Posts Tagged ‘ infertility ’

Can You Change Your Mind About Domestic Adoption?

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012

Well, of course you can at any point, but I did not consider it for our family. But this is taking awhile.

When my family eventually adopts a toddler from another continent, via international adoption and most likely from India, we ensure someone else’s daughter will understand about womens rights and have a right to vote, and to drive, and to pick her own husband.

We lean toward adopting an international daughter from India because so many little girls in Third World countries are sold into prostitution and slavery.

Our first route was definitely private domestic adoptions and my family started off by being informed about open adoptions, but the more he heard about it the more my husband was uncomfortable with contact with her birth family. He is a very private guy, doesn’t communicate with his own father anymore, and basically wants a child that belongs to him and him alone.

I know I’m going to hear it from all you domestic, open adoption fans but we prefer an international child who lives here with us while her poor, biological parents reside in India, 9,000 miles away, or whatever.

We know the stats as potential adoptive parents, more communicative and kinder open adoptions are better than before. Families can (and often do) sidestep the stigma of adoption to meet and establish initial communications between both families; yearly reunions or monthly letters helps the adopted child with health histories and cultural identity.

Darrin wants no part of this universe. I want to hear from adoptees who have never kept in touch with birth parents versus domestic and open newborn adoption. I think botoh sound incredibly difficult. Do you?

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Foster Care Child Burned by Hot Spoons, Tortured

Friday, July 20th, 2012

LA County’s child protective services can be scary from the outside looking in. My family is worried about adopting from local foster care and inheriting a sick child with issues we don’t want to handle. That’s the truth.

When you’ve been through foster resource family orientation and filed paperwork to be a foster parent or a foster-to-adopt family, you must take 24 hours (four consecutive Tuesdays for six hours each) of lessons, seminars and what if situations.

In these 6-hour sessions, you play-act with your mate (if you have one) so you’re better prepared for a foster toddler who may have seen some sad situations, or been neglected or abused.

At the beginning of summer, we postponed the mandatory 24 hours of foster family training because our schedules were so busy but also because of stories like these:

According to the LA Times, a 5-year-old boy, known as Johnny, was rescued from a San Bernardino home in 2009,  burned with a glue gun and hot spoons. He had been starved and sodomized, punched and forced to crouch motionless.

Foster parents Martin Roland Morales, 35, and Juan Carlos Santos-Herrera, 22, were found guilty of torture, child abuse and sodomizing a child less than 10 years of age. Another adult, Crystal Rodriguez, 35, was convicted of child endangerment after failing to protect another young victim,  according to reports.

Child welfare officials in Los Angeles County determined the allegations that he had been abused were unfounded and the officials determined that the “child [was] not at risk.”

An internal review concluded that the finding was wrong. Johnny, now 8, lives in an adoptive home and is academically gifted.

All across American, little lids are abused in the foster care system and beyond. I don’t think I can personally handle scary emotionally abused child who could light my house on fire. Poison my dogs. You know?

What are my odds? Does this sound terrible?

Tell me your adoption story in Comments below.

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Actress Nia Vardalos Adopts Daughter from Foster Care

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

Part 2: If you joined us Monday, we interviewed the star of An American Girl: McKenna Shoots For The Stars, which just launched on DVD. Gorgeous Greek actress Nia Vardalos finally plays a mother in the movies.

At first Vardalos and her husband were interested in an international adoption – but they waited over five years on a Chinese international adoption for a young daughter. Simultaneously, she also waited for four long years for a Greek daughter . Then, nothing.

Two years went by, then three, four and even five years of waiting for an international adoption.

Four years ago, Nia signed up with a US Foster Care agency. Vardalos said, “Ultimately when I started working with American Foster Care, we met our daughter nine months later.”

She remembers the day about four years ago: “We were really excited when we met her for the first time. She was being brought to an office to meet us. She didn’t know who we were. She was almost three years old, but the agency does a really nice thing; they don’t tell the child they are meeting prospective parents. It’s called a chemistry meeting. We all just have fun.”

The thrilled couple drove into the parking garage of the agency, and she was there. Vardalos said, “We walked toward her and my first thought was, ‘Oh I found you. Finally, finally, finally. We never looked back.’”

Vardalos’ daughter is 7 now, and the actress refuses to reveal her name or a full-frontal photograph [see photo above].  “We want to give her a normal life.”

Vardalos believed the hardest part of the adoption process was waiting for her gorgeous girl but also making sure she was then comfortable and well-loved when she finally arrived. “We wanted to be sure our daughter knew this was a continuation of her life. And assimilating a 3-year-old into our house was emotional. We had just bought a white couch a month before. Mistake.”

Vardalos said, “I became a much more nurturing person – also as an actress – since I became a mother. I think every parent wonders how to balance motherhood and work, time for me and my friends and keeping up on FaceBook and exercise. How do we do it all? Parenthood is just so real.”

Tell us your adoption story here, and thanks to actress Nia Vardalos for sharing her domestic adoption experiences.

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Actress Nia Vardalos Talks Adoption, American Girl Movie

Monday, July 9th, 2012

Part 1:  I talked to bubbly Nia Vardalos, star of An American Girl: McKenna Shoots For The Stars, which launched on Blu-raylast week.  Vardalos dishes to The Adoption Diaries about her own family’s domestic adoption, the emotional journey, and what it’s like to finally play a mother for the first time in the movies.

Adoption Diaries: Coming from a strong Greek and ethnic background, did you initially look into international adoption?
Nia Vardalos: Yes, and if you personally feel that your child could be maybe in India or in China then sign up with those agencies and get on those waiting lists and get out there and find your child. We also looked into a private domestic [adoption] which costs approximately $30,000 and of course there are big costs associated with international adoption as well.

AD: How did you narrow down your huge international search into a local, domestic adoption with a toddler?
NV: We finally signed up for a domestic adoption via American Foster Care, which oddly is almost cost free. We didn’t know that when we started the process. We are still on waiting lists for many countries, but it just happened that ours was free, or nearly free because we started the process here [in the domestic foster care system].

“We waited on a waiting list for China for about five years and then simultaneously we were on a waiting list for Greece on a 4-year waiting list. That was hard.”

She continued, “For infant domestic adoption [private newborn adoption] you fill out paperwork and you make a profile on yourself and then the birth mother chooses the prospective family. We did not get matched in that way — it  never happened that way for our family. Ultimately we started working with American Foster Care, and ironically we met our daughter nine months later, via domestic foster care agencies.”

Join us again on Wednesday when we continue interviewing Nia Vardalos about her new movie, which launched on Blu-Ray last week, An American Girl: McKenna Shoots For The Stars.

Photo Credit: Gene Reed

 

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Military Families Celebrate July 4th with Adoption

Friday, July 6th, 2012

Congratulations to air force family Travis and Jenn, who adopted their beautiful son Isaac this year [photograph of Travis holding Isaac at right] after the dynamic and deserving couple persevered through eight miscarriages. 

Jenn’s career air force husband Travis was transferred south to an army base in southwest Missouri, and they started life anew. Doctors discovered Jenn suffers from a clotting disorder as she miscarried once again in Missouri. Jenn herself was adopted, and her little brother too.

Today we salute all the military parents who have to be away from their loved ones, their children, to fight for our country and preserve our freedoms for generations to come.

Thanks for Jenn and Travis for sharing these photos of their new son, Isaac.

Happy July 4th to troops everywhere who protect and rescue children from horrible, heartrending circumstances all over the globe. As our family continues on the quest to internationally adopt an orphan from a poverty-stricken or war-torn country, I thank our troops for helping to stabilize and protect mothers and children in countries like the Sudan, Ethiopia and Somali.

Happy July 4th to all. Tell me your adoption story in Comments below.

Photo credit: Military father Travis with newly adopted son, Isaac

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