster family must) and underwent the 24 hours of hardcore parental training.She says, “We let our assigned resource foster partner know from the very beginning that we were interested in newborns and twins only, and we definitely would adopt any foster children.

It happened quickly: On January 5, a case worker called to say a potential twin match was made and we waited. And waited for the twins to be released from the hospital in mid-January. “The babes were dropped off one snowy night, we signed four sheets of legal paperwork to foster these twin boys, and then we were finally alone with them!” she says.

Did the new parents feel freaked out? Yep. “We knew next to nothing about these little guys but had a ton of social workers visit, follow-up agency care and the months have passed with now monthly visits from our social workers There is still so much paper work and regulations to formally adopt these two twin boys but overall the foster care experience has been wonderful.”

Courtney also reports, “We’ve had the boys 8 months and I can’t imagine life any other way. I thought of them as mine from the moment I looked at them, despite being told not to do that. That is the one drawback of adopting through foster care; in most cases family reunification is the goal. Our case was a bit different in that there was little chance for reunification because this particular bio mom has six other kids that have been removed from her care over the years.”

Bottom line advice from joyous mom Courtney: “From that first moment, I could not love them any more. Love like this is everything I dreamed it would be; it makes me the woman I am meant to be, the family we were meant to be. All worth it.”

Please tell me your story, and thanks to Courtney and Patrick for their perseverance!

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Part 1: Adoption, the Last Hope for Infertile Couples

Monday, September 19th, 2011

courtney JPG Part 1 and 2I am getting some great stories about adoption, especially wanting to adopt, and I’d love you guys to meet my friend Courtney, a 36-year-old nurse who has battled infertility with her husband for 10 years.

If you’ve tuned in here, you know I feel so strongly about this subject because so many of my 40-ish friends are facing IVF and long-term infertility. I sent out a prod asking readers to help me explain the next step for infertile couples. After the horrid tests, rounds of hormones and the chronic aching disappointment, at what point do you turn to adoption?

What makes a couple move from the heartbreak and desperation of infertility to the hopeful journey into adoption?

Courtney says, “My husband, Patrick, and I have struggled with infertility throughout our entire relationship. In 2008 we were on the verge of moving forward with in-vitro fertilization, but the cost was too prohibitive and we were moving from Indiana to Nebraska.”

After another year with more fertility specialists in Nebraska, Courtney began giving up all hope of motherhood.

Husband Patrick was contacting adoption agencies and getting information while Courtney became overwhelmed with increasingly invasive procedures in hopes of getting pregnant. So Patrick was considering adoption at least a year before the wife. Interesting.

Cost played a huge part in our choice not to try more vitro,” says Courtney. When the couple explored newborn domestic adoption, cost was still an issue: the fees, the home studies, paying the birth mother’s expenses just felt like too much.

She says, “I was slipping into deep depression that left me doubting I even wanted to stay married; Patrick was living in the hell I was creating with my constant misery.”

From my friends and directly from Courtney, my heart aches for so many couples such as this:  Do you have an infertility story that turned to adoption that you’d like me to tell in order to inspire other couples to not give up hope?

Contact me below, and tune in on Wednesday for Part 2: Courtney’s happy ending!

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